(no subject)
There is no way I can ever, ever, express how truly sorry I am, or how I really feel, or what I really think. Because in all honesty, I don't know. But I'm afraid that this really will be it, and I don't want it to be. That's not fair. But it's how I feel. I am immature, vice-ridden, increadibly silly and unable to cope with reality sometimes. And right now, reality is kicking my ass. I don't even know if you'll read this. Or the longer, more drawn out explanation. I didn't write that for you, but this...this is. I can't let it go, and I can't stop wondering, or hating myself, or doing the very things I hate myself for. I just hope that, someday, you'll understand, forgive me, and that we can move past who I am now. I hope that, by then, I'll be a better person. A person who really deserves you.