2 weeks have passed

[_durty_laundry_]

and once again so much has happened
theres perry, hes a stoner surfer
who thinks he likes me, but im not sure he knows what that means
casey who has a nice voice
but i ruined things with him last quarter, my bad
jordan, studly
kellen, crazy but! were friends
montana who's real name is peter, texter
bryan knapp once again, you don't go places alone, unless you expect something
ryan patrick kelly brown, buddy holly
idk none of it really matters
at all

because i think about it
and all i care about is my school
yea id love to like someone
have them like me
hang out all the time
but im actually happy with being just me
not a we with anyone
just me

i really would love to do it all over again though

and my problem is
i want love, to love, to be loved, to be in love, i want it
and im afraid whats going to happen is i'll find a guy i like and
say i love him and everything just to have the feeling
but none of it would be real
i miss having someones arms around me, but it doesnt mean i want YOUR arms around me, it means i want that feeling of someone holding me, the person will mean nothing
and thats a problem
so i cant be drawn to anyone
because it wont be real