Meh..
So...why do girls gravitate towards guys that seemed destined to always let them down?
I've been seeing this guy for a while...and I really, really, REALLY, like him alot...probably more than is healthy as we are both PCSing to different countries in November. Sure he's going to Germany and i'll be in England...so we'll both be in Europe...but what guy can resist the lure of having a woman RIGHT there where he is? He was engaged during the summer and it didn't pan out, and we've pretty much been together for a while now...You could say it moved a little fast with my divorce and all, but I was pretty emotionally finished with Nate in 2008 and I just kept pushing because thats what he wanted...It ended up hurting alot of things more than if I had just called it quits then instead of beating something already dead with a fix-it stick that didn't work at all. But back to this...we were friends before hand and I really liked him then, which showed unfortunately and we got into trouble for not a whole lot and weren't allowed to talk until just recently in December...luckily no one can read my Journal so i'll be truthfull and admit we started talking in September shortly after my aunt passed away...I was afraid of getting into trouble again, but by then I knew it was beyond over with Nate. I felt like I shouldn't waste my life anymore and if my feelings were this strong...maybe it was worth it.
Anyways...enough with the background...oi I ramble a bit don't I?
ANYWAYS. He talks alot about his ex-fiancee...and I never really paid much attention because he acted like he hated her, then they started talking again and agreed to be friendly...but yesterday he said her and her new boyfriend had broken up, and I know its horrible to admit...but I saw an e-mail he left up on my computer from him to her saying he still missed her and the way things were with them...this was only like a few days ago...so understandably i'm worried that maybe i'm just a fling and he doesn't really care about me as much as I care for him? I'm just afraid he'll ask her back or vice versa and then where will I be? Hurting and definately not wanting to be around any one else...because honestly....I really have NEVER felt this way about someone...kind of like ripping my heart into little pieces and me actually giving a rats ass if he walks away...I didn't even feel this way when i was with Nate, not even on our wedding day or before we were married...and i'm not sure how to deal with it...all in all....
this sucks.
I've been seeing this guy for a while...and I really, really, REALLY, like him alot...probably more than is healthy as we are both PCSing to different countries in November. Sure he's going to Germany and i'll be in England...so we'll both be in Europe...but what guy can resist the lure of having a woman RIGHT there where he is? He was engaged during the summer and it didn't pan out, and we've pretty much been together for a while now...You could say it moved a little fast with my divorce and all, but I was pretty emotionally finished with Nate in 2008 and I just kept pushing because thats what he wanted...It ended up hurting alot of things more than if I had just called it quits then instead of beating something already dead with a fix-it stick that didn't work at all. But back to this...we were friends before hand and I really liked him then, which showed unfortunately and we got into trouble for not a whole lot and weren't allowed to talk until just recently in December...luckily no one can read my Journal so i'll be truthfull and admit we started talking in September shortly after my aunt passed away...I was afraid of getting into trouble again, but by then I knew it was beyond over with Nate. I felt like I shouldn't waste my life anymore and if my feelings were this strong...maybe it was worth it.
Anyways...enough with the background...oi I ramble a bit don't I?
ANYWAYS. He talks alot about his ex-fiancee...and I never really paid much attention because he acted like he hated her, then they started talking again and agreed to be friendly...but yesterday he said her and her new boyfriend had broken up, and I know its horrible to admit...but I saw an e-mail he left up on my computer from him to her saying he still missed her and the way things were with them...this was only like a few days ago...so understandably i'm worried that maybe i'm just a fling and he doesn't really care about me as much as I care for him? I'm just afraid he'll ask her back or vice versa and then where will I be? Hurting and definately not wanting to be around any one else...because honestly....I really have NEVER felt this way about someone...kind of like ripping my heart into little pieces and me actually giving a rats ass if he walks away...I didn't even feel this way when i was with Nate, not even on our wedding day or before we were married...and i'm not sure how to deal with it...all in all....
this sucks.