(no subject)
its quiet times like these that i feel most myself. sitting here at the computer at work, drinking my now-lukewarm coffe, the hum of the machines running outside a white noise for the day. just sent an email off to my mom, and for whatever reason, have become rather contemplative. its funny how fast life goes by as you get older. it seems as though each year that passes loses a few months. you cant quite place how it got to be the day it is, the year it is. when was it that five, six, eleven months passed you by?
i met tim a year ago today. odd, that i remember things like that. perhaps its because i was listening to the jealous sound last night, or perhaps its because we talked online for a bit yesterday. who knows. it brought back a lot of the good memories i had with him. before things turned too serious, too soon. breakfast at ihop, new exposure to music i never would have considered in the past, and lots of laughter. comraderie... i miss him. not in the way of the past 9 months... but in the way we were in the beginning. the friendship we had. maybe too much has happened for us to get back to that place. we certainly wont ever spend that much time together again. but maybe its possible. who knows. like i said, its this quiet state of mind that makes me think too much.
this weekend is pollock pines with dylan, and then natalie's wedding. im apprehensive about going to pollock pines, but at the same time, its not something ive done before...gone away for the weekend with a boyfriend. at least not this early on into things. granted, its not as though we're going to be the only ones there. and im really quite excited about natalie's wedding. she's such a sweet person, and so happy to be getting married to rafa finally. and he's a wonderful guy; the kind she deserves.
valentine's day is in less than a week. i couldnt be dreading it more. not because i dont have someone; i do. but because its all so contrived. there should be no need for gifts, you shouldnt need a holiday to show someone you care. a simple hug, kiss, or even a look, can do that.
mr. bill has arrived, and the office has this "bustling" feel... the amount of work hasnt changed, just the energy. so now i must go...work.
i met tim a year ago today. odd, that i remember things like that. perhaps its because i was listening to the jealous sound last night, or perhaps its because we talked online for a bit yesterday. who knows. it brought back a lot of the good memories i had with him. before things turned too serious, too soon. breakfast at ihop, new exposure to music i never would have considered in the past, and lots of laughter. comraderie... i miss him. not in the way of the past 9 months... but in the way we were in the beginning. the friendship we had. maybe too much has happened for us to get back to that place. we certainly wont ever spend that much time together again. but maybe its possible. who knows. like i said, its this quiet state of mind that makes me think too much.
this weekend is pollock pines with dylan, and then natalie's wedding. im apprehensive about going to pollock pines, but at the same time, its not something ive done before...gone away for the weekend with a boyfriend. at least not this early on into things. granted, its not as though we're going to be the only ones there. and im really quite excited about natalie's wedding. she's such a sweet person, and so happy to be getting married to rafa finally. and he's a wonderful guy; the kind she deserves.
valentine's day is in less than a week. i couldnt be dreading it more. not because i dont have someone; i do. but because its all so contrived. there should be no need for gifts, you shouldnt need a holiday to show someone you care. a simple hug, kiss, or even a look, can do that.
mr. bill has arrived, and the office has this "bustling" feel... the amount of work hasnt changed, just the energy. so now i must go...work.