HOW TO BE A BITCH, asap.

[_darra_]

...please enlighten me. a friend's recent entry has made quite an impact. i think it will do me a lot of good if i just learn to be a bitch.

i need to grow some balls. please advise.

Comments

i hope that this doesn't offend you.

[anonymous]

if the "truth hurts," then i hope that the truth that it's not my intention to hurt you will somehow cushion the blow.

i'm just a casual reader/lurker who discovered your blog through one of your friends' blogs. i've read your previous entries about these other guys: from the moment you posted their pictures, until you actually became an item with one of them. (i don't know if anything more happened or developed between you and the other guys.) suffice it to say that, i think it's not so much that you need to learn to be a bitch. (from some of your entries, you've adequately demonstrated that you can be bitchy and mean, sometimes.) since you asked for it, i think that you need to stop being unreasonable, irrational, and petty; otherwise, you'll degenerate into being pathetic.

a friend of mine once told me that, in affairs of the heart, you shouldn't play the game because if you do, there's bound to be a winner and a loser. in this case, "after a couple of days of ignoring his calls and text messages," you finally got what you wanted (and, arguably, what you deserved). from an outsider's perspective, i'm shaking my head in disbelief at how you couldn't have seen this one coming. in your entry of May 28, 2009, you sounded psychotic, needy, and desperate. do you really want to live the rest of your life being that way?

aside from the Golden Rule, i think we are treated the way that we want others to treat us. don't start with bitchiness: work from self-respect. i'm sure that you have a lot of things going for you. you don't "need" these guys. love yourself a little more, and don't settle for anything less.

Re: i hope that this doesn't offend you.

[_darra_]

it's all good... i know i can be psychotic and petty but to be fair, there's loads of information that i don't post on here. i kind of use my journal mostly as a vent to air out my frustrations and as much of a bitch as i may seem to be capable of in print, i can only dream about becoming in person. so pretty much, this is stuff i cannot or will not demonstrate in real life.

i'm not really sure about which picture you are referring to but if it's the one with the 3 guys, i went out with them through the course of a little over a year and there's a lot of in-between stuff that has happened that i don't post on LJ. FB-guy had already broken up with me by then and i had forgotten about him and i was casually seeing one of those guys when i posted that picture. FB-guy came back into my life and just messed me up... he stayed with me for a week and it was a disaster. i am too embarrassed to admit what i went through while he was here that i cannot even write about it. in the end, he apologized and wanted another shot but something happened while he was away that just made me livid... thus the ignored phonecalls, etc. i guess the irrational part about this whole thing is why i'm even wasting my time trying to figure him out when he just always brings out the worst in me, anyway - i suppose i should just move on and forget, but i can't... and he won't let me, either (well, maybe now he will. lol). i do care about him and i know he is essentially a good guy but he just drives me nuts.

i dislike playing games and i am usually very careful with whom i choose to get emotionally involved with and i try very hard to be considerate - almost to a fault, believe me - so much that i often find myself taken for granted. i'm tired of that and you're right, i do not want to live the rest of my life like this and i need to make plenty of changes.

lastly, i do treat the special men in my life very well. VERY WELL. but i think i have indeed lost focus... i treat them well, spoil them with as many pleasures as i can provide (without hurting me too much financially... or physically, lol) but i have indeed lost my focus here - somewhere along the way, i think i did lose my self-respect and i think that has to change. thank you for bringing that to my attention.

however, i still think i can do with a little backbone (what i may have wrongly referred to as being a bitch). but i think that will come when i start to love myself more.

no offense taken :)

thank you :)

thank you for being gracious.

[anonymous]

i was a little hesitant to comment (until i did) for fear that you would go ballistic and that i'd be hopelessly wrong (as i am well-aware that all writing is "fictionalized," and sometimes even fictional). i thank you for taking my comments in stride, for which reason i must apologize if i sounded a little harsh. i didn't mince my words, hoping that you would hear them and that they would resonate, somehow.

the way i see it, the changes that you need to make in your life really aren't that "plenty." you make the big one, i.e. loving yourself more and having more self-respect, and everything else will come/change as a matter of course. besides, as you've demonstrated, you are a very gracious person and it's who you are that will carry you through everything else that happens in your life.

television and entertainment media glorifies the acerbic tongue, and confuses that for wit. you are well-served by your decision not to demonstrate and actualize your potential for being "bitchy" in real life. the exact words escape me right now, but i remember hearing something to the effect that you should be careful with your thoughts because they might become your words, and your words might become your actions, and your actions might become your habits...

oh, and methinks that you're a sweet lady. you are genuinely nice just the way you are. you seem so full of life; you should celebrate that. don't desire anything more than the backbone that you already have, even if (as i know) you are just referring to obtaining a backbone of the metaphorical kind. after all, contrary to the metaphor, the backbone is actually quite flexible. it serves its purpose well: it allows us to humble ourselves by letting us bend down, and it gives us enough range to be accommodating by letting us bend backwards. and apart from that, it does so much more. (consider the contrary: a backbone so rigid and inflexible that it can only serve to prop us up as we stand, and need i mention the constant risk of breaking.)

i may be anonymous, but the prayer that i will say for you is personal and yours. :-)

no, thank you :)

[_darra_]

i really appreciate all your help... for the prayer especially :)
the one i will say tonight will have you in it as well, whoever you are, my friend behind the words :)

Re: i hope that this doesn't offend you.

[zeeheehee]

i got insight from this comment too because i'm exactly the same..magaling lang mag luto si _darra_...hahahaha

thanks.