(no subject)
this should not hurt this much,but it does.me,my mom,and leslie all sat on the carport and had a discussion about scott,and i could not help but to turn away cause i was about to cry.i don't even know him anymore.these fifteen year old girl's that call him every effin' day can't be good.it just can't,esspecially since they are all known to be easy.why is it the one person you think you know is the one person you know the least about? i spent 6 years with him.shared the same bedroom.hung out every day.then when we came here,he changed,into someone i thought i still somewhat knew.but i dont know him anymore.i havent seen him in two days as of today.this is another one of his go away for a week and dont contact anyone things.i hate when he does this.he pays more attention to his fucking hoes then he does to his family,sure alot of shit goes on in this house,that doesnt give him the right to run away from it.he never used to lie to me.now he does.what is wrong with him? he tells me "my homeboy's over." when he's locked in a room with erica.keep in mind,ericas a no good druggie and slut who everyone in this house [but my father,go figure] can not stand.
we all tryed to help him.giving him a house.but he doesnt go to work.leighanne filed for child support again,she bullshitted half of the papers,sure,id be pissed,but that doesnt mean just give up.
my parents are about to chop eachothers heads off.my mom litterally said "i can not stand your father." lovely,last time she said that she ran off with another guy for a week.dads bitching at me cause she said that she felt bad after i talked to her about a party and said i can do something,dad on the other hand said no.he also told me today "you owe me money for getting your permit." ... then he takes money from me every morning cause he doesnt feel like going to the bank.pays me back and takes it right back not even an hour later.but i ask for too much? its usually my money i use.not his.he bitches that $330 is too much for a class ring,thats what he said he expected to pay,and he swears i have to pay for the ring.
just fucking shut up for once.stop all the fighting.stop the disappearing.fucking get along.the most settle conversation we had tonight was about when joey first has sex he has to tell my parents.what the fuck.every night all everyone talks about is sex.sex.sex.okay,i get it,sex isnt a bad thing,but when you fucking talk about it every night at the dinner table along with condoms and oral sex,instead of more important shit,is that our fault?no.dads going to be pissed at me cause i have an "F" in math,once again ignoring the 6 effin "A"s i have.im bad in math he even said so himself,so why does he tell me i need to stop being stupid and that maths easy cause he liked it and passed it.im not you father.so shut up.
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this will hurt me less and less,everytime until i feel nothing.