The Lifespan of a Man, Ch. 3
Title: The Lifespan of a Man
Rating: R
Warnings/Spoilers: Season 1
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, some Merlin/Will and Arthur/Gwen
Summary: A series of vignettes that follows Arthur and Merlin's relationship from Season 1 to Season 4.
Preview: "It really was a nice little village. And contrary to what Merlin believed, Arthur knew he would be happy here, living a simple life."
Read Chapter 2
Arthur goes to Ealdor
It really was a nice little village. And contrary to what Merlin believed, Arthur knew he would be happy here, living a simple life. It made him peaceful just thinking about it. He didn't really understand why Merlin had left. If the situations had been reversed, he would have stayed. He was certain of it. Well, almost. He was fairly sure he wouldn't have left seeking glory or anything like that. Fairly.
He was trying really hard not to think about tomorrow, or the utter hopelessness of the situation. He knew that these people were looking to him for hope. The way that Merlin's mother had looked at him-a version of the same piercing look that Merlin sometimes gave him-stayed with him even when he closed his eyes.
The other thing that stayed with him was the face of the insolent boy that Merlin had hugged. Hugged, like they were great friends. Hugged, in the way that Arthur could never hug Merlin.
Arthur laid awake that first night, long past when Morgana and Gwen had gone to sleep. Their breathing was slow and even. He could tell that Merlin was still awake by the way that he kept shifting around.
Eventually, Merlin got up and carefully crept to the door. Arthur waited a few moments, then followed him.
The night air was cool against his skin, and in the utter lack of torches or candles, it was easy to stay out of Merlin's sight. The moon was just bright enough that he could see the path in between the houses. The whitewashed walls of the cottages shone an eery glow.
Merlin walked a few houses down from his mother's and after checking behind his shoulder-Arthur threw himself behind a wagon of hay-Merlin slipped inside. The faint glow of candlelight spilled out of the window, and Arthur crept up to it, his heart hammering in his throat.
He saw Merlin, silouhetted by the light. It was a messy little cottage, most of the things covered by a generous layer of dust.
"I thought you wouldn't come."
Arthur squinted, and could make out the shape of a young man getting up from the bed. The man walked over to Merlin, and Arthur's stomach knotted at the sight of his face. The boy that Merlin had hugged.
The boy reached up a hand and stroked the side of Merlin's face.
"I miss you, Merlin," the boy said, his voice hoarse.
Merlin captured the boy's hand in his own. Something twisted in Arthur's stomach.
"I'm here now," Merlin said.
The boy's expression turned angry. He pushed Merlin by the shoulder and into the wall.
Arthur put a hand on the door, ready to push it open and demand that the boy unhand Merlin. What right did he have to treat Merlin that way?
"I'm suprised you managed to slip away from your master."
Arthur's anger flared at the way the boy said the word. He wished he had taken his sword with him.
But then Merlin moved, and with grace Arthur hadn't suspected Merlin of possessing, Merlin switched their positions so that he was the one pressing the boy against the wall, his hands on either side of the boy's shoulders.
"He has nothing to do with this, Will," Merlin said. There was an edge to his voice, his words clipped. But then he said softly, "I didn't come to talk about him."
Merlin leaned close to the boy, and kissed him.
Arthur's hand dropped from the door. He felt his knees go wobbly. If he hadn't been a trained knight, he may have slid to the ground. His face was burning. He knew he should leave, but Merlin was moaning into Will's mouth and Arthur couldn't move his legs.
Merlin was again up against the wall, hooking a leg around Will's, unknotting Will's neckerchief with deft hands.
Arthur tore his eyes away from the window and crouched down. This was private, intimate. He had no right to be witnessing such a moment. It was supremely dishonorable. And if there was a sick feeling in his stomach, or an insistent pressure in his groin, well, those were all the more reasons to leave now.
"Does your precious Arthur know this about you?"
Arthur paused, the sound of his name acting like glue on his feet. He chanced a peek through the window.
Merlin was shirtless, the long column of his neck unmarred by his kerchief, his sinewy muscles standing out in relief under the candlelight. His head was thrown back in pleasure. Will was kneeling in front of Merlin, pressing kisses to his erection and unlacing his breeches.
Arthur ached to see him like this, Merlin all undone by pleasure, his lips red and parted. Arthur was so hard it made his head spin.
"I bet he can't make you feel the way I can," Will said. He reached inside Merlin's unlaced breeches and took the length of him in his mouth.
Merlin's hands wound themselves in Will's hair, and he bit his lips to keep in the moan that escaped anyway.
Will pulled his head away and licked up Merlin's torso as he stood up.
"Tell me, Merlin," Will said as he nipped at Merlin's neck. "Does he fuck you in his bed?"
The image of it swam up in Arthur's mind as if some part of him had been ready with it for just such a moment. Merlin, spread out on his bed, in his chambers, Arthur claiming him.
"Or," Will continued in between kisses, "is Arthur the one that likes being fucked?"
This image made Arthur even harder. His vision was starting to blur. It was torture not touching himself right there. He was sure just one squeeze would undo him.
Merlin shuddered against the wall. "Will," he said, his voice breathy and low-utterly unlike any voice Arthur had heard out of Merlin. "Fuck me."
"Are you sure it's me you want?" Will asked.
"Now, Will!"
And then Merlin was pushing Will back, toward the cot from which Will had gotten up earlier.
Arthur, with enormous effort, made himself walk away from the window. He staggered toward the wood. He was so hard it hurt to walk. Once he was sure he was out of sight, he leaned up against a tree. He sqeezed his eyes shut and imagined that scene again, imagined them together in Arthur's bed, Merlin pushing into him, inside him. And as soon as Arthur pressed his palm against himself, he came, biting his lips to keep the sound in.
-x-x-x-
Sated, Merlin lay pressed up against Will for a long time before either of them spoke.
"You like him, don't you?" Will asked quietly.
Merlin rolled over onto his side to face Will, who stared at the ceiling.
"He has a good heart, Will." Merlin put a hand on Will's chest, feeling the rapid breathing of his heart. "Will you train with us tomorrow?"
Will was silent, and when he finally spoke, his voice was jilted, as if the words being torn from him. "I don't think it's right," he said. "Getting their hopes up like this. We don't stand a chance."
"We might. Arthur-"
"Arthur's a prince, Merlin."
Something about the way Will said it made Merlin snatch his hand away from Will's chest. His palm felt empty and cold.
"You're just a servant to him. I've seen the way he treats you."
"I know he can be-difficult," Merlin said. He had been about to say prat, but for some reason he didn't want to belittle Arthur in front of Will. For some reason it felt important to defend him. "Fight with us, Will."
"I won't stand behind a man like Arthur."
From what he could see of Will's face in the candlelight, it was set in that stubborn way that meant he had made up his mind.
"Fine." Merlin sat up from the bed and threw his legs over the edge. "You're being an idiot."
"Go back to your precious Arthur." There was deep bitterness in Will's voice. "Go wag your tail like his loyal little puppy."
Merlin felt a flare of anger. He walked around and picked up his clothes where they were scattered over the floor and put them on.
"He'll never see you as anything more than a servant, Merlin."
Merlin walked to the door and pulled it shut behind him.
Chapter 4
Rating: R
Warnings/Spoilers: Season 1
Pairings: Merlin/Arthur, some Merlin/Will and Arthur/Gwen
Summary: A series of vignettes that follows Arthur and Merlin's relationship from Season 1 to Season 4.
Preview: "It really was a nice little village. And contrary to what Merlin believed, Arthur knew he would be happy here, living a simple life."
Read Chapter 2
Arthur goes to Ealdor
It really was a nice little village. And contrary to what Merlin believed, Arthur knew he would be happy here, living a simple life. It made him peaceful just thinking about it. He didn't really understand why Merlin had left. If the situations had been reversed, he would have stayed. He was certain of it. Well, almost. He was fairly sure he wouldn't have left seeking glory or anything like that. Fairly.
He was trying really hard not to think about tomorrow, or the utter hopelessness of the situation. He knew that these people were looking to him for hope. The way that Merlin's mother had looked at him-a version of the same piercing look that Merlin sometimes gave him-stayed with him even when he closed his eyes.
The other thing that stayed with him was the face of the insolent boy that Merlin had hugged. Hugged, like they were great friends. Hugged, in the way that Arthur could never hug Merlin.
Arthur laid awake that first night, long past when Morgana and Gwen had gone to sleep. Their breathing was slow and even. He could tell that Merlin was still awake by the way that he kept shifting around.
Eventually, Merlin got up and carefully crept to the door. Arthur waited a few moments, then followed him.
The night air was cool against his skin, and in the utter lack of torches or candles, it was easy to stay out of Merlin's sight. The moon was just bright enough that he could see the path in between the houses. The whitewashed walls of the cottages shone an eery glow.
Merlin walked a few houses down from his mother's and after checking behind his shoulder-Arthur threw himself behind a wagon of hay-Merlin slipped inside. The faint glow of candlelight spilled out of the window, and Arthur crept up to it, his heart hammering in his throat.
He saw Merlin, silouhetted by the light. It was a messy little cottage, most of the things covered by a generous layer of dust.
"I thought you wouldn't come."
Arthur squinted, and could make out the shape of a young man getting up from the bed. The man walked over to Merlin, and Arthur's stomach knotted at the sight of his face. The boy that Merlin had hugged.
The boy reached up a hand and stroked the side of Merlin's face.
"I miss you, Merlin," the boy said, his voice hoarse.
Merlin captured the boy's hand in his own. Something twisted in Arthur's stomach.
"I'm here now," Merlin said.
The boy's expression turned angry. He pushed Merlin by the shoulder and into the wall.
Arthur put a hand on the door, ready to push it open and demand that the boy unhand Merlin. What right did he have to treat Merlin that way?
"I'm suprised you managed to slip away from your master."
Arthur's anger flared at the way the boy said the word. He wished he had taken his sword with him.
But then Merlin moved, and with grace Arthur hadn't suspected Merlin of possessing, Merlin switched their positions so that he was the one pressing the boy against the wall, his hands on either side of the boy's shoulders.
"He has nothing to do with this, Will," Merlin said. There was an edge to his voice, his words clipped. But then he said softly, "I didn't come to talk about him."
Merlin leaned close to the boy, and kissed him.
Arthur's hand dropped from the door. He felt his knees go wobbly. If he hadn't been a trained knight, he may have slid to the ground. His face was burning. He knew he should leave, but Merlin was moaning into Will's mouth and Arthur couldn't move his legs.
Merlin was again up against the wall, hooking a leg around Will's, unknotting Will's neckerchief with deft hands.
Arthur tore his eyes away from the window and crouched down. This was private, intimate. He had no right to be witnessing such a moment. It was supremely dishonorable. And if there was a sick feeling in his stomach, or an insistent pressure in his groin, well, those were all the more reasons to leave now.
"Does your precious Arthur know this about you?"
Arthur paused, the sound of his name acting like glue on his feet. He chanced a peek through the window.
Merlin was shirtless, the long column of his neck unmarred by his kerchief, his sinewy muscles standing out in relief under the candlelight. His head was thrown back in pleasure. Will was kneeling in front of Merlin, pressing kisses to his erection and unlacing his breeches.
Arthur ached to see him like this, Merlin all undone by pleasure, his lips red and parted. Arthur was so hard it made his head spin.
"I bet he can't make you feel the way I can," Will said. He reached inside Merlin's unlaced breeches and took the length of him in his mouth.
Merlin's hands wound themselves in Will's hair, and he bit his lips to keep in the moan that escaped anyway.
Will pulled his head away and licked up Merlin's torso as he stood up.
"Tell me, Merlin," Will said as he nipped at Merlin's neck. "Does he fuck you in his bed?"
The image of it swam up in Arthur's mind as if some part of him had been ready with it for just such a moment. Merlin, spread out on his bed, in his chambers, Arthur claiming him.
"Or," Will continued in between kisses, "is Arthur the one that likes being fucked?"
This image made Arthur even harder. His vision was starting to blur. It was torture not touching himself right there. He was sure just one squeeze would undo him.
Merlin shuddered against the wall. "Will," he said, his voice breathy and low-utterly unlike any voice Arthur had heard out of Merlin. "Fuck me."
"Are you sure it's me you want?" Will asked.
"Now, Will!"
And then Merlin was pushing Will back, toward the cot from which Will had gotten up earlier.
Arthur, with enormous effort, made himself walk away from the window. He staggered toward the wood. He was so hard it hurt to walk. Once he was sure he was out of sight, he leaned up against a tree. He sqeezed his eyes shut and imagined that scene again, imagined them together in Arthur's bed, Merlin pushing into him, inside him. And as soon as Arthur pressed his palm against himself, he came, biting his lips to keep the sound in.
-x-x-x-
Sated, Merlin lay pressed up against Will for a long time before either of them spoke.
"You like him, don't you?" Will asked quietly.
Merlin rolled over onto his side to face Will, who stared at the ceiling.
"He has a good heart, Will." Merlin put a hand on Will's chest, feeling the rapid breathing of his heart. "Will you train with us tomorrow?"
Will was silent, and when he finally spoke, his voice was jilted, as if the words being torn from him. "I don't think it's right," he said. "Getting their hopes up like this. We don't stand a chance."
"We might. Arthur-"
"Arthur's a prince, Merlin."
Something about the way Will said it made Merlin snatch his hand away from Will's chest. His palm felt empty and cold.
"You're just a servant to him. I've seen the way he treats you."
"I know he can be-difficult," Merlin said. He had been about to say prat, but for some reason he didn't want to belittle Arthur in front of Will. For some reason it felt important to defend him. "Fight with us, Will."
"I won't stand behind a man like Arthur."
From what he could see of Will's face in the candlelight, it was set in that stubborn way that meant he had made up his mind.
"Fine." Merlin sat up from the bed and threw his legs over the edge. "You're being an idiot."
"Go back to your precious Arthur." There was deep bitterness in Will's voice. "Go wag your tail like his loyal little puppy."
Merlin felt a flare of anger. He walked around and picked up his clothes where they were scattered over the floor and put them on.
"He'll never see you as anything more than a servant, Merlin."
Merlin walked to the door and pulled it shut behind him.
Chapter 4