(no subject)
A cautionary tale for all who own toasters.
The magnet woke from its late afternoon snooze on the side of the fridge to see a hand reaching towards it. It winced, bracing itself for contact, but the hand completely ignored the magnet, reaching instead for the photograph that the magnet was holding. The magnet breathed a sigh of relief, but it only lasted one brief, sweet second; for the magnet was about to take the trip of a lifetime.
As the hand plucked the photograph from the magnet's hold, the hand pulled outwards. Just a little, but just enough. The magnet felt its grip on the fridge loosen and then vanish. As the magnet fell, the world seemed to slow. It could see all too clearly below it the gaping jaws of the toaster, which was laughing cruelly as it watched the magnet make the inevitable tumble into it's mouth. The magnet frantically tried twisting and turning as it fell, anything to avoid the trap, but the pull of the toaster's metal was too strong. The magnet reached desperately one last time for anything, anything at all to save it, and was gone.
The magnet slowly came to. It hazily remembered a hand, and a fall, and,
"OH MY GOD!' the magnet said aloud, "I'm... I'm in the toaster!" It slowly tried to bring itself upright, but the toaster's pull was too strong. It gazed towards the sky. It could make out a bit of light, way up there at the top. It laid there on its back, repeating "Think, magnet! Think!" to itself over and over. Quite suddenly,it realized the light was gone. It squinted upwards again, and could make out, yes, yes that was the hand again! The magnet called out desperately, "Help! Help! I'm down here!" It waited patiently for its cries to be heard. It had just about given up hope when the toaster began to move. It watched as the visible slit of sky changed, then became static once more. Then the toaster began to shake. The magnet held its breath, hoping, but it was firmly held by the pull of the toaster. The shaking stopped abruptly. Then the floor started to disappear.
"HOLY SHIT!" the magnet cried as the floor started vanishing under the far wall. The magnet watched as the wall came closer, and as its bit of floor disappeared, the magnet's side slammed into the wall. Just as it started falling, the magnetic pull of the toaster flipped the magnet, trapping it to the underside of the wall. And then the shaking started again.
The knife had been relaxing with its friends in their cup after a nice, refreshing bath when the hand plucked it from its lounging spot and was rudely stuck into the underbelly of the toaster.
The shaking had stopped, and the magnet cautiously opened one eye and saw the welcome face of the knife.
"Oy! What's this about, then?" The knife asked as it was wriggled around.
"Oh! Thank goodness!" The magnet cried. "I fell into the toaster, you see. I can't get out!"
"Well, let's see what we can do then, shall we?" The knife replied. It looked over its shoulder and hollered "A little to the left, mate!" The knife disappeared momentarily, only to reappear right under the magnet. "Can you reach me?" The knife asked. The magnet tried reaching down, but the pull of the toaster was too strong.
"I can't! The toaster is too strong!"
"Don't fret. We'll get you out of there." The knife shouted cheerily before vanishing again. The toaster started shaking again, this time much more violently than before. The magnet was starting to loose its grip when the whole toaster turned upside-down.
"AHH!" It screamed, sliding back towards the gaping mouth. But then the toaster was suddenly righted, and the magnet was slammed against the wall, too high up to reach the floor, to low to reach the edge of the toaster's mouth. "Wonderful!" It muttered to itself. The knife poked his head in from under the wall again.
"Oh good! We'll get you out in a jiff, mate." and was gone. The magnet waited for a minute or two, and the the knife was coming down from above, extended right towards the magnet. "So here's what I want you to do. I know the toaster is a strong son of a bitch, but I want you to try to grab on to me. Then I'll pull you up. Alrighty?"
"Got it." The magnet said resolutely. As the knife stretched towards the magnet, the magnet tried to grab on to him. The knife managed to pull the magnet up a few inches before the pull of the toaster sucked the magnet back towards the wall.
"Not a problem, mate. Just give it another go, there's a good sport!" The magnet once again reached towards the knife and was dragged several more inches towards the sky before the toaster reclaimed it. As the magnet recovered, the knife shouted,"Oy! Hand! I think you'd best get it from here!" And with that, the hand, the very same hand that accidentally started the magnet on this adventure, reached down into the mouth of the toaster and plucked the magnet from inside. It carefully carried the magnet back over to the fridge, and put it back right where it came from. And the magnet sincerely hoped that it'd never have another adventure quite like that one.
The magnet woke from its late afternoon snooze on the side of the fridge to see a hand reaching towards it. It winced, bracing itself for contact, but the hand completely ignored the magnet, reaching instead for the photograph that the magnet was holding. The magnet breathed a sigh of relief, but it only lasted one brief, sweet second; for the magnet was about to take the trip of a lifetime.
As the hand plucked the photograph from the magnet's hold, the hand pulled outwards. Just a little, but just enough. The magnet felt its grip on the fridge loosen and then vanish. As the magnet fell, the world seemed to slow. It could see all too clearly below it the gaping jaws of the toaster, which was laughing cruelly as it watched the magnet make the inevitable tumble into it's mouth. The magnet frantically tried twisting and turning as it fell, anything to avoid the trap, but the pull of the toaster's metal was too strong. The magnet reached desperately one last time for anything, anything at all to save it, and was gone.
The magnet slowly came to. It hazily remembered a hand, and a fall, and,
"OH MY GOD!' the magnet said aloud, "I'm... I'm in the toaster!" It slowly tried to bring itself upright, but the toaster's pull was too strong. It gazed towards the sky. It could make out a bit of light, way up there at the top. It laid there on its back, repeating "Think, magnet! Think!" to itself over and over. Quite suddenly,it realized the light was gone. It squinted upwards again, and could make out, yes, yes that was the hand again! The magnet called out desperately, "Help! Help! I'm down here!" It waited patiently for its cries to be heard. It had just about given up hope when the toaster began to move. It watched as the visible slit of sky changed, then became static once more. Then the toaster began to shake. The magnet held its breath, hoping, but it was firmly held by the pull of the toaster. The shaking stopped abruptly. Then the floor started to disappear.
"HOLY SHIT!" the magnet cried as the floor started vanishing under the far wall. The magnet watched as the wall came closer, and as its bit of floor disappeared, the magnet's side slammed into the wall. Just as it started falling, the magnetic pull of the toaster flipped the magnet, trapping it to the underside of the wall. And then the shaking started again.
The knife had been relaxing with its friends in their cup after a nice, refreshing bath when the hand plucked it from its lounging spot and was rudely stuck into the underbelly of the toaster.
The shaking had stopped, and the magnet cautiously opened one eye and saw the welcome face of the knife.
"Oy! What's this about, then?" The knife asked as it was wriggled around.
"Oh! Thank goodness!" The magnet cried. "I fell into the toaster, you see. I can't get out!"
"Well, let's see what we can do then, shall we?" The knife replied. It looked over its shoulder and hollered "A little to the left, mate!" The knife disappeared momentarily, only to reappear right under the magnet. "Can you reach me?" The knife asked. The magnet tried reaching down, but the pull of the toaster was too strong.
"I can't! The toaster is too strong!"
"Don't fret. We'll get you out of there." The knife shouted cheerily before vanishing again. The toaster started shaking again, this time much more violently than before. The magnet was starting to loose its grip when the whole toaster turned upside-down.
"AHH!" It screamed, sliding back towards the gaping mouth. But then the toaster was suddenly righted, and the magnet was slammed against the wall, too high up to reach the floor, to low to reach the edge of the toaster's mouth. "Wonderful!" It muttered to itself. The knife poked his head in from under the wall again.
"Oh good! We'll get you out in a jiff, mate." and was gone. The magnet waited for a minute or two, and the the knife was coming down from above, extended right towards the magnet. "So here's what I want you to do. I know the toaster is a strong son of a bitch, but I want you to try to grab on to me. Then I'll pull you up. Alrighty?"
"Got it." The magnet said resolutely. As the knife stretched towards the magnet, the magnet tried to grab on to him. The knife managed to pull the magnet up a few inches before the pull of the toaster sucked the magnet back towards the wall.
"Not a problem, mate. Just give it another go, there's a good sport!" The magnet once again reached towards the knife and was dragged several more inches towards the sky before the toaster reclaimed it. As the magnet recovered, the knife shouted,"Oy! Hand! I think you'd best get it from here!" And with that, the hand, the very same hand that accidentally started the magnet on this adventure, reached down into the mouth of the toaster and plucked the magnet from inside. It carefully carried the magnet back over to the fridge, and put it back right where it came from. And the magnet sincerely hoped that it'd never have another adventure quite like that one.