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Dec 31, 2009 11:09

Nothing is the same in my life. Although my surroundings and my interests and endeavors are completely different, I still feel the same-indifferent, ha ha.

No matter how shitty a situation i'm in, I feel no worse than I ever do because I don't care about anything anymore, really. Which is a good thing, seeing as though I've been in a shitty situation perpetually for the past 2 years or so.
People that I care about and zealously try to please will always change on me, or dismiss my efforts.
Friends that have countlessly betrayed my trust and deceived me will always feel entitled to crucify me for something I do that isn't even nearly as treacherous or selfish as what they have done to me so many times (with me always forgiving them).
Since when did you suddenly develop an interest in the fucking laws of friendship? Now, the same standards in friendship that I so eagerly delineated to you over and over again, NOW they make sense? When only applicable to situations where you are the one left feeling hurt and angry and "played for a fool"?
You're right, i'm a sinner, and you're a saint.
People will always expect me to do what makes them happiest.
But nobody will sacrifice anything they value, for the sake of my happiness.
I've never asked anybody to, either.
I can be trampled on. I can be taken for granted. I can be forgotten, outcasted, betrayed, abandoned, neglected, replaced, bullied, underestimated, used, put on the back-burner…

If you SAY you just want me to be happy, then you must mean it, right?

Okay then, I believe you.
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