insomnia...
I can't sleep anymore, but it's not because of what's under the bed or
in the closet. We're all inclined to fear the unknown and
unfamiliar. We're hot-wired to be apprehensive about
change. Strange how, while it seems like the rest of the world
(or, at least, the rest of the LHS junior class) is xenophobic, I'm
going all "Sleepless in Seattle" because I'm terrified that
everything's going to stay the same. I'm scared that when I wake
up I won't want to get out of bed because I can't think of anything
worth the effort. And I could name a plethora of reasons right
now, but I haven't been inspired in so long, and I crave
inspiration. I miss feeling motivated. So usually this time of year is exhilarating for me -- new beginnings.
That's what we're always trying to do, right? Everyone seems to love starting over. A clean slate and all that. Sharpened pencils and a locker that's actually not a disaster area. So why is it that nothing seems to be changing? As far as I can tell, junior year is going to be a carbon copy of sophomore year, just slightly more academically challenging.
Everyone seems stagnant. Unmoving. I mean there's no MOVEMENT. How can we as members of the human race stand still for so long? It's just, in my opinion, sixteen year olds should theoretically be more mature than the microcosmic public building in which we are incarcerated daily for the purpose of secondary education (aka high school). But on account of the fact that the government demands that we spend another two years in this -- depending on how you look at it, I suppose -- festering hellhole, we are caught, imprisoned, like wax statues, in the same phase of emotional maturity as thirteen year olds. I mean, the only way we seem to differ from our middle school counterparts is in that we no longer TyPe LiKe tHiS.
But think about it. Most of us can drive. Most of us have jobs. Some of us even have our own ATM cards and saving/checking accounts. If our maturity is determined by milestones in life, we should be way ahead of thirteen, fourteen, even fifteen year olds.
And yet we still slide into the same petty behaviors. Like these girls I encountered today in junior hall, saving lockers for their friends who hadn't bothered to show up and get a number yet, and telling me brattily that they were taken, aka you-are-not-important-enough-go-away. And I can think of at least three other more severe examples at the moment, but I'll preserve the anonymity of those involved.
I won't apologize for not liking high school. And I won't apologize for resorting to cynicism about my generation because I cannot, for the life of me, understand why teenagers can be so selfish and self-absorbed and, for lack of a better word, bitchy.
Because I don't think it's our fault. I think our problem is that we are forced to spend six hours a day, five days a week crammed into one building for the better part of the year, for a total of thirteen years. I don't have an answer for how the conditions under which we receive an education could be improved.
I just wish that I had something to look forward to besides the academics this year.
That's what we're always trying to do, right? Everyone seems to love starting over. A clean slate and all that. Sharpened pencils and a locker that's actually not a disaster area. So why is it that nothing seems to be changing? As far as I can tell, junior year is going to be a carbon copy of sophomore year, just slightly more academically challenging.
Everyone seems stagnant. Unmoving. I mean there's no MOVEMENT. How can we as members of the human race stand still for so long? It's just, in my opinion, sixteen year olds should theoretically be more mature than the microcosmic public building in which we are incarcerated daily for the purpose of secondary education (aka high school). But on account of the fact that the government demands that we spend another two years in this -- depending on how you look at it, I suppose -- festering hellhole, we are caught, imprisoned, like wax statues, in the same phase of emotional maturity as thirteen year olds. I mean, the only way we seem to differ from our middle school counterparts is in that we no longer TyPe LiKe tHiS.
But think about it. Most of us can drive. Most of us have jobs. Some of us even have our own ATM cards and saving/checking accounts. If our maturity is determined by milestones in life, we should be way ahead of thirteen, fourteen, even fifteen year olds.
And yet we still slide into the same petty behaviors. Like these girls I encountered today in junior hall, saving lockers for their friends who hadn't bothered to show up and get a number yet, and telling me brattily that they were taken, aka you-are-not-important-enough-go-away. And I can think of at least three other more severe examples at the moment, but I'll preserve the anonymity of those involved.
I won't apologize for not liking high school. And I won't apologize for resorting to cynicism about my generation because I cannot, for the life of me, understand why teenagers can be so selfish and self-absorbed and, for lack of a better word, bitchy.
Because I don't think it's our fault. I think our problem is that we are forced to spend six hours a day, five days a week crammed into one building for the better part of the year, for a total of thirteen years. I don't have an answer for how the conditions under which we receive an education could be improved.
I just wish that I had something to look forward to besides the academics this year.