a funeral, a conservative club, underage girls, white rappers n a stolen squrking partridge...
Oooooooooooo, no sleep yesterday and allot of drinking and herbalizing sent me spawling to sleep last night just before 9 after i got back. funeral was horrible as usual, but allot of people held there nerve, allot of carl's friends came along. take my hat off to simon who kept his nerve together only looking like he was crying towards the end carrying the coffin out, his speech was brilliant, and even mentioned cheese and onion sandwhiches, rap music and the lot of us all busting rhymes in jimmy's place. you can imagine the few sniggers...
we congregated outside afterwards where all 40 of us sparked up a cigarette at the same time, there was only one suggestion being passed around, and it wasn't going to the crematorium.
weatherspoons here we come...
soon as we got to the rat n parrot, we all proceeded to get wrecked. little Jess was there from before, i should say little but she ain't, to look at her you'd think she was 18, 19ish. the bloody girl is 15 years old going on 20 and you wouldn't believe it. after simon introduced me to her in the micra while we were down pill trying to score, she amazingly enough asked to have a kiss off me before she went, apparently this was a very normal thing between 'her' mates. as i had just met her, didn't know her age, i thought nothing of it, she kissed me on the lips, licked um and fucked off. after that i was always a little hesitant to meet her again after finding out her age, felt really wrong. being kissed is great, they are free, make yah feel good, and why the fuck not eh ? black girls, what it is with um, they just got the softest lips ! telling yah ladies, feel like going lesbian for a session, pick a black chick, trust!
but asides from the 'fairy' fabric softener factor, it was still off putting, i felt like a young looking dirty old man! i didn't think too much into it apart from that though, yah know it was the last time we met and that was that. but having her a pue infront of me at the funeral was enough to wonder if she was gonna hang with us drinking afterwards.
she did.
it's creepy, you look at her next to me, you'd think she was older, it's quite funny. so after getting the drinks in at weatherspoons the lot of us dominated the corner and continued to make much noise, everyone kinda paired off into groups and started talking and me and jess got chin wagging a bit, i could totally tell she was into simon, now this was ok, still a bit freaky, simon's 18 and looks about 25, jess is 15 looks about 19, and i'm 22 looking about 17.
i got up to get another drink and noticed the end of a buzzing in my pocket. looking at my phone i'd had a missed call off an unknown number;
*calls back*
Voice: "hello the computer shop"
Ben: "hello i just had a missed call from this number, sorry did lloyd just make a call ?"
Voice: "uh no, actually it was i. my names John i'm the new newport based store manager, i was going through a few CV's i have here, and saw yours, was wondering if you were free for a quick chat at all ?"
now after the last interview down there, which i don't think actually qualified as one, i wasn't really game for another especially half cut in my local weathers...
Ben: "well to be perfectly honest, i wasn't exactly ach'ing to hear from you guys after my last experience for an interview down there, total waste of my time"
Voice: "yes i understand, i must apologise for that, and the lateness in calling you back, but i can assure you i am in charge now and i'm a good thing down here at the store!"
*thinks* "funny fucker eh..."
Ben: "well unfortunatly i've just come out of a funeral and i'm in the middle of weatherspoons, you free tomorrow ?"
Voice: "yes tomorrows fine"
Ben: "any particular time ?"
Voice: "no i'll be here all day, just pop in"
Ben: "oky doke, i'll see you then John, thanks very much for the call"
Voice: "see you tomorrow, bye"
OKY DOKY ?! i thought to myself, jesus, blown that one already. but i was half cut...
after weatherspoons we all went off to the shaftesbury conservatives club for cheap drinks (if anyone wonders why), in there we played much pool, ate much food, and such. a load of us spent sometime sitting down talking about carl before we all got really drunk, pete, timmy, simon, jason, dazzler, martin, dan and i all just sat there quite motionless for a while. time for spliffs. the lot of us went outside followed by joey, chink and my new found friend 'whiskey' or (liam) from the other room. we all blazed up and that's when i noticed jess again, dazzler came up to me and informed me that my quick tongue and retarded personality had attracted jess and she was game, i was fucking gutted. twas the worst news i'd had in 4 minutes since jimmy had pasted my ass all over the pool room. there was this stunning girl, amazing body'd girl digging me of all people, twas in my element, but knowing her age just made me feel so shitty, looking over at simon and knowing that he could and i couldn't was the ice'ing on the cake. i remember thinking to myself, i hate looking this small.
we proceeded into the other room of the club where the pool table and jukebox was, party on. everyone were hip hoppers so the tunes we stuck straight on, everyone proceeded to get down. once the beat had kicked in there was only one retarded thing for me and jimmy to do. battle. the worst part of the funeral day unfolded, two of the skinnyest white boys in the room were the only ones willing to fight it out, and jimmy KICKING MY ASS. yeah, i haven't had my ass kicked like that before, especially by him. we've battled maybe 3 or 4 times before, but he really whooped me good this time. we spat for about 10 minutes, i was doing well until jimmy pulled out an individual diss on me comparing me to pengelly across the table, that was that i called it a day;
"i ain't even gonna bother rapping this beat with you no more, your lips r spitting too much venom and my ass is heading for tha door..."
*walks out to smoke up*
0wned.
after that i felt like shit, something as childish and immature as busting a few rhymes had put me in a bad spin out session. jess was walking around the place after a few drinks looking a little tipsy, playful and by this time was all over me whenever i walked outside sporting big joey's newly labelled 'pimp' coat. i had only brought about £10 with me to the funeral, i had no idea we'd all go off and get slaughtered and i thought i'd pushed simons generosity as it was, time to go, i announced i was off, said my goodbyes and tried to buggar off, jess followed me out and she was doing that really annoying wrap her arms around the waist manevure so it's really hard for me to walk away thing, turning my hips in a motion to turn me around to inevitably kiss me, why else is your ass sporting a half crop top outside in the middle of winter without a coat on ?! does the term 3 degree celcius mean anything to you ?
she did manage to turn me around and before either of us had a chance to do that horrible look into each others eyes, i looked over her right shoulder, gave her a hug "awwwww, see you soon babe"
...that was that. i made a move off to home along the dual carrage way, i dislike taking the normal roads, there's something very eerie about walking along a motorway, almost peaceful in the midst of choas :)
that's about it, i passed out on my bed at 'bout 9. no sleep the night before, do yah blame me ?!
.b
* - couldn't be arsed with spell checking
we congregated outside afterwards where all 40 of us sparked up a cigarette at the same time, there was only one suggestion being passed around, and it wasn't going to the crematorium.
weatherspoons here we come...
soon as we got to the rat n parrot, we all proceeded to get wrecked. little Jess was there from before, i should say little but she ain't, to look at her you'd think she was 18, 19ish. the bloody girl is 15 years old going on 20 and you wouldn't believe it. after simon introduced me to her in the micra while we were down pill trying to score, she amazingly enough asked to have a kiss off me before she went, apparently this was a very normal thing between 'her' mates. as i had just met her, didn't know her age, i thought nothing of it, she kissed me on the lips, licked um and fucked off. after that i was always a little hesitant to meet her again after finding out her age, felt really wrong. being kissed is great, they are free, make yah feel good, and why the fuck not eh ? black girls, what it is with um, they just got the softest lips ! telling yah ladies, feel like going lesbian for a session, pick a black chick, trust!
but asides from the 'fairy' fabric softener factor, it was still off putting, i felt like a young looking dirty old man! i didn't think too much into it apart from that though, yah know it was the last time we met and that was that. but having her a pue infront of me at the funeral was enough to wonder if she was gonna hang with us drinking afterwards.
she did.
it's creepy, you look at her next to me, you'd think she was older, it's quite funny. so after getting the drinks in at weatherspoons the lot of us dominated the corner and continued to make much noise, everyone kinda paired off into groups and started talking and me and jess got chin wagging a bit, i could totally tell she was into simon, now this was ok, still a bit freaky, simon's 18 and looks about 25, jess is 15 looks about 19, and i'm 22 looking about 17.
i got up to get another drink and noticed the end of a buzzing in my pocket. looking at my phone i'd had a missed call off an unknown number;
*calls back*
Voice: "hello the computer shop"
Ben: "hello i just had a missed call from this number, sorry did lloyd just make a call ?"
Voice: "uh no, actually it was i. my names John i'm the new newport based store manager, i was going through a few CV's i have here, and saw yours, was wondering if you were free for a quick chat at all ?"
now after the last interview down there, which i don't think actually qualified as one, i wasn't really game for another especially half cut in my local weathers...
Ben: "well to be perfectly honest, i wasn't exactly ach'ing to hear from you guys after my last experience for an interview down there, total waste of my time"
Voice: "yes i understand, i must apologise for that, and the lateness in calling you back, but i can assure you i am in charge now and i'm a good thing down here at the store!"
*thinks* "funny fucker eh..."
Ben: "well unfortunatly i've just come out of a funeral and i'm in the middle of weatherspoons, you free tomorrow ?"
Voice: "yes tomorrows fine"
Ben: "any particular time ?"
Voice: "no i'll be here all day, just pop in"
Ben: "oky doke, i'll see you then John, thanks very much for the call"
Voice: "see you tomorrow, bye"
OKY DOKY ?! i thought to myself, jesus, blown that one already. but i was half cut...
after weatherspoons we all went off to the shaftesbury conservatives club for cheap drinks (if anyone wonders why), in there we played much pool, ate much food, and such. a load of us spent sometime sitting down talking about carl before we all got really drunk, pete, timmy, simon, jason, dazzler, martin, dan and i all just sat there quite motionless for a while. time for spliffs. the lot of us went outside followed by joey, chink and my new found friend 'whiskey' or (liam) from the other room. we all blazed up and that's when i noticed jess again, dazzler came up to me and informed me that my quick tongue and retarded personality had attracted jess and she was game, i was fucking gutted. twas the worst news i'd had in 4 minutes since jimmy had pasted my ass all over the pool room. there was this stunning girl, amazing body'd girl digging me of all people, twas in my element, but knowing her age just made me feel so shitty, looking over at simon and knowing that he could and i couldn't was the ice'ing on the cake. i remember thinking to myself, i hate looking this small.
we proceeded into the other room of the club where the pool table and jukebox was, party on. everyone were hip hoppers so the tunes we stuck straight on, everyone proceeded to get down. once the beat had kicked in there was only one retarded thing for me and jimmy to do. battle. the worst part of the funeral day unfolded, two of the skinnyest white boys in the room were the only ones willing to fight it out, and jimmy KICKING MY ASS. yeah, i haven't had my ass kicked like that before, especially by him. we've battled maybe 3 or 4 times before, but he really whooped me good this time. we spat for about 10 minutes, i was doing well until jimmy pulled out an individual diss on me comparing me to pengelly across the table, that was that i called it a day;
"i ain't even gonna bother rapping this beat with you no more, your lips r spitting too much venom and my ass is heading for tha door..."
*walks out to smoke up*
0wned.
after that i felt like shit, something as childish and immature as busting a few rhymes had put me in a bad spin out session. jess was walking around the place after a few drinks looking a little tipsy, playful and by this time was all over me whenever i walked outside sporting big joey's newly labelled 'pimp' coat. i had only brought about £10 with me to the funeral, i had no idea we'd all go off and get slaughtered and i thought i'd pushed simons generosity as it was, time to go, i announced i was off, said my goodbyes and tried to buggar off, jess followed me out and she was doing that really annoying wrap her arms around the waist manevure so it's really hard for me to walk away thing, turning my hips in a motion to turn me around to inevitably kiss me, why else is your ass sporting a half crop top outside in the middle of winter without a coat on ?! does the term 3 degree celcius mean anything to you ?
she did manage to turn me around and before either of us had a chance to do that horrible look into each others eyes, i looked over her right shoulder, gave her a hug "awwwww, see you soon babe"
...that was that. i made a move off to home along the dual carrage way, i dislike taking the normal roads, there's something very eerie about walking along a motorway, almost peaceful in the midst of choas :)
that's about it, i passed out on my bed at 'bout 9. no sleep the night before, do yah blame me ?!
.b
* - couldn't be arsed with spell checking