I have lived so many lives though I'm not old

[_dawnie_]

I've been so busy lately getting ready for finals that I almost can't believe they're over. I just took my last one. English. I'm not too bad at English, actually. I'll probably have at least an A- in there. I wanted to ask Janice how she did, but she zipped off after class. She thinks I don't know that she's been following Jordy around.

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[_dawnie_]

Hmmm. I have a dilemma here. I want to just kiss him until my lips fall off, but that much kissing makes me want other things that I've never done and we've never discussed. So maybe some talking would be good.

I nestle my head on his shoulder and say, "So tell me what you've been doing while I've been in school and since your sister left."

[avasa_edan]

"Painting, collecting dead wood for the fire," I give Dawn an innocent smile as I indicate the still burning fire. In all honesty? I had also been trying to hone my abilities. Either trying to focus on one person whom happened to be miles away, or trying to push away the thoughts and memories of the people in Sunnydale. Both of which had been difficult experiences, both taxing of energy and time.

On more than one occasion I had awoken on the floor, having passed out from the pain of it. Yet I continued with my efforts, not wanting to regress to how I was when I had first met Dawn. Whom I didn't want to sadden if I told her of what I was doing, she had seen so much sadness for someone so young and I never wanted to cause her any more. "What about you?"

[_dawnie_]

"Tons of studying. I've been helping decorate for Christmas, which is interesting at our house since Willow is kinda Jewish-Wiccan, and Tara's Wiccan-American, and me and Buffy are just regular Christmas-celebrate-y types. So we have every decoration you can think of." I spread my fingers out across his stomach, feeling the warm wool of his new sweater underneath them. I glance around. "Do you put up a Christmas tree?"

[avasa_edan]

"Your house sounds like its full of so much warmth". Was it wrong to be jealous of what she had? "And not so much with the Christmas tree," I sound almost sad, but I'm not one for cutting down trees for celebration. Though the gift of giving was something I tried to pratice on this time of year. Even when mildly insane.

"My family celebrated the holidays together, but over the years we just... grew apart. One time, Astrid tried helping mom bake and well, long story short? They almost burned down the entire kitchen," I start laughing a little. Christmas was full of such good memories, it was harder now that mom was gone.

[_dawnie_]

"It's nice, yeah," I say. "It's just different without my mom. I mean, my sister tries hard, but it's--." I shrug. "You know."

He seems a little sad, even though he's smiling. I reach up and trace his jawline with my thumb. "We should get you some of those pretty lights to put up in here. It'd look nice and be kinda Christmasy."

[avasa_edan]

"That's a good idea," I rest my head against Dawn's palm, enjoying the tactile motions she makes along my jaw, "Then it can be cozyandcheery. Although it would pale in comparison to you."

[_dawnie_]

I can feel my cheeks coloring. He makes me feel like somebody special and unique, every time I'm with him. I kiss his neck and snuggle closer. "You say the nicest things anyone ever said to me. And I know you mean them. It's not just empty words."

I don't think he's truly capable of deceit. There's nobody else like him, and there never will be.

[avasa_edan]

I wrap my arm around Dawn and glance out the window, silently praying that sunset never comes.

[_dawnie_]

There's so much peace to be found here, with him. I have a moment of wistful longing: I want to be older, free to be with him all the time if we both wanted that. But then it fades and I decide to just enjoy what we have right now, which is incredibly good just like it is. I smile to myself and the moment stretches out, the hum of quiet and the crackling fire surrounding us.