lazy days...

Jan 30, 2005 02:26

so i havent been up to much... finally answered the phone when robbie & meechie called. i told them i wouldnt mind chillin with'em but i'm stayin clean. robbie said he needed to find a job by monday, which by now, is tomorrow... otherwise he's getting kicked outta his house. and guess what he's doing now? smokin a blunt with meechie and a-dub. go fucking figure. all those boys are so stuck in the "peter pan" stage, when they're 30 fucking yrs old still sitting on their asses at their parents home, or in some dump they call a home, reality will fucking knock them off their feet.

i so need to get outta here.
i'm half tempted to just call my godfather or my mother's friend to send me a ticket to cali so i can start my new life there already. -sighs- mike's sick, and i miss his voice oh so much... it breaks my heart into millions of pieces when i cant be there for him. but sometimes i feel as though he doesnt care as much. he always says noone will ever love me as much as he does... i'll see for myself when the time comes.

but! until then i have some unfinished business to tend to here. vero should be coming to meet me soon, so i'm happy about that. i finally talked to dave on the phone for like an hour earlier... if i wasnt grinning or laughing, i was talking. at first he didnt seem like the talkative type, but i like to think i brought it outta him to talk more. -gets distracted watching Adventure Bros.- either way... i enjoyed talking with him on the phone and hope he keeps his promise to me. the only way i'd keep my promise to see him, is if he keeps his promise to see me first. basically, our bond grows stronger. vero's so determined to play cupid with us... me and dave? a thing? we'll see.

i tried waking cameron up several times between 7-11pm. he seems really sincere with his apologies. but i'm trying to get my sleeping schedule back to normal. i'd like for him to as well, but it doesnt really help when he's still sleeping ass backward hours. i've grown to love him to pieces, but my patience wears thin as it is. no matter how tired i am, no matter what kind of condition i'm in... i always stay awake long enough to keep a decent convo, or i wake up right away to keep my word. when i say i'm going to speak with that person, i intend to somehow, someway... JUST to keep my word. i dont make promises i cant keep. and anyone that knows me well enough KNOWS damn well i rarely make promises, but i do my damndest to do what i can for them.
/end of fucking rant.

the talent show went well for the boys... they played American Idiot and Boulevard of Broken Dreams by Green Day. the first verse of American Idiot has the word "fuck" in it, so i guess my brother was lucky the mic didnt work at all for the first song. lol the other acts were pretty good... most were of the girls and some of the guys i used to go to school with. of course none of them recognized me, or didnt bother to acknowledge that they remembered me at all. i noticed a few glances or recognition, but of course... no conversations were made. i feel pathetic. i grew up in this god damned town... i know so many fucking people, and yet... all i have are acquaintances. fuck friends. they come and go... mostly go, in my situation.
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