(no subject)
there are certain things in life i can accept without hesitation; the fact that most of the time it's hard to find two socks that are the same, the fact that i'll never know what missy elliot says in 'work it' (im refferring to "its your plmninpiiplan?? yet" I can even accept the fact that people break up, i can accept that most of the time you fall in love only to painfully fall out of it. I always prepare myself for the worst but am suprisingly shocked when it actually comes true. I kid myself to the point of dreaming. And I get by with this mentality, and I think I'm relatively okay. I've never murdered or abused anybody, i haven't formed major life changing addictions; and For the most part I am happy. I prepare for everything, I prepared for New Years, and being a lone, I prepared myself for thinking about you in those lonely minutes... that loney countdown. And I swear in that moment time ceased to exist, and all of the shiney sequened outfits dancing around celebrating hushed by in slow motion. I only saw smiling faces; I couldn't hear anything, and for a split second, you were truely the only thing on my mind. I prepared myself for the text i would send you, and I even mentally prepared myself for what would happen if you responded. I was so busy preparing myself for these useless, uncertain things, that i abscentmindedly didn't prepare for what would happen if you didn't answer. For what would happen if you were out having the time of your life. I wasn't prepared for what would happen if I wasn't your life anymore, and I can't help but think I never was. Life is moving along so quickly; it's forcing me to move a long with it. I cannot for one second deny that it bothers me, that you're with her. But a tiny part of me has gratitude that it happened so quickly, that now I'm forced to just get over it. Because sometimes, it's alright to be alone. And sometimes, you wake up and know that everything is going to be okay. And sometimes, you really do wish the best for the person that used to be your world, sometimes you have to just let go. I'm just going to miss my best friend.