(no subject)
hey kids!
havnt updated in a while so heres whats been goin on with me....
graduated rehab with extreme anxiety and relief. i was really excited to be graduating but at the same time really sad to be leaving the people: jen, aish, philly, erik, and devin among otheres; who i had gotten extremely close with. you guys dont even know how much you mean to me. you all have helped me so much and i will miss you sooooo much. hopefully i will see you all soon. jen: stay strong hun! <33
halloween was good. i have a new friend. katie o connell i shte most amazing person ever. i love her sooooo much. i picked her up and we went trick or treating around my house with matt burke and we stalked people... well katie stalked kids while i laughed my ass off. then i was shooting people with the air soft gun and it finally backfired on me when some kids got pissed off and started throwing eggs at me. matt and katie ran away and i was hiding in a bush and almost got my ass kicked by this kid who kinda resembled the amazing hulk. i was scared but its cool. kinda funny. i got egged... it was cute. then i saw some friends and we went to the park and frolicked on the jungle gym and swings in the wee hours of the morning. then katie and i had to go to school and we were tired... it sucked. but i love katie o connell!!!!!
ive been doing well in school. got my report card and i did well. my lowest grade is a C+ in spanish III but overall im happy with it. i think im finally getting back on track with where i used to be before all the shit. i am happy but it is really hard sometimes. i like my personality better this way but when i look at myself im unhappy. its a constant battle in my head and sometimes i just want to break down and cry. i know everyone is always here for me because i have amazing friends. im so sorry for hurting any of you while i was attempting to find myself. but i just wish i could have someone that knew exactly what i was thinking and feeling. i need comfort. i need warmth. i need love.
this past weekend was a lot of fun too. thursday night i went to citywalk for jenna's surprise partay. HAPPY BDAY!!! we ate at bucca de beppos and then we went back to jennas. megan and i had our own fun planned and we were up till real late. i love that gurl! then yesterday we woke up early to drop off homecoming slip for joshy at calabasas and i saw the evil whores car. i wanted to kill it. grrrr... then we went shopping on rodeo.. got slightly lost and spent 1hr and a half getting there in bumper to bumper traffic. came back around 3 in more traffic... went to the dermatologist to get my cancerous mole removed. gross i know. went to the gym and drove to the triplets house to get ready for the game. i saw hugh!!!! i love that boy! i miss you buddy boy and u need to come visit again soon.... next weekend when you come back down with chris we are definately chillin... sooo exciting!!went to in n out with them and then got to the game after halftime. hmmm someone didnt get homecoming king.... bummer... douche! maybe if you were nicer you wouldve won, how you got nominated im still unsure. took matt burke home and sped like a mofo. thank the lord for no cops. i saw james at the game. hes so cute with his crutches. xoxo.
i wanna go out more i miss being out and about. anyways.... love to all and im out. gimme a call! xoxoxo
<33 Amanda <33
p.s. im confused again. why do i miss you when u are constantly mean to me. everyone says its wrong and im dumb. i talk to other *him* and he gets angry at me for even talking to you still. does he care about me? i dont know. i think if he lived closed there would be a possibility that we would be together. he is someone id be happy with. hes caring and opinionated and uhhhhh... god i hate boys and the feelings that come with relationships with any of them. im pretty sure i need to let go of the past and move on.
**ill spread my wings and ill learn how to fly and though its not easy to tell you goodbye i gottan take a risk, take a chance, make a change and breakaway**
havnt updated in a while so heres whats been goin on with me....
graduated rehab with extreme anxiety and relief. i was really excited to be graduating but at the same time really sad to be leaving the people: jen, aish, philly, erik, and devin among otheres; who i had gotten extremely close with. you guys dont even know how much you mean to me. you all have helped me so much and i will miss you sooooo much. hopefully i will see you all soon. jen: stay strong hun! <33
halloween was good. i have a new friend. katie o connell i shte most amazing person ever. i love her sooooo much. i picked her up and we went trick or treating around my house with matt burke and we stalked people... well katie stalked kids while i laughed my ass off. then i was shooting people with the air soft gun and it finally backfired on me when some kids got pissed off and started throwing eggs at me. matt and katie ran away and i was hiding in a bush and almost got my ass kicked by this kid who kinda resembled the amazing hulk. i was scared but its cool. kinda funny. i got egged... it was cute. then i saw some friends and we went to the park and frolicked on the jungle gym and swings in the wee hours of the morning. then katie and i had to go to school and we were tired... it sucked. but i love katie o connell!!!!!
ive been doing well in school. got my report card and i did well. my lowest grade is a C+ in spanish III but overall im happy with it. i think im finally getting back on track with where i used to be before all the shit. i am happy but it is really hard sometimes. i like my personality better this way but when i look at myself im unhappy. its a constant battle in my head and sometimes i just want to break down and cry. i know everyone is always here for me because i have amazing friends. im so sorry for hurting any of you while i was attempting to find myself. but i just wish i could have someone that knew exactly what i was thinking and feeling. i need comfort. i need warmth. i need love.
this past weekend was a lot of fun too. thursday night i went to citywalk for jenna's surprise partay. HAPPY BDAY!!! we ate at bucca de beppos and then we went back to jennas. megan and i had our own fun planned and we were up till real late. i love that gurl! then yesterday we woke up early to drop off homecoming slip for joshy at calabasas and i saw the evil whores car. i wanted to kill it. grrrr... then we went shopping on rodeo.. got slightly lost and spent 1hr and a half getting there in bumper to bumper traffic. came back around 3 in more traffic... went to the dermatologist to get my cancerous mole removed. gross i know. went to the gym and drove to the triplets house to get ready for the game. i saw hugh!!!! i love that boy! i miss you buddy boy and u need to come visit again soon.... next weekend when you come back down with chris we are definately chillin... sooo exciting!!went to in n out with them and then got to the game after halftime. hmmm someone didnt get homecoming king.... bummer... douche! maybe if you were nicer you wouldve won, how you got nominated im still unsure. took matt burke home and sped like a mofo. thank the lord for no cops. i saw james at the game. hes so cute with his crutches. xoxo.
i wanna go out more i miss being out and about. anyways.... love to all and im out. gimme a call! xoxoxo
<33 Amanda <33
p.s. im confused again. why do i miss you when u are constantly mean to me. everyone says its wrong and im dumb. i talk to other *him* and he gets angry at me for even talking to you still. does he care about me? i dont know. i think if he lived closed there would be a possibility that we would be together. he is someone id be happy with. hes caring and opinionated and uhhhhh... god i hate boys and the feelings that come with relationships with any of them. im pretty sure i need to let go of the past and move on.
**ill spread my wings and ill learn how to fly and though its not easy to tell you goodbye i gottan take a risk, take a chance, make a change and breakaway**