come what may.
i hate you.
i am in such a fucking bad mood its not even fucking funny. here it goes:
I've been thinking alot lately. & i have realized that i don't like being alone. I don't like being left alone after a long day, & i don't like being left alone when it's dinner time. I don't like being alone when i go to sleep & i dont like being alone when im standing in the hallways. This counselor lady that i went to says it's socialphobia. I also don't like to be hung up on, or ditched, & i dont like girls at my school, & i dont like that I'm jealous, & i HATE it how i dont like shwans parents,because i hate how they treat him like a little kid. I hate how i hate my own parents. & i hate how i'm always so lazy & i don't think much of what really needs to be done. I hate how i get annoyed easily. & i hate how i can't be myself because i want people to like me. I hate how i can't paint, or draw, or sing. & i hate how im listing things about what i hate. I hate that i love people more than they love me. & i hate how people use other people. I hate how girls can make me feel so intimidated when i shouldnt be. & i hate how sex,drinking,& doing drugs is all pushed on you by peer pressure. I hate that i cant make decisions on my own. & i hate that i can't be a stronger person. I hate that I'm not always there for my friends, & i hate how i don't have many trustworthy caring friends that i can depend on. I hate how I'm weak & i can be mislead so easily. I hate how i'm such a people pleaser & how i cant hang out with people because im afraid of rejection. I hate how i cant get on stage without sweating bullets and thinking everyones staring at me. I hate how someone says theyre coming over & how im so exited to see them & then something else comes up & they say theyll come earlier so they can see me & they dont even come earlier because they had something better to do & then they talk to you online to just say "hi" & then they cant even hang out with you that night because they had to go somewhere else with their family & im stuck at home sulking because i have noone else to be with because im a loser. & i hate that I'm such a fucking burden & its too fucking hard to hang out with me for one fucking night. & i hate how you will say that i'm not & how you would hang out with me anytime but i just need to call.why cant you fucking call? why cant you take the anitiative and be MY friend for once in your fucking life. i hate how im hurting right now & i hate how ill put on a fake smile just for YOUR sake. i hate the truth.
i wish i didnt reflect so much on what i hate but i have reasons. I'm going to sleep. I love sleep.
happy baby!
me&shwan observing the product.
:) how cute.
aww baby.
oh yeah, my sister had a baby.
edit
Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: Millencolin
Are you female or male: Vixen
Describe yourself: Random I Am
How do some people feel about you: AirHead
How do you feel about yourself: Dance Craze
Describe your ex girlfriends/boyfriends: Black Eye
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend (if you have one): Killer Crush
Describe where you want to be: Surfing in my Room
Describe what you want to be: Fox
Describe how you live: No Cigar
Describe how you love: Friends til the End
Share a few words of wisdom:: Move your car
i am in such a fucking bad mood its not even fucking funny. here it goes:
I've been thinking alot lately. & i have realized that i don't like being alone. I don't like being left alone after a long day, & i don't like being left alone when it's dinner time. I don't like being alone when i go to sleep & i dont like being alone when im standing in the hallways. This counselor lady that i went to says it's socialphobia. I also don't like to be hung up on, or ditched, & i dont like girls at my school, & i dont like that I'm jealous, & i HATE it how i dont like shwans parents,because i hate how they treat him like a little kid. I hate how i hate my own parents. & i hate how i'm always so lazy & i don't think much of what really needs to be done. I hate how i get annoyed easily. & i hate how i can't be myself because i want people to like me. I hate how i can't paint, or draw, or sing. & i hate how im listing things about what i hate. I hate that i love people more than they love me. & i hate how people use other people. I hate how girls can make me feel so intimidated when i shouldnt be. & i hate how sex,drinking,& doing drugs is all pushed on you by peer pressure. I hate that i cant make decisions on my own. & i hate that i can't be a stronger person. I hate that I'm not always there for my friends, & i hate how i don't have many trustworthy caring friends that i can depend on. I hate how I'm weak & i can be mislead so easily. I hate how i'm such a people pleaser & how i cant hang out with people because im afraid of rejection. I hate how i cant get on stage without sweating bullets and thinking everyones staring at me. I hate how someone says theyre coming over & how im so exited to see them & then something else comes up & they say theyll come earlier so they can see me & they dont even come earlier because they had something better to do & then they talk to you online to just say "hi" & then they cant even hang out with you that night because they had to go somewhere else with their family & im stuck at home sulking because i have noone else to be with because im a loser. & i hate that I'm such a fucking burden & its too fucking hard to hang out with me for one fucking night. & i hate how you will say that i'm not & how you would hang out with me anytime but i just need to call.why cant you fucking call? why cant you take the anitiative and be MY friend for once in your fucking life. i hate how im hurting right now & i hate how ill put on a fake smile just for YOUR sake. i hate the truth.
i wish i didnt reflect so much on what i hate but i have reasons. I'm going to sleep. I love sleep.
happy baby!
me&shwan observing the product.
:) how cute.
aww baby.
oh yeah, my sister had a baby.
edit
Choose a band/or artist and answer only in song TITLES by that band:: Millencolin
Are you female or male: Vixen
Describe yourself: Random I Am
How do some people feel about you: AirHead
How do you feel about yourself: Dance Craze
Describe your ex girlfriends/boyfriends: Black Eye
Describe your current girlfriend/boyfriend (if you have one): Killer Crush
Describe where you want to be: Surfing in my Room
Describe what you want to be: Fox
Describe how you live: No Cigar
Describe how you love: Friends til the End
Share a few words of wisdom:: Move your car