(no subject)
Here, this is the last journal entry I'll make about you. It may be lengthy, it may not. But here goes.
In the past few weeks you've been changing dramatically. I don't mean changing as in be a being mean, cold, or whatever you want to call it to me. I mean, you go back to the friends you had before. You go back to getting drunk all the time, but this time, you've got a two year old to take care of. Thing you fail to realize is that I do love you and Ada very very much, but there is only so much one person can take, and you have pushed me to that limit. When will you realize that you are the only one who can fix your life? When will you get off your feet and do something for yourself? I'm not trying to be insulting, but honestly, I personally want you to succeed in life wether or not you're my friend, girlfriend, fiancé, or nothing. I want you to make an impact in the world like you say you want to do. I want you to go to school again. I want you to be successful and give Ada a great life since I'm not longer able to do so because I'm not allowed to see her like you promised I would be. Maybe you should for once try to stop partying and stop trying to please your friends and do something for your life. Yea, this comes off as rude, but honestly, you get down in the dumps because you sit at home all day playing on the computer watching Ada. Why? Why don't you call FAFSA and see what's up? Why don't you have Jake take you places to get a job and have your mom and Moriah fill out those daycare forms? Why don't you try to do something to make yourself happy in the long-run instead of something that is a temporary fix? I only say half of this shit because its time for someone to come out with the truth. Evidently no one will because you ignore it all, but here it is. Do something with your life. Get a man in your life who is willing to be behind you the whole way. One who isn't getting drunk with you every night and trying to get into your pants. You had a great guy in your life until you decided to go back to your old ways. Yea, I wasn't the GREATEST of them all, but I loved you completely and there was no question about it. I would back you in things you did and most of all, I cared for and loved your daughter like she was my very own. Remember the day I came over and sat on the chair, and Ada came and hugged me after you left me and I just started sobbing? Yea, what does that tell you. I miss you two alot, but you don't care because you are in a rut of your own and don't care about anything else once again. You think, "Oh, he'll get over me and go find someone else." The one day I was talking to Stephanie about us I said something and she said, "Now that's true love." Yes, it was true love. It may still be true love. I don't have my doubts that deep down in your heart you still love me as much as you used to, but you're covering it up now and misconstrewing it for stupidity and being annoying. So here you go, reality, check, I really love you and Ada, I really miss you and Ada. I wish I could be with you again to show you the way. What is the way you ask? I want to show you the way back to get on course again and start going to school, working, and being a well rounded person. But oh well, thing is, you won't get back with me. You won't let me see Ada. You won't let me talk to you. You're certainly rude to me all the time. So here you go. Later.
In the past few weeks you've been changing dramatically. I don't mean changing as in be a being mean, cold, or whatever you want to call it to me. I mean, you go back to the friends you had before. You go back to getting drunk all the time, but this time, you've got a two year old to take care of. Thing you fail to realize is that I do love you and Ada very very much, but there is only so much one person can take, and you have pushed me to that limit. When will you realize that you are the only one who can fix your life? When will you get off your feet and do something for yourself? I'm not trying to be insulting, but honestly, I personally want you to succeed in life wether or not you're my friend, girlfriend, fiancé, or nothing. I want you to make an impact in the world like you say you want to do. I want you to go to school again. I want you to be successful and give Ada a great life since I'm not longer able to do so because I'm not allowed to see her like you promised I would be. Maybe you should for once try to stop partying and stop trying to please your friends and do something for your life. Yea, this comes off as rude, but honestly, you get down in the dumps because you sit at home all day playing on the computer watching Ada. Why? Why don't you call FAFSA and see what's up? Why don't you have Jake take you places to get a job and have your mom and Moriah fill out those daycare forms? Why don't you try to do something to make yourself happy in the long-run instead of something that is a temporary fix? I only say half of this shit because its time for someone to come out with the truth. Evidently no one will because you ignore it all, but here it is. Do something with your life. Get a man in your life who is willing to be behind you the whole way. One who isn't getting drunk with you every night and trying to get into your pants. You had a great guy in your life until you decided to go back to your old ways. Yea, I wasn't the GREATEST of them all, but I loved you completely and there was no question about it. I would back you in things you did and most of all, I cared for and loved your daughter like she was my very own. Remember the day I came over and sat on the chair, and Ada came and hugged me after you left me and I just started sobbing? Yea, what does that tell you. I miss you two alot, but you don't care because you are in a rut of your own and don't care about anything else once again. You think, "Oh, he'll get over me and go find someone else." The one day I was talking to Stephanie about us I said something and she said, "Now that's true love." Yes, it was true love. It may still be true love. I don't have my doubts that deep down in your heart you still love me as much as you used to, but you're covering it up now and misconstrewing it for stupidity and being annoying. So here you go, reality, check, I really love you and Ada, I really miss you and Ada. I wish I could be with you again to show you the way. What is the way you ask? I want to show you the way back to get on course again and start going to school, working, and being a well rounded person. But oh well, thing is, you won't get back with me. You won't let me see Ada. You won't let me talk to you. You're certainly rude to me all the time. So here you go. Later.