If you would only know ..
Dear Michael,
If you would only know that it's not as simple as a little infautation, not as simple as being coincidentally similar in all aspects to my favorite pop star .. no, there's more, more that you'd never really understand. If it wasn't for the desire to make notice of myself to you, I wouldn't have tried at all, in PE class .. I would have probably sat there and waited for a big fat F on my report card. At that very first moment I saw you, I remember telling myself, 'I am going to decide to like this guy' .. day after day, PE didn't sound all so dreaful anymore, I had a reason to not skip, to actually try to get a good mark .. I can still clearly recall the way you run, the way you smile, the way you kicked a soccer ball high in the air .. you .. you gave me hope. But there is a time limit to everything. I, for one, am just not the type of person who can stand on the sidelines and watch my heartthrob without ever giving a try at telling the person. Thinking about you .. to the point where no matter how hard I studied the words just won't stick, not being able to sleep at night because I'd be filled with images of you in my head, running around the school past swarming numbers of students like crazy trying to find you so I could watch you from nearby .. I ..
I tried to let you go, to tell myself you're just not worth it, but they're all lies. It's not true. Nonetheless, I will keep trying. I'm sorry, I don't mean to hate you. Just .. either I do, or I swear I will fall apart. If only you would know I'm not trying to make you feel awkward, I didn't know that there'd be people as immature as to spread rumors about you already .. I just wanted to stop my feelings of desperation .. I didn't know it would get worse, I didn't know you'd end up giving me such a response .. you haven't said a word, but I'd rather you did. I'd rather you came up to me in person and screamed your head off .. anything is better than this ..
If you would only know that it's not as simple as a little infautation, not as simple as being coincidentally similar in all aspects to my favorite pop star .. no, there's more, more that you'd never really understand. If it wasn't for the desire to make notice of myself to you, I wouldn't have tried at all, in PE class .. I would have probably sat there and waited for a big fat F on my report card. At that very first moment I saw you, I remember telling myself, 'I am going to decide to like this guy' .. day after day, PE didn't sound all so dreaful anymore, I had a reason to not skip, to actually try to get a good mark .. I can still clearly recall the way you run, the way you smile, the way you kicked a soccer ball high in the air .. you .. you gave me hope. But there is a time limit to everything. I, for one, am just not the type of person who can stand on the sidelines and watch my heartthrob without ever giving a try at telling the person. Thinking about you .. to the point where no matter how hard I studied the words just won't stick, not being able to sleep at night because I'd be filled with images of you in my head, running around the school past swarming numbers of students like crazy trying to find you so I could watch you from nearby .. I ..
I tried to let you go, to tell myself you're just not worth it, but they're all lies. It's not true. Nonetheless, I will keep trying. I'm sorry, I don't mean to hate you. Just .. either I do, or I swear I will fall apart. If only you would know I'm not trying to make you feel awkward, I didn't know that there'd be people as immature as to spread rumors about you already .. I just wanted to stop my feelings of desperation .. I didn't know it would get worse, I didn't know you'd end up giving me such a response .. you haven't said a word, but I'd rather you did. I'd rather you came up to me in person and screamed your head off .. anything is better than this ..