The Past Recedes...
Nova High finally recognized Jesse's existance today...the concrete is still setting around his plaque, "In Loving Memory, 1990-2006."
A few solid, caustic seconds of regard were all I could take. No one needs to see the welling eyeballs of a seventeen yearold girl.
I should be pleased, content, possibly thankful. I am, ultimately, all that prior mentioned.
Just seeing his memorial plaque near the same location I saw him everyday inflicts such a sharp, salty hurt in my gut ... a familiar pang I had believed died out.
It didn't.
It boiled with acidic intention from my stomach to my throat into my eyes.
I have regrets piled high.
I have a card from your mother.
I have your t-shirt on.
I miss you so goddamn much.
this is were the garden is...
And then the past recedes
And I won't be involved
The effort to be free
Seems pointless from above
You're looking down at me
I'd rather stay below
Than have you staring up at me
Is nowhere I want to go
Ay, this business of how long we try to stay alive
Why to be here you first got to die
So I gave it a try
And what do you know
Time was so long ago
And things come back you see
To where they don't belong
And every drop of sea is the whole ocean
I lied to the greatest thieves
About anything and everything
I'm a figure of forgotten speech
I'm out of reach
I can't play it safe
But I might just in case
I'm disguised as a reaching hand
I'm a working man
I don't understand why clockout
Comes so slow everytime
That's one line I stay right behind
That's one line I stay right behind.