296 Ways to Seduce a Teacher: Ch. 9
Title: 296 Ways to Seduce a Teacher
Author: _demonsblade_
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Rating: R
Genre: AU, romance, drama, angst, fluff, humor
Warning: Slash, mild chanslash (6-year diff.), boy/man snogging, boy/man sexual situations, mild violence, strong language
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: All characters © J.K. Rowling
Summary: AU. Remus has been hired to tutor the Black heir, Sirius. But it seems Sirius has a few things to teach him, as well. Can this possibly the start of a friendship...or something more? And what will happen if the Blacks find out?
Teaser:
He opened his mouth to protest, to say something-anything-in his defense. But the heat of Sirius’s gaze coupled with a warm touch of a hand on his shoulder caused the words to become lodged somewhere in the back of his throat, never to see the light of day. He hurriedly shrugged the hand away, not because he didn’t enjoy the touch, but because he did.
And that scared him.
If you haven't read the previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8
Dear James (and Peter if you’re there),
You have no idea how glad I was to get your letter! So much has happened since term ended last year that I really don’t know where to start. It’d be a lot easier to tell you face-to-face, but I know there’s no way that could happen. If only we’d finished those two-way mirrors…
Anyway, I guess the best way to tell you is to start at the beginning. As soon as we got home from King’s Cross, my mother went into a complete rage, saying the usual crap-that I’m a filthy, sodomizing blood-traitor who wasn’t fit to wipe shit from her shoes. Then they locked me in the basement and took away my wand and owl. My father even put protections on the house so that unknown owls couldn’t deliver mail-or at least, not to me.
After a month they finally let me out of the room and told me that I wasn’t going back to Hogwarts. They said they’d put Regulus in Durmstrang, and I thought they’d send me there, too. But it seems they don’t trust me to keep my hands off the merchandise in a male-dominated school. So they hired a private tutor for me. Thank god that it turned out to be one of Dumbledore’s men. I know that the news of my being a “sodomizing slut” has reached many of my father’s acquaintances. To tell the truth, I’m sure anyone my parents would have found would have either been disgusted with me or would have tried to get into my pants (which, even if that happened, they would get away with because my parents wouldn’t believe me over them). And on top of that, the tutor would have probably been a Death Eater or at least a Voldemort supporter.
But the tutor actually turned out to be a bloke who was at Hogwarts with us. Remus Lupin-you remember him? He was Head Boy when me and Peter were in first year. Oh, god. I really want to tell you about him…but it feels really weird to say it in a letter. Let’s just say that we’ve managed to become really good friends. Things happened. And not all bad, either. I know what you’re thinking-and I thought so, too. But he’s engaged. To Lily Evans.
That brings me to the other thing that happened. You already know that I ran away from home. Well, it was really because something happened between me and Remus, and Kreacher (our house elf) blabbed. My dad tried to cover it up by forbidding Kreacher to tell my mum. He dug up some background info on Lupin and fired him on the account that he was a halfblood. But somehow Kreacher caught me talking in my sleep (about Remus) and told my mum. You should’ve seen the fight afterwards. I was sure the old hag was going to spontaneously combust. Finally I told my dad I was going, and he didn’t even try to stop me. Seemed glad to be rid of me, to tell the truth. Now he has one perfect son and heir to fawn over.
So I walked out and ended up in Muggle London. Then I met this wizard who owned a Muggle pub, so I went there. I know-stupid thing to do. I got drugged and attacked and if it weren’t for Lily (Evans), I would’ve been in deep shit. She was at the bar apparently (disguised as a man, no less-Remus wouldn’t tell me what that was about). She brought me to Remus’s and I’m supposed to stay here for a while. I don’t think I’ll be coming back to Hogwarts this year, but I think I’ll probably be living either here or at your parents’ house.
That’s basically where I’m at right now. I haven’t yet gotten Eric’s letter, but if he’s really sorry I think I might consider giving him another chance. (And while we’re on the topic, I must implore you to please refrain from decapitating him until I decide whether I want him around or not.) I know he’s not your most favorite person in the world, but he was fun to be around. And what with Remus-well, I just don’t know what to do right now. What would you do?
Congratulations on making Head Boy. Can’t help but say that I think the title would’ve better suited me, what with my “head” prowess and all, but I’m proud of you all the same.
Sirius
P.S. Do you think you could send me that photo you have of the party after last year’s Quidditch Cup? The one with you, me, Pete, and Eric? You know, the one where we’re drunk and Eric has his hand on my arse?
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Four days had passed since Sirius’s introduction to Lily. Four miserable days of averted glances and embarrassed blushes. Four days in which Sirius walked around with a choked feeling of hopeless mourning for the death of a relationship that had never existed in the first place.
Every time he saw Remus his heart would clog up with an inexpressible sorrow and there would be a sick twisting in the pit of his stomach. The only reason he got through it at all was thanks to his mask of apathy-a forced veneer of frigid indifference that he had thought he would never again have to employ. The aching hole in his heart seemed insurmountable. But if he didn’t feel, he couldn’t hurt. And so he shut himself off, shrugged off Remus’s overtures of friendship, tuned out the lessons that had again resumed, and forced himself not to feel.
But there were also times when he felt not only sadness but an indescribable anger. Anger at Remus for making him feel all these things, from the flutterings in his stomach whenever he saw his teacher to the shivers that ran through his body with every touch to the all-consuming grief he felt right before he closed his eyes at night.
It was Remus’s fault. Remus’s fault that Sirius was so attracted to him. Sirius knew it wasn’t true. But blaming Remus was better than blaming himself-which only increased his distress. As long as it was Remus’s fault, the anger Sirius could rightfully feel helped to mask out the sadness.
He wanted to hurt him. He wanted to make Remus feel what he, Sirius, was feeling. Or at least, he wanted Remus to know that he had someone, too.
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Dear Sirius,
Wow. I never knew so much happened. At least you’re all right. I can’t believe your parents did that to you. My mum’s been really worried about you. I told her some of the stuff, but not all of it. If she knew that they locked you up for a month, she’d probably go straight to the Minister of Magic. And that certainly wouldn’t help the situation, I don’t think. I’m really sorry about that your parents disowned you.
And why the hell did you go with that wizard to the pub? Of all the stupid things you ever did, that’s got to be right up there at number one.
It completely bites that you aren’t coming back to Hogwarts. Is Lupin going to keep teaching you, then?
And about Lupin-did you know Peter’s dating his cousin (Romula Abbott, I think her name is)? Anyway, he asked her and she said that she didn’t know Lupin was even dating anyone, much less engaged. As far as she knows, Lily Evans is a former classmate and friend. Make of that what you will.
By the way, I’m never giving you that picture. I don’t know what you plan to do with it, but I’m sure it’s something extremely stupid that you’ll regret later. I won’t give it to you until you can prove to me that Lupin’s engagement is real.
I’m working on the two-way mirrors. I think I’m close to finishing the charms. I’ll owl you one when they’re done.
Eric is an idiot. Period. You asked me what I’d do. I already told you. I’d decapitate him. I don’t know Lupin, but it sounds like you really like him. And in any case, he can’t be any worse than Eric, right? But he is six years older than you. So be careful, okay? I don’t want you getting hurt again. And yes, I realize I sound like an overprotective mother hen when I say that.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Okay…let me rephrase that. Don’t do anything stupid.
James
P.S. I really didn’t need to know about your “head” prowess. Eugh.
P.P.S. Has Lupin discovered your “head” prowess? Oh, god. Don’t even answer that. Forget I asked.
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Sirius smiled as he read through James’s letter for the sixth time that day. Seeing the tiny, scrawled writing that Peter had once called “chicken scratch” always brought him a sense of peace.
But one sentence from the letter stuck with him, the words reverberating inside his head like a mantra-or a broken track record.
“As far as she knows, Lily Evans is a former classmate and friend.”
But, thought Sirius, wouldn’t word get around his family that he’s engaged? But if he wasn’t, then why would he lie?
Just as he thought the question, an answer formed in the back recesses of his mind. Because you’re underage, whispered a voice in his mind-a voice that, funnily enough, sounded a lot like Remus. He doesn’t want to get entangled in an affair with an underage pupil. Can you blame him?
Despite himself, Sirius felt the faint fluttering of something akin to hope in his stomach. Or maybe that was just the pork casserole Remus had made for dinner…
Either way, Sirius wasn’t giving up so easily. James’s letter had injected a new bout of determination into him.
It was time for phase two of O.S.T. (Operation Seduce the Teacher).
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Remus was wrapping up his lesson plans for the next day when Sirius walked into the study clutching two mugs of steaming tea. The aroma of tea leaves and herbs enticed Remus enough to make him push aside his notes, rest his quill in its stand, screw his ink bottle shut, and walk over to join Sirius in the sofa by the fire.
Well, this is new, he mused to himself. Ever since the Incident, as he had taken to calling it in his mind, Sirius had seemed withdrawn. There was always a mask of calm on the boy’s face, underneath which, Remus could tell, there swirled a myriad of bloody wounds, both old and new. But from Sirius’s current countenance, Remus knew that this was one of the few times when the mask was gone, revealing Sirius Black in all his emotional vulnerability.
Sirius offered him a cup, which he accepted with a smile.
“Thanks,” he said, ignoring the way their hands brushed for a second too long as the cup was passed. “I didn’t know you could make tea.”
“I can cook, too,” said Sirius, leaning back and sipping his tea. His tone was light, but the smile at his lips didn’t reach his eyes, which were sad and heavy like the sky before a storm. “During the summers after my first few years at Hogwarts, I used to spend a lot of time in the kitchens with the House Elves.”
Remus didn’t respond; he could tell by that hardness of Sirius’s eyes that this was a difficult subject for him. Sirius would continue if he wanted to. As tempted as he was, Remus didn’t want to push the issue, even though he knew it would help him understand his pupil better.
“My parents were upset that I had been sorted into Gryffindor,” Sirius went on after a pause, staring unseeingly into the fire, the tea cupped in his lap. “They were worried about the kinds of friends I’d make. My mother recruited my cousins Bellatrix and Narcissa and later Regulus-my little brother-to spy on me.” Sirius raised the cup to his lips but didn’t take a sip. “When she found out that I was friends with a blood traitor and a halfblood, she freaked.”
“Is that why they pulled you out of school?” Remus asked cautiously.
To his surprise, Sirius chuckled and shook his head.
“No…no. It wasn’t that at all. It was”-Sirius suddenly turned and gave him a sharp look-“something else…something else entirely.”
“Oh.” Remus found it hard to say anything else under the penetrating stare. He didn’t know why Sirius was telling him this. But all the same, he didn’t sense an ulterior motive, so he welcomed the chance to get to know more about his student.
Only now did he notice the way the firelight reflected off the angles of Sirius’s face, softening his features and making him look much younger and more beautiful. Gray eyes swirled with the liquid blaze of echoed fire. A pregnant silence stretched before them like a fathomless desert, broken only by the slow cackling of the fire and their own labored breaths, their heartbeats seamlessly merging until it was impossible to tell which rhythm was whose.
Sirius was watching him intently, and from the expression on the boy’s face, Remus could tell he was waiting for him to say something. The problem was that Remus’s mouth was altogether too dry to speak. His tongue felt like a ton-heavy boulder, useless and suffocating inside the furnace of his mouth. The pork casserole seemed to have struck up an impromptu polka band in his stomach. He instinctively licked his lips and saw Sirius do the same. Sirius seemed to be on the verge of leaning forward…
Then Remus blinked, and the moment was gone, lost forever to the vast abyss of memory never to be spoken of again.
Sirius stood, avoiding his gaze, and took both their cups to the kitchen. Remus watched the fire, lost in a reverie. Only the sinking of the sofa cushion alerted him to Sirius’s return. They didn’t meet each other’s eyes for a long time, but when they did, it was bold, as if by a tacit agreement to pretend that the moment had not occurred at all.
“Do you mind if I ask you a question, Professor? It’s a little personal.”
“Not at all,” said Remus. He regretted the invitation as soon as Sirius’s eyes lit up with a sparkle of mischief-a sparkle that was hastily covered up with a blank expression, but not before Remus had caught it.
“Does your family know about you and Lily?”
The question caught Remus off guard so much that for a moment he simply stared dumbly at Sirius. Sirius raised a sardonic eyebrow, obviously awaiting his answer.
Remus cleared his throat, his heart thudding loudly. “Oh, yeah. Of course. Why wouldn’t they know?” he said, hating that his voice was much too high.
Sirius nodded. Remus didn’t altogether like the smile that was pulling at the corner of the boy’s mouth.
“So how did you meet her?” Sirius asked innocently, tucking his hands behind his head and leaning back. “Lily, I mean.”
“We-we were in the same year at Hogwarts, both in Gryffindor,” he answered as calmly as he could. “We were always close friends, especially after…after second year.” He stole a quick glance at Sirius before continuing to address the hearthrug. “And then…er…after graduating we became even more close, and eventually we started dating and we decided to marry and…er…yeah.” Remus hated himself for stumbling and even more for not meeting Sirius’s eyes. He had always been a great liar, but there was something disarming in the way Sirius looked at him. It was as if he knew.
“And the…first kiss?” Sirius asked quietly.
Remus’s mind immediately flew to the memory of the day in the study, when Sirius had kissed him for the first time. The flush of his lips, the warmth of his skin, the succulence of his tongue. The images and feelings all flooded back to him with a force enough to make him waver with vertigo.
It took Remus a few seconds to realize that Sirius was probably referring to the supposed first kiss between himself and Lily, and even longer to realize that this was not an appropriate conversation for a teacher and pupil to have in the first place. Unfortunately, by the time he finished his moments of revelation, the instant in which he should have answered had passed, leaving in its wake only an awkward silence in the air and a triumphant smirk on Sirius’s face.
Remus felt a blush crawl up his neck, a blush that intensified rather painfully when Sirius threw back his head and laughed-outright laughed. He looked on with mounting confusion and unease, flushing to his roots.
And then, without warning, the laughter had died away and Sirius was so close to his face that it hurt to look at him. Bottomless gray eyes danced with a frenzied mixture of relief, mischief, and joy.
“Liar,” Sirius whispered, his hot, tea-stained breath taunting Remus with its flagrant flavor.
Remus felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. Sirius knew. Remus didn’t know how he knew, but he did. Sirius knew.
He opened his mouth to protest, to say something-anything-in his defense. But the heat of Sirius’s gaze coupled with a warm touch of a hand on his shoulder caused the words to become lodged somewhere in the back of his throat, never to see the light of day. He hurriedly shrugged the hand away, not because he didn’t enjoy the touch, but because he did.
And that scared him.
Just as he was starting to miss the feeling of the touch, Sirius stood abruptly, stretching like a cat.
“We should get to bed, don’t you think, Remus?” The tone of his voice would have been obscene if it weren’t for the expression of mock innocence on his face. He smirked, stretching with an air of casual sensuality that Remus felt should be outlawed. “You can have your bed back from now on. I’ll take the transfigured couch.”
Remus started to protest, but was effectively stunned into silence when Sirius oh-so-nonchalantly started unbuttoning his shirt.
“The fire makes it too warm,” he said by way of explanation, continuing to undo the buttons one by one and ignoring Remus’s scandalized expression.
Remus, for his part, was sure his face resembled an overripe tomato. He turned away to hide his all-too-obvious blush and was just starting to walk toward his own room when the sound of Sirius’s voice stopped him.
“Aren’t you going to transfigure the couch, Professor?”
He cautiously turned around, keeping his eyes trained on the floor, the wall-anywhere except the tantalizing column of pale skin that was Sirius’s naked torso. He muttered the spell, and didn’t even wait to see if the couch had successfully transfigured into a bed.
Remus all but ran to his room, and as he closed the door behind him, he could have sworn he heard Sirius mutter a mocking “Good night, Professor” from the living room.
He slowly changed into his pajamas and settled himself into the covers, reveling in the softness and comfort of his own bed. The problem was, it no longer smelled like his own bed. The bedclothes had absorbed Sirius’s distinct aroma. It filled Remus’s nostrils with such power that when he closed his eyes, he could almost feel Sirius curled up around his body. His skin tingled with the heat of the imagined touch and he shivered slightly. He turned onto his back and gazed ruefully at the waning orb of a moon just visible through the curtains of the window.
It wasn’t fair, he thought as he lay there, breathing in the scent that was Sirius. It was all so wrong and so right and so forbidden and so tempting and a world of contradictions all at the same time and he was his student but-dammit-so infernally attractive and it just wasn’t fair.
It just wasn’t fair.
Author's Notes: This is the last of my pre-written chapters. From now on, the chapters will appear just as I type them. So expect updates once a week or so. Sorry. No more two-day updates. But once a week isn't bad, right? I just want to make sure the chapters are as close to perfect as I can make them before I post it. Usually the updates will be on weekends (normally Sunday), so watch for them. That is all. :)
Chapter 10
Author: _demonsblade_
Pairing: Sirius/Remus
Rating: R
Genre: AU, romance, drama, angst, fluff, humor
Warning: Slash, mild chanslash (6-year diff.), boy/man snogging, boy/man sexual situations, mild violence, strong language
Spoilers: none
Disclaimer: All characters © J.K. Rowling
Summary: AU. Remus has been hired to tutor the Black heir, Sirius. But it seems Sirius has a few things to teach him, as well. Can this possibly the start of a friendship...or something more? And what will happen if the Blacks find out?
Teaser:
He opened his mouth to protest, to say something-anything-in his defense. But the heat of Sirius’s gaze coupled with a warm touch of a hand on his shoulder caused the words to become lodged somewhere in the back of his throat, never to see the light of day. He hurriedly shrugged the hand away, not because he didn’t enjoy the touch, but because he did.
And that scared him.
If you haven't read the previous chapters: Chapter 1, Chapter 2, Chapter 3, Chapter 4, Chapter 5, Chapter 6, Chapter 7, Chapter 8
Dear James (and Peter if you’re there),
You have no idea how glad I was to get your letter! So much has happened since term ended last year that I really don’t know where to start. It’d be a lot easier to tell you face-to-face, but I know there’s no way that could happen. If only we’d finished those two-way mirrors…
Anyway, I guess the best way to tell you is to start at the beginning. As soon as we got home from King’s Cross, my mother went into a complete rage, saying the usual crap-that I’m a filthy, sodomizing blood-traitor who wasn’t fit to wipe shit from her shoes. Then they locked me in the basement and took away my wand and owl. My father even put protections on the house so that unknown owls couldn’t deliver mail-or at least, not to me.
After a month they finally let me out of the room and told me that I wasn’t going back to Hogwarts. They said they’d put Regulus in Durmstrang, and I thought they’d send me there, too. But it seems they don’t trust me to keep my hands off the merchandise in a male-dominated school. So they hired a private tutor for me. Thank god that it turned out to be one of Dumbledore’s men. I know that the news of my being a “sodomizing slut” has reached many of my father’s acquaintances. To tell the truth, I’m sure anyone my parents would have found would have either been disgusted with me or would have tried to get into my pants (which, even if that happened, they would get away with because my parents wouldn’t believe me over them). And on top of that, the tutor would have probably been a Death Eater or at least a Voldemort supporter.
But the tutor actually turned out to be a bloke who was at Hogwarts with us. Remus Lupin-you remember him? He was Head Boy when me and Peter were in first year. Oh, god. I really want to tell you about him…but it feels really weird to say it in a letter. Let’s just say that we’ve managed to become really good friends. Things happened. And not all bad, either. I know what you’re thinking-and I thought so, too. But he’s engaged. To Lily Evans.
That brings me to the other thing that happened. You already know that I ran away from home. Well, it was really because something happened between me and Remus, and Kreacher (our house elf) blabbed. My dad tried to cover it up by forbidding Kreacher to tell my mum. He dug up some background info on Lupin and fired him on the account that he was a halfblood. But somehow Kreacher caught me talking in my sleep (about Remus) and told my mum. You should’ve seen the fight afterwards. I was sure the old hag was going to spontaneously combust. Finally I told my dad I was going, and he didn’t even try to stop me. Seemed glad to be rid of me, to tell the truth. Now he has one perfect son and heir to fawn over.
So I walked out and ended up in Muggle London. Then I met this wizard who owned a Muggle pub, so I went there. I know-stupid thing to do. I got drugged and attacked and if it weren’t for Lily (Evans), I would’ve been in deep shit. She was at the bar apparently (disguised as a man, no less-Remus wouldn’t tell me what that was about). She brought me to Remus’s and I’m supposed to stay here for a while. I don’t think I’ll be coming back to Hogwarts this year, but I think I’ll probably be living either here or at your parents’ house.
That’s basically where I’m at right now. I haven’t yet gotten Eric’s letter, but if he’s really sorry I think I might consider giving him another chance. (And while we’re on the topic, I must implore you to please refrain from decapitating him until I decide whether I want him around or not.) I know he’s not your most favorite person in the world, but he was fun to be around. And what with Remus-well, I just don’t know what to do right now. What would you do?
Congratulations on making Head Boy. Can’t help but say that I think the title would’ve better suited me, what with my “head” prowess and all, but I’m proud of you all the same.
Sirius
P.S. Do you think you could send me that photo you have of the party after last year’s Quidditch Cup? The one with you, me, Pete, and Eric? You know, the one where we’re drunk and Eric has his hand on my arse?
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Four days had passed since Sirius’s introduction to Lily. Four miserable days of averted glances and embarrassed blushes. Four days in which Sirius walked around with a choked feeling of hopeless mourning for the death of a relationship that had never existed in the first place.
Every time he saw Remus his heart would clog up with an inexpressible sorrow and there would be a sick twisting in the pit of his stomach. The only reason he got through it at all was thanks to his mask of apathy-a forced veneer of frigid indifference that he had thought he would never again have to employ. The aching hole in his heart seemed insurmountable. But if he didn’t feel, he couldn’t hurt. And so he shut himself off, shrugged off Remus’s overtures of friendship, tuned out the lessons that had again resumed, and forced himself not to feel.
But there were also times when he felt not only sadness but an indescribable anger. Anger at Remus for making him feel all these things, from the flutterings in his stomach whenever he saw his teacher to the shivers that ran through his body with every touch to the all-consuming grief he felt right before he closed his eyes at night.
It was Remus’s fault. Remus’s fault that Sirius was so attracted to him. Sirius knew it wasn’t true. But blaming Remus was better than blaming himself-which only increased his distress. As long as it was Remus’s fault, the anger Sirius could rightfully feel helped to mask out the sadness.
He wanted to hurt him. He wanted to make Remus feel what he, Sirius, was feeling. Or at least, he wanted Remus to know that he had someone, too.
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Dear Sirius,
Wow. I never knew so much happened. At least you’re all right. I can’t believe your parents did that to you. My mum’s been really worried about you. I told her some of the stuff, but not all of it. If she knew that they locked you up for a month, she’d probably go straight to the Minister of Magic. And that certainly wouldn’t help the situation, I don’t think. I’m really sorry about that your parents disowned you.
And why the hell did you go with that wizard to the pub? Of all the stupid things you ever did, that’s got to be right up there at number one.
It completely bites that you aren’t coming back to Hogwarts. Is Lupin going to keep teaching you, then?
And about Lupin-did you know Peter’s dating his cousin (Romula Abbott, I think her name is)? Anyway, he asked her and she said that she didn’t know Lupin was even dating anyone, much less engaged. As far as she knows, Lily Evans is a former classmate and friend. Make of that what you will.
By the way, I’m never giving you that picture. I don’t know what you plan to do with it, but I’m sure it’s something extremely stupid that you’ll regret later. I won’t give it to you until you can prove to me that Lupin’s engagement is real.
I’m working on the two-way mirrors. I think I’m close to finishing the charms. I’ll owl you one when they’re done.
Eric is an idiot. Period. You asked me what I’d do. I already told you. I’d decapitate him. I don’t know Lupin, but it sounds like you really like him. And in any case, he can’t be any worse than Eric, right? But he is six years older than you. So be careful, okay? I don’t want you getting hurt again. And yes, I realize I sound like an overprotective mother hen when I say that.
Don’t do anything I wouldn’t do. Okay…let me rephrase that. Don’t do anything stupid.
James
P.S. I really didn’t need to know about your “head” prowess. Eugh.
P.P.S. Has Lupin discovered your “head” prowess? Oh, god. Don’t even answer that. Forget I asked.
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Sirius smiled as he read through James’s letter for the sixth time that day. Seeing the tiny, scrawled writing that Peter had once called “chicken scratch” always brought him a sense of peace.
But one sentence from the letter stuck with him, the words reverberating inside his head like a mantra-or a broken track record.
“As far as she knows, Lily Evans is a former classmate and friend.”
But, thought Sirius, wouldn’t word get around his family that he’s engaged? But if he wasn’t, then why would he lie?
Just as he thought the question, an answer formed in the back recesses of his mind. Because you’re underage, whispered a voice in his mind-a voice that, funnily enough, sounded a lot like Remus. He doesn’t want to get entangled in an affair with an underage pupil. Can you blame him?
Despite himself, Sirius felt the faint fluttering of something akin to hope in his stomach. Or maybe that was just the pork casserole Remus had made for dinner…
Either way, Sirius wasn’t giving up so easily. James’s letter had injected a new bout of determination into him.
It was time for phase two of O.S.T. (Operation Seduce the Teacher).
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Remus was wrapping up his lesson plans for the next day when Sirius walked into the study clutching two mugs of steaming tea. The aroma of tea leaves and herbs enticed Remus enough to make him push aside his notes, rest his quill in its stand, screw his ink bottle shut, and walk over to join Sirius in the sofa by the fire.
Well, this is new, he mused to himself. Ever since the Incident, as he had taken to calling it in his mind, Sirius had seemed withdrawn. There was always a mask of calm on the boy’s face, underneath which, Remus could tell, there swirled a myriad of bloody wounds, both old and new. But from Sirius’s current countenance, Remus knew that this was one of the few times when the mask was gone, revealing Sirius Black in all his emotional vulnerability.
Sirius offered him a cup, which he accepted with a smile.
“Thanks,” he said, ignoring the way their hands brushed for a second too long as the cup was passed. “I didn’t know you could make tea.”
“I can cook, too,” said Sirius, leaning back and sipping his tea. His tone was light, but the smile at his lips didn’t reach his eyes, which were sad and heavy like the sky before a storm. “During the summers after my first few years at Hogwarts, I used to spend a lot of time in the kitchens with the House Elves.”
Remus didn’t respond; he could tell by that hardness of Sirius’s eyes that this was a difficult subject for him. Sirius would continue if he wanted to. As tempted as he was, Remus didn’t want to push the issue, even though he knew it would help him understand his pupil better.
“My parents were upset that I had been sorted into Gryffindor,” Sirius went on after a pause, staring unseeingly into the fire, the tea cupped in his lap. “They were worried about the kinds of friends I’d make. My mother recruited my cousins Bellatrix and Narcissa and later Regulus-my little brother-to spy on me.” Sirius raised the cup to his lips but didn’t take a sip. “When she found out that I was friends with a blood traitor and a halfblood, she freaked.”
“Is that why they pulled you out of school?” Remus asked cautiously.
To his surprise, Sirius chuckled and shook his head.
“No…no. It wasn’t that at all. It was”-Sirius suddenly turned and gave him a sharp look-“something else…something else entirely.”
“Oh.” Remus found it hard to say anything else under the penetrating stare. He didn’t know why Sirius was telling him this. But all the same, he didn’t sense an ulterior motive, so he welcomed the chance to get to know more about his student.
Only now did he notice the way the firelight reflected off the angles of Sirius’s face, softening his features and making him look much younger and more beautiful. Gray eyes swirled with the liquid blaze of echoed fire. A pregnant silence stretched before them like a fathomless desert, broken only by the slow cackling of the fire and their own labored breaths, their heartbeats seamlessly merging until it was impossible to tell which rhythm was whose.
Sirius was watching him intently, and from the expression on the boy’s face, Remus could tell he was waiting for him to say something. The problem was that Remus’s mouth was altogether too dry to speak. His tongue felt like a ton-heavy boulder, useless and suffocating inside the furnace of his mouth. The pork casserole seemed to have struck up an impromptu polka band in his stomach. He instinctively licked his lips and saw Sirius do the same. Sirius seemed to be on the verge of leaning forward…
Then Remus blinked, and the moment was gone, lost forever to the vast abyss of memory never to be spoken of again.
Sirius stood, avoiding his gaze, and took both their cups to the kitchen. Remus watched the fire, lost in a reverie. Only the sinking of the sofa cushion alerted him to Sirius’s return. They didn’t meet each other’s eyes for a long time, but when they did, it was bold, as if by a tacit agreement to pretend that the moment had not occurred at all.
“Do you mind if I ask you a question, Professor? It’s a little personal.”
“Not at all,” said Remus. He regretted the invitation as soon as Sirius’s eyes lit up with a sparkle of mischief-a sparkle that was hastily covered up with a blank expression, but not before Remus had caught it.
“Does your family know about you and Lily?”
The question caught Remus off guard so much that for a moment he simply stared dumbly at Sirius. Sirius raised a sardonic eyebrow, obviously awaiting his answer.
Remus cleared his throat, his heart thudding loudly. “Oh, yeah. Of course. Why wouldn’t they know?” he said, hating that his voice was much too high.
Sirius nodded. Remus didn’t altogether like the smile that was pulling at the corner of the boy’s mouth.
“So how did you meet her?” Sirius asked innocently, tucking his hands behind his head and leaning back. “Lily, I mean.”
“We-we were in the same year at Hogwarts, both in Gryffindor,” he answered as calmly as he could. “We were always close friends, especially after…after second year.” He stole a quick glance at Sirius before continuing to address the hearthrug. “And then…er…after graduating we became even more close, and eventually we started dating and we decided to marry and…er…yeah.” Remus hated himself for stumbling and even more for not meeting Sirius’s eyes. He had always been a great liar, but there was something disarming in the way Sirius looked at him. It was as if he knew.
“And the…first kiss?” Sirius asked quietly.
Remus’s mind immediately flew to the memory of the day in the study, when Sirius had kissed him for the first time. The flush of his lips, the warmth of his skin, the succulence of his tongue. The images and feelings all flooded back to him with a force enough to make him waver with vertigo.
It took Remus a few seconds to realize that Sirius was probably referring to the supposed first kiss between himself and Lily, and even longer to realize that this was not an appropriate conversation for a teacher and pupil to have in the first place. Unfortunately, by the time he finished his moments of revelation, the instant in which he should have answered had passed, leaving in its wake only an awkward silence in the air and a triumphant smirk on Sirius’s face.
Remus felt a blush crawl up his neck, a blush that intensified rather painfully when Sirius threw back his head and laughed-outright laughed. He looked on with mounting confusion and unease, flushing to his roots.
And then, without warning, the laughter had died away and Sirius was so close to his face that it hurt to look at him. Bottomless gray eyes danced with a frenzied mixture of relief, mischief, and joy.
“Liar,” Sirius whispered, his hot, tea-stained breath taunting Remus with its flagrant flavor.
Remus felt the bottom drop out of his stomach. Sirius knew. Remus didn’t know how he knew, but he did. Sirius knew.
He opened his mouth to protest, to say something-anything-in his defense. But the heat of Sirius’s gaze coupled with a warm touch of a hand on his shoulder caused the words to become lodged somewhere in the back of his throat, never to see the light of day. He hurriedly shrugged the hand away, not because he didn’t enjoy the touch, but because he did.
And that scared him.
Just as he was starting to miss the feeling of the touch, Sirius stood abruptly, stretching like a cat.
“We should get to bed, don’t you think, Remus?” The tone of his voice would have been obscene if it weren’t for the expression of mock innocence on his face. He smirked, stretching with an air of casual sensuality that Remus felt should be outlawed. “You can have your bed back from now on. I’ll take the transfigured couch.”
Remus started to protest, but was effectively stunned into silence when Sirius oh-so-nonchalantly started unbuttoning his shirt.
“The fire makes it too warm,” he said by way of explanation, continuing to undo the buttons one by one and ignoring Remus’s scandalized expression.
Remus, for his part, was sure his face resembled an overripe tomato. He turned away to hide his all-too-obvious blush and was just starting to walk toward his own room when the sound of Sirius’s voice stopped him.
“Aren’t you going to transfigure the couch, Professor?”
He cautiously turned around, keeping his eyes trained on the floor, the wall-anywhere except the tantalizing column of pale skin that was Sirius’s naked torso. He muttered the spell, and didn’t even wait to see if the couch had successfully transfigured into a bed.
Remus all but ran to his room, and as he closed the door behind him, he could have sworn he heard Sirius mutter a mocking “Good night, Professor” from the living room.
He slowly changed into his pajamas and settled himself into the covers, reveling in the softness and comfort of his own bed. The problem was, it no longer smelled like his own bed. The bedclothes had absorbed Sirius’s distinct aroma. It filled Remus’s nostrils with such power that when he closed his eyes, he could almost feel Sirius curled up around his body. His skin tingled with the heat of the imagined touch and he shivered slightly. He turned onto his back and gazed ruefully at the waning orb of a moon just visible through the curtains of the window.
It wasn’t fair, he thought as he lay there, breathing in the scent that was Sirius. It was all so wrong and so right and so forbidden and so tempting and a world of contradictions all at the same time and he was his student but-dammit-so infernally attractive and it just wasn’t fair.
It just wasn’t fair.
Author's Notes: This is the last of my pre-written chapters. From now on, the chapters will appear just as I type them. So expect updates once a week or so. Sorry. No more two-day updates. But once a week isn't bad, right? I just want to make sure the chapters are as close to perfect as I can make them before I post it. Usually the updates will be on weekends (normally Sunday), so watch for them. That is all. :)
Chapter 10