Shit.
I guess I've failed a friend once more...sorry lil one.
As most of you have noticed, I'm barely ever online anymore. Do not be saddened for I am content...I have founds friends outside of the lil computer box...and I find myself to be constantly busy, while looking forward to college life. What remains to be decided by myself is whether I chose to stay within reachable access to you...or most.
I feel like I've come to a point where I am happy with what I have and do no longer depend on a computer for anything...(except music...of course). Also, I feel like I am of absolutely no use to any(most) of you, and others...you know who you are...know how I feel, cause they feel the same....but they just want a break from it all...
Like I have stated above...it feels like I'm letting those of you who count down one by one, as the strands of friendship slowly cut... it's saddening...yet it's something i no longer struggle with...hopefully this will lead us to a better place. I've tried to offer guidance to some...whom I thought I could help, or needed it...apparently I am wrong... maybe in thinking I was old enough to aid I have only fooled myself into believing they were so young that they needed it... I dunno. I just don't think I can be around and feel responsible for the self-destruction of others, because when you care for them...it's just... I don't wanna bother wording all this shit down. It's too fucking mixed up with emotions and fuck it all.
You may hate me, but know that I had the best of intentions at heart.
Now, fact remains whether this journal will stay around...
I'll come to a conclusion soon enough I guess? Sure.
And no, this is not some rash decision out of some shit arguement. This is reflection gathered over the course of some time and will be taken with a cool-headedness. Yeah.
Later.
As most of you have noticed, I'm barely ever online anymore. Do not be saddened for I am content...I have founds friends outside of the lil computer box...and I find myself to be constantly busy, while looking forward to college life. What remains to be decided by myself is whether I chose to stay within reachable access to you...or most.
I feel like I've come to a point where I am happy with what I have and do no longer depend on a computer for anything...(except music...of course). Also, I feel like I am of absolutely no use to any(most) of you, and others...you know who you are...know how I feel, cause they feel the same....but they just want a break from it all...
Like I have stated above...it feels like I'm letting those of you who count down one by one, as the strands of friendship slowly cut... it's saddening...yet it's something i no longer struggle with...hopefully this will lead us to a better place. I've tried to offer guidance to some...whom I thought I could help, or needed it...apparently I am wrong... maybe in thinking I was old enough to aid I have only fooled myself into believing they were so young that they needed it... I dunno. I just don't think I can be around and feel responsible for the self-destruction of others, because when you care for them...it's just... I don't wanna bother wording all this shit down. It's too fucking mixed up with emotions and fuck it all.
You may hate me, but know that I had the best of intentions at heart.
Now, fact remains whether this journal will stay around...
I'll come to a conclusion soon enough I guess? Sure.
And no, this is not some rash decision out of some shit arguement. This is reflection gathered over the course of some time and will be taken with a cool-headedness. Yeah.
Later.