should sara make her livejournal friends only? hrmmmmm
well well well.. i broke up with javi last night.. we were both pretty upset about it. he doesnt wanna break up but i personally think it is in his best interest if i let him go. i dont wanna let him go but not seeing eachother is driving me crazy. it jus seems more reasonable me and him to have a break. he said he's not gonna find someone new and he said that he will wait for me. he said its gonna be too hard for him because he said we cant be friends because he'll still think we're jus going out.. =\ but we arent going out. we're jus friends now. i honestly think im inlove with him :-\ .. maybe this break will make us stronger?? -sigh- i dont know if breaking up with him was the right thing to do.. right now i feel as if it were.. but yesterday, after i did break up with him, i felt like it was the wrong thing to do. bleh, i think over time, he'll find someone new and i think he'll be more happier and that is all i want for him. i want him to be happy and i know he thinks i make him happy but i think someone else could make him happier.
ughh, i love him so much. even after i broke up with him, i still felt as if we were going out. i guess its because we werent even friends from the start so its hard to know how to be friends. i wish someone could be there thru it all to see what me and him are like when we are together. its so perfect. ive never seen anything more perfect.. our relationship is so beautiful and ive never seen anything like it. i hear about it all the time but i never really believed relationships with me could ever work out.. i jus thought perfect relationships came to "perfect" people.. i know there is no such thing as perfect but i believe in perfect when it comes to javi and me. he is perfect to me.. our relationship is perfect.. even when we fight, its perfect. i jus dont know how to explain it. he gives me chills. i dont get the butterflies when im with him.. because he makes me so comfortable and makes me feel so at ease.. but i do get chills from him all the time.
he makes me feel good about myself.. he makes me feel special. he's part of the reason that i regained my confidence.. hes a big part of the reason why i dont give a fuck about what anyone says about me. reason being is because he was homeless yet he still went to go get a job.. he was homeless and he HAD a job.. hes so determined in everything he does.. and hes twice the man than any other guy i know.. -_- i guess if we are meant to be, we'll be, right?
BLEHHHHHH, someone (not saying any names because the name is not important..) gets to see her boyfriend anytime she wants and she doesnt even like him. =\ if only she knew how valuable it could be to be able to see someone anytime that you wanted. id give anything to hold my lovey one more time. -sigh- im glad not one moment went to waste.. even when he slept, i got to see his beautiful face.. i never wasted a minute with him. every chance i got to do anything with him, i did it.. any chance i got to look at him, i did..sometimes i wouldnt go to sleep for hours because i couldnt stop admiring how beautiful he is to me, how beautiful we are.
i wish i never came home. those 10 days were the best days of my life and id want to have another 100 days more of days just like that if i get to spend it with him. i was living the lowest life but i didnt care.. the nights that i almost died because of how cold i was.. it was all worth it. and to be completely honest, i WOULD have died if it werent for him keeping me warm.. one of the nights, i was so cold that my body tried shutting down on me.. my body was trying to make me go to sleep, he didnt let me go to sleep because if i would have, i would have died in my sleep that night. that is why he is so perfect.. hes protectful. ive never felt safe before. when im with him, i feel so safe.. so secure.
ive never had ANYONE like him. my best buds are great but not even are they what he is.. ive alwaz wanted someone to be with me no matter what, i alwaz wanted someone to run with me no matter what, ive alwaz wanted someone to be there alwaz no matter what and there has never been a time where he wasnt there for me.. he ranaway with me to keep me safe.. ive never had that. he's not worth letting go.. why did i do this to myself? he still wants to talk to me everyday even if we arent going out but why did i do this to myself? why did i break up with him? i know i didnt want to break up with him. i know i want to be his and i know i want him to be mine.. -sigh-
what should i do?? we tried talking about our seperation. he said he wont see me for another 3 weeks.. because he gets his license back in 3 weeks. i dont know if i can wait that long although it surely is better than nothing.
i cant sleep in my own bed, or even sit in it. i cant be in my own room... i cant watch tv or listen to music, i cant touch my cds, i cant eat bread or see peanut butter or cookies, i cant see playboy bunny, mainly i cant see or think of anything without thinking of him.. he's alwaz there.. =( sometimes i even hear him -sigh-
SOMEONE GIVE ME ADVICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
-sara*francis
****(im so worried about Joe. me and Javi dont know where he is.. i hope he's home and i hope he's doing okay. ill get in touch with him somehow, i guess.)
ughh, i love him so much. even after i broke up with him, i still felt as if we were going out. i guess its because we werent even friends from the start so its hard to know how to be friends. i wish someone could be there thru it all to see what me and him are like when we are together. its so perfect. ive never seen anything more perfect.. our relationship is so beautiful and ive never seen anything like it. i hear about it all the time but i never really believed relationships with me could ever work out.. i jus thought perfect relationships came to "perfect" people.. i know there is no such thing as perfect but i believe in perfect when it comes to javi and me. he is perfect to me.. our relationship is perfect.. even when we fight, its perfect. i jus dont know how to explain it. he gives me chills. i dont get the butterflies when im with him.. because he makes me so comfortable and makes me feel so at ease.. but i do get chills from him all the time.
he makes me feel good about myself.. he makes me feel special. he's part of the reason that i regained my confidence.. hes a big part of the reason why i dont give a fuck about what anyone says about me. reason being is because he was homeless yet he still went to go get a job.. he was homeless and he HAD a job.. hes so determined in everything he does.. and hes twice the man than any other guy i know.. -_- i guess if we are meant to be, we'll be, right?
BLEHHHHHH, someone (not saying any names because the name is not important..) gets to see her boyfriend anytime she wants and she doesnt even like him. =\ if only she knew how valuable it could be to be able to see someone anytime that you wanted. id give anything to hold my lovey one more time. -sigh- im glad not one moment went to waste.. even when he slept, i got to see his beautiful face.. i never wasted a minute with him. every chance i got to do anything with him, i did it.. any chance i got to look at him, i did..sometimes i wouldnt go to sleep for hours because i couldnt stop admiring how beautiful he is to me, how beautiful we are.
i wish i never came home. those 10 days were the best days of my life and id want to have another 100 days more of days just like that if i get to spend it with him. i was living the lowest life but i didnt care.. the nights that i almost died because of how cold i was.. it was all worth it. and to be completely honest, i WOULD have died if it werent for him keeping me warm.. one of the nights, i was so cold that my body tried shutting down on me.. my body was trying to make me go to sleep, he didnt let me go to sleep because if i would have, i would have died in my sleep that night. that is why he is so perfect.. hes protectful. ive never felt safe before. when im with him, i feel so safe.. so secure.
ive never had ANYONE like him. my best buds are great but not even are they what he is.. ive alwaz wanted someone to be with me no matter what, i alwaz wanted someone to run with me no matter what, ive alwaz wanted someone to be there alwaz no matter what and there has never been a time where he wasnt there for me.. he ranaway with me to keep me safe.. ive never had that. he's not worth letting go.. why did i do this to myself? he still wants to talk to me everyday even if we arent going out but why did i do this to myself? why did i break up with him? i know i didnt want to break up with him. i know i want to be his and i know i want him to be mine.. -sigh-
what should i do?? we tried talking about our seperation. he said he wont see me for another 3 weeks.. because he gets his license back in 3 weeks. i dont know if i can wait that long although it surely is better than nothing.
i cant sleep in my own bed, or even sit in it. i cant be in my own room... i cant watch tv or listen to music, i cant touch my cds, i cant eat bread or see peanut butter or cookies, i cant see playboy bunny, mainly i cant see or think of anything without thinking of him.. he's alwaz there.. =( sometimes i even hear him -sigh-
SOMEONE GIVE ME ADVICEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!
-sara*francis
****(im so worried about Joe. me and Javi dont know where he is.. i hope he's home and i hope he's doing okay. ill get in touch with him somehow, i guess.)