today != awesome
omfg wtf
Imagine that, sung up and down a harmonic minor scale about forty times, and you'll start to get an idea of what today feels like. After deciding that it would be a good idea to drink about an entire bottle of bourbon last night, followed by a couple of ciders, followed by Starseeds migas, I somehow managed to get home without dying (I'm an idiot, I know) and pass out in bed. I think I had a bunch of fucked up dreams, but for whatever reason I decided to wake up about 6am in a state of rather pronounced agitation. Fuck if I know... seems like I've been getting pissed off or at least really moody when I get drunk lately, which is really unlike me, so that's not the pinnacle of awesome I don't know what is.
Oh well, at least it's monday. Unfortunately the coffee has fallen short of it's former glory, so I decided to get an odwalla... well, I tried this new "Super Protein Latte". I can attest that this beverage tastes like nothing less than the unfiltered nectar of the WTF tree itself. It's like they used a special process that strains wtfbeans through jockstraps worn by samoan sewer workers. Oh well... at least I get to listen to the guy that sits next to me, who has the customer service skills of a chechnyan terrorist, laughs like Pat from that saturday night live skit, and sounds like two asthmatic elephants taking turns sodomizing each other.
Imagine that, sung up and down a harmonic minor scale about forty times, and you'll start to get an idea of what today feels like. After deciding that it would be a good idea to drink about an entire bottle of bourbon last night, followed by a couple of ciders, followed by Starseeds migas, I somehow managed to get home without dying (I'm an idiot, I know) and pass out in bed. I think I had a bunch of fucked up dreams, but for whatever reason I decided to wake up about 6am in a state of rather pronounced agitation. Fuck if I know... seems like I've been getting pissed off or at least really moody when I get drunk lately, which is really unlike me, so that's not the pinnacle of awesome I don't know what is.
Oh well, at least it's monday. Unfortunately the coffee has fallen short of it's former glory, so I decided to get an odwalla... well, I tried this new "Super Protein Latte". I can attest that this beverage tastes like nothing less than the unfiltered nectar of the WTF tree itself. It's like they used a special process that strains wtfbeans through jockstraps worn by samoan sewer workers. Oh well... at least I get to listen to the guy that sits next to me, who has the customer service skills of a chechnyan terrorist, laughs like Pat from that saturday night live skit, and sounds like two asthmatic elephants taking turns sodomizing each other.