Dax left
the Cafe silently, he was tired of not being able to break his thoughts of May, his anger at the situation, his anger with himself. He didn't know what he wanted when he arrived back in his room, was he hoping to find May in there? Was he hoping that she'd be in there, reading his note, and the minute he opened the door, she'd forgive him
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When she pulled her hand back and walked around his room, touching things, he moved to back out of the door, only, his feet felt glued to the floor, it was like a nightmare, and he couldn't move. He even glanced down to see if the spikes that tortured him in his nightmares were there, but he found nothing but his own boots. He looked back up as she asked how long he'd lived here, his mouth opening but no sound coming out.
Dax closed his mouth and cleared his throat, taking a deep breath and trying to remember all that Trudy had taught him, licking his lips slowly. Why had the information been so delayed? Was that a sign that he was healing? He finally found his voice and shook his head, "I've lived here for about a week," he got out, and he found that he was walking towards a box shoved under a side table with a cloth over it, pulling it out. "May put your things in this box, she wasn't sure you'd ever come back or want them again, something about she couldn't bear to," he searched for nicer ways to put what she'd said, "to get rid of something she knew was special that wasn't hers," he finally got out, setting it at her feet. He backed up again, moving almost around the perimeter of the room to get to the door again, watching with wide eyes. Supreme Mother...they could be scary little women, couldn't they? He had no idea how Tai-San would be, and if she was going to treat him as Trudy had in the beginning, he wanted to keep a safe distance.
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Tai-San licked her bottom lip in the center and moved back towards her box, kneeling down and beginning to go through the supplies inside of it. Everything was there, and for that she smiled. She pulled out a small package of dried herbs and smelled them, though not fresh, they weren't moldy either, which was a very good sign. She couldn't introduce foreign things into the ceremony if she wanted it to go as planned, the use of incorrect herbs or incantations could have catastrophic effects, though Tai-San had never witnessed these herself, she'd heard plenty about it as a child.
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"I ah, you should go, May is coming back any minute now, we were going to spend a little time together before this Hen Party, she won't like it if I'm entertaining strange women, er, women, alone in the room," he lied, repeatedly. He watched as she poked through the box, hopeful that she was just cataloging everything, that she wouldn't declare something was missing. He wrinkled her nose as she sniffed a package of something, wondering what she was doing. She was very strange, very strange indeed. "Is ah, everything there?" he asked, hoping to rush her out fo the room.
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"I thank you for keeping my things safe, Dax, thank May for me," she instructed breezily, moving past him, pausing in the doorway. "Whatever you are hiding, inside, your secrets? You should come clean, it's not good to carry the weight of our guilt around," she could take that advice herself, but she didn't think about that, turning swiftly and moving down the hallway.
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Dax moved to the bed and laid down again as he had before. Her words, demanding to know why he hadn't put his stamp on, they cut him more than she could know. Just today he'd been having issues with not having a place to belong. God, if I lose May what am I going to do, he thought bitterly, I love her, and if I have screwed this up, I'll never forgive myself. I'll lose the woman of my dreams and a Tribe I respect, Dax frowned, he wasn't a man who cried, but if he was, he was sure the tears would be flowing now. Instead, he clenched and unclenched his jaw, thinking over and over about all that he'd lose, and where he'd go. May had told him she didn't want him to leave, she'd said not to leave, but what if time apart, instead of fixing things and talking, had messed it all up instead of fixed it? What if she went out there and got angry and changed her mind. Dax was torn, and now everything Tai-San had said...what was he hiding? He couldn't think of anything he was hiding from anyone, other than his big secret, but he wasn't about to go screaming that into the streets, and anyone who asked knew. He was confused, and she hadn't helped, not one tiny bit.
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