Don't ask why THIS is the subject of my first post in months...
...but last night I witnessed with the strangest thing I have ever seen in a woman's restroom. This hands down beats the time I had to pee in a bathroom with a hissing cat in a hole-in-the-wall pizza place last year in NYC.
I went to this comedy club with Chris and my friends Kasey, Colin, and George. We went to a late showing, which means that everyone in the building except for maybe half the cast was joyfully shitfaced.
So at intermission, everyone woman at the show was standing in a far-too-long line waiting to pee. I have no idea how this started, but Kasey and I wound up in a conversation with the woman in front of us about how guys can pee so much quicker than women do, and JUST THINK of all the time we could save if we peed standing up too! This woman - let's call her Lacey - really had to pee, and was being very impatient with everyone else in the line.
So, beers in hand, we continued our engaging conversation about urinating. After about ten minutes, Lacey had had it. She pulled a stopwatch out of her purse, waved it over her head, and yelled, "I'M TIMING EVERYONE! SO PISS QUICK!"
The next person in line called, "Oooh! time me!" She bolted into the stall, which she stayed in for not more than fifteen second. When she got out she screamed in triumph, "I have fucking pee down my fucking leg, but I did it so quick!" While washing her hands she added as an afterthought, "Tonight, my boyfriend's gonna be like, 'you stink', and I'm gonna be like, nahhh, it's just pee, I bet I can do it faster than you!"
Aren't Bostonians sophisticated?
I went to this comedy club with Chris and my friends Kasey, Colin, and George. We went to a late showing, which means that everyone in the building except for maybe half the cast was joyfully shitfaced.
So at intermission, everyone woman at the show was standing in a far-too-long line waiting to pee. I have no idea how this started, but Kasey and I wound up in a conversation with the woman in front of us about how guys can pee so much quicker than women do, and JUST THINK of all the time we could save if we peed standing up too! This woman - let's call her Lacey - really had to pee, and was being very impatient with everyone else in the line.
So, beers in hand, we continued our engaging conversation about urinating. After about ten minutes, Lacey had had it. She pulled a stopwatch out of her purse, waved it over her head, and yelled, "I'M TIMING EVERYONE! SO PISS QUICK!"
The next person in line called, "Oooh! time me!" She bolted into the stall, which she stayed in for not more than fifteen second. When she got out she screamed in triumph, "I have fucking pee down my fucking leg, but I did it so quick!" While washing her hands she added as an afterthought, "Tonight, my boyfriend's gonna be like, 'you stink', and I'm gonna be like, nahhh, it's just pee, I bet I can do it faster than you!"
Aren't Bostonians sophisticated?