Surrender, NC-17, Glee
Title: Surrender
Author: _dangerzone911 / meremortal2k5
Pairings, Characters: Rachel/Quinn
Length: 7148
Fandom: Glee
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Season 1.
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. Wish I did.
Summary: "Quinn, may we talk?"
"Quinn, may we talk?" Rachel asks, sitting leaned back against the headboard of her bed, chewing at the corner of her lip.
"Hm?" the blonde utters distractedly from across the room where she's slumped forward, head propped up with her hand, in Rachel's computer chair, working on her homework.
"I would like to take this opportunity to discuss the matter of our physical intimacy," Rachel states confidently, though the way her stomach twists and knots with nerves indicates otherwise.
Quinn turns her head in her palm to look at Rachel, eyebrow arching perfectly. "What about it?"
Rachel moves to the end of the bed, legs dangling over the edge but not reaching the floor (something Quinn still teases her about from time to time), her fingers splaying over the hem of her skirt, anxiously smoothing out the wrinkles. "Well...I-I-"
"Yes?" Quinn drawls out.
Rachel sighs under Quinn's expectant gaze. She's been meaning to talk about this, the thoughts that have been playing on her mind for the past couple of weeks, but now, when the moment to talk is finally here, her tongue feels heavy in her mouth making words difficult to form.
"Just spill it, Rachel," Quinn urges, exasperation edging her words, though it has more to do with exhaustion than it does with Rachel. Coach Sylvester has been on a war path this week, hell-bent on getting Coach Beiste fired or forcing her to quit, and with every failed attempt to get rid of the football coach, Sue has vented her anger and frustration out on her Cheerios during practice. If she wasn't in such prime shape and condition, Quinn's pretty sure she would've keeled over days ago.
"I have come to the conclusion that while I, per se, find our love-making enjoyable, I also find that we lack any kind of the variation achievable due to our ages, level of fitness and sexuality. I believe that it is highly possible and possibly probable, after our discussion, that we could take pleasure in each other without the restrictions placed on us by your fears alluding to our sexuality, your religious beliefs and your pedantic parents with their, quite frankly, lacking ideas of sex education. I trust you, Quinn and hopefully, you trust me too. As a couple, we can overcome your pusillanimity, and any concerns you may have in order to achieve, I believe, a more rounded and fulfilling sex life."
Staring blankly at Rachel, Quinn forces her tired mind to work overtime in an effort to replay and decipher the brunette's mile-a-minute monologue. The words click into place and, finally realizing what Rachel said, the blonde blinks owlishly. "Did you just say I wasn't brave in bed?" At Rachel's slight, almost imperceptible nod, Quinn bristles with offense. "What do you mean I'm not brave in bed?"
Rachel bites at the corner of her lip once more, this time to prevent herself from smiling at the expression painting Quinn's face, brows furrowed and her full bottom lip poked out into the tiniest - and cutest - pout. "During our love-making, you have the tendency of keeping to a very strict, rigid routine." Quinn narrows her eyes. "It's always pleasurable, of course. Let me be clear on that," Rachel quickly reassures, holding up her hands in defense. "What I mean to say is, I feel that you are afraid to stray from the routine we have seemingly developed since making love for the first time."
"Routine?" Quinn repeats, rolling the word over her tongue as if it were a foreign, unrecognizable word.
"Yes, routine. Before you touch me or allow me to touch you, you make sure to draw the curtains and extinguish all of the lights in my bedroom - which also seems to be part of our routine as we never make love in your bedroom - so that we are shrouded in complete darkness. Sometimes it makes me wonder if maybe you do not enjoy the sight of my body. Let me finish," Rachel says, holding up her hand when she sees Quinn's lips part as if about to speak. Quinn's jaw flexes with tension, but remains quiet. "I know that neither of us are particularly well-versed in the art of sexual relations between two girls, as we are each other's first, and I myself am not well-versed in sexual relations beyond those involving myself, but I am aware that there is more than one position that we could try as well as experimenting with the usage of various sexual paraphernalia."
"Oh, dear god," Quinn groans into her hand as she palms her face. The tips of her ears flame from embarrassment and she wonders - not for the first time - why she's dating Rachel Berry.
"Quinn, please look at me when I'm speaking to you," Rachel intones.
Quinn moves her hand from her face to her temple, using the tips of her fingers to massage it gently as she lifts her gaze to meet with Rachel's.
"I'd like to be able to take control of the situation when we're together, at least sometimes. To be able to assert my dominance over you and have you submit to me, instead of it always being the other way around," Rachel explains. "While you being on top is sexually satisfying, I would like to know what it feels like to have you writhing beneath me, panting and moaning my na-"
"Okay, can we stop now?" Quinn says, abruptly standing from the computer chair. "I really do not want to be having this conversation right now."
"But, Quinn-"
"I said I don't want to talk about this right now, Rachel," Quinn hisses, as she shoves her books into her backpack. "I'm exhausted and I have a test I need to study for, the last thing I want to talk about right now is how you apparently find our sex life unfulfilling."
"That's not what I said," Rachel contends, a frown forming.
"That's what it sounded like," Quinn says tersely.
Vaguely Rachel wonders if Quinn has experienced some sort of head trauma during practice that would result in minor hearing loss which would need checking out, because she's fairly certain she reassured the blonde more than once that she enjoys their sexual relationship.
"I'm just gonna go home," Quinn says before Rachel has a chance to argue any further.
"You don't have to leave," Rachel quickly gets up from the bed and moves towards Quinn.
"Yeah. I think I do," Quinn pulls her bag on to her shoulder and walks to the door. "I'll see you later."
"Quinn," Rachel pleads, but the blonde is already out of her room and making her way down the stairs. When she hears the front door slam shut, she sighs and sinks to the floor, drawing her legs to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.
***
The next day at school, Rachel waits by Quinn's locker hoping for a chance to talk to the blonde before class starts. Her texts to Quinn after she left had gone, unsurprisingly, unanswered and Rachel begins to worry she might have spoken out of turn last night.
Rachel checks her watch and sighs, realizing there are only a few more minutes before the bell rings and class starts. She drums her fingers against her thigh while tapping her foot rhythmically (of course) on the linoleum, anxiety beginning to seep through her small frame.
At last, she spots Quinn rounding the corner down the hall heading in her direction. Rachel straightens her posture and takes a deep breath as Quinn closes the distance between them with each step. As Quinn approaches, Rachel sees her shoulders slump and tries not to take the gesture personally and let it bother her anymore than the unreturned text messages already have.
"Hi, Quinn," Rachel says softly as Quinn comes to a stop in front of her.
"Hey," Quinn returns grumpily while dialing out the combination to her locker.
Rachel allows the less than warm greeting to roll off her shoulders; she's learned in the time they've been dating that, even when things are great between them and there have been no arguments, Quinn Fabray is not the most pleasant of people in the mornings.
Leaning in close to the blonde, so as to prevent any prying ears that might be listening from overhearing, Rachel says quietly. "I was hoping we could talk about last night."
Quinn's grip on her locker tightens as she runs her free hand through her hair before looking down at Rachel. "Rachel, I'm not having this discussion right now."
"Quinn, I feel that we need to talk about this in order to get over this hurdle that is seemingly causing problems between us," Rachel states.
"The only thing that is causing problems right now is the fact that you won't let this go," Quinn scowls, turning her attention back to her locker as she pulls out the books for her next class.
Rachel huffs indignantly. "I am only trying to maintain a line of open and honest communication between the two of us for the betterment of our relationship."
"Rachel," Quinn says calmly even as she shuts her locker with no small measure of force. She rests her forehead against the cool metal and says evenly, "Coach Sylvester ran us through the wringer yesterday at practice, which I might remind you lasted for two hours and then I was up all night studying for my A.P. chem test; I'm exhausted. And I'm really trying my hardest right now not to snap at you, but you're making that extremely difficult. You need to let this go."
"But, Quinn-"
"No 'buts', Rachel," Quinn says as she straightens, moving away from the locker. "We're not going to have this discussion right now. This is neither the time nor the place to have this talk. So, I'm asking you as nicely as I possibly can for you to, please, let this go."
Rachel frowns, but only nods in response.
"Thank you," Quinn sighs in relief, thankful that, for at least the moment, Rachel is respecting her wishes. As the bell rings, Quinn touches her hand to Rachel's shoulder and moves it down until she has Rachel's hand in hers, then gives it a small squeeze before releasing it. "I'll see you later."
"Okay," Rachel murmurs quietly, watching as Quinn walks backwards for a moment, her gaze locked with Rachel's, before turning around and heading to class.
She hopes that once school lets out for the day (she's already counting down the hours and minutes) that Quinn will be more willing to continue their discussion.
***
Rachel sits at the side of her bed, eyes trained on her phone which rests on her nightstand hoping she can will it to ring or to vibrate by the sheer force of her mind.
All throughout the rest of the day at school, she barely saw Quinn, catching only brief glances of her between classes. And during the one class they share and glee club, Quinn only acknowledged her every now and again with a tight, tired smile that didn't always reach her eyes. As the day progressed, Rachel began to fear more and more that Quinn would not only continue to avoid talking to her about the topic she had broached the previous night but also avoid talking to her altogether.
Since returning home from school, she's been doing her best to resist the urge to call or text Quinn. Even going so far as to sit on her hands in an effort to prevent herself from going against Quinn's wishes. But it feels like its going against her very nature to not call Quinn and talk through this particular issue before it causes any further disturbance in their relationship.
Her arm twitches under the weight of her anxiety and the desire to reach out and grab her phone to type out a quick message to the blonde. Before she has a chance to give into temptation, there's a knock at her bedroom door.
"Come in," she calls out, her focus still fixated on her phone. As much as she loves her fathers, she hopes whichever one of them is wanting to come in doesn't linger with her for very long and possibly cause her to miss a text or phone call (even if she does have her alerts and ringer volume turned all the way up) from Quinn.
"Hi."
Rachel turns her head, eyes wide with surprise at the sound of the blonde's voice. "Quinn? W-What are you doing here?" She shifts on the bed nervously, her voice wavering from the intensity of Quinn's gaze.
"You wanted us to talk, didn't you?" Quinn asks, her brows furrows in confusion, rolling her weight from one foot to the other.
"I did- I mean I do. But I thought you didn't want to?"
Quinn shakes her head as she moves towards the bed. "Of course I didn't want to talk," Rachel frowns at Quinn's words and Quinn can't help but roll her eyes. "I told you I was exhausted, Rachel. When I got home, I fell asleep as soon as I hit the bed. That's why I'm so late coming over here," Quinn explains, sitting down beside Rachel on the bed. "And I didn't want to talk about it at school because like I told you earlier, it wasn't the time or place to have that discussion."
"Well...you could have just told me that," Rachel says simply.
Quinn raises her eyebrow as she looks at the brunette in disbelief. "I did. Several times, in fact. You were just so determined to get your way that you didn't hear me. You know as well as I do that you can become incredibly single-minded when it comes to certain things and you pretty much develop tunnel vision."
"That's not-" Rachel stops when Quinn snorts, fixing her with a look. "Okay, so maybe it might be a little bit true. But you can't fault me for wanting to understand why you were so upset last night."
"I guess I can't," Quinn concedes. "But I wasn't upset, not really. I was just tired and I took what you said the wrong way."
"Oh," Rachel utters. She supposes she could have picked a better time, when Quinn didn't look so rundown and tired, to have that particular conversation. Now that she knows Quinn has gotten some rest, she decides to try again. "So, are you? Unattracted to my body? Is that why we always make love in complete darkness?"
Quinn lifts her head, glancing towards the window that is open, the curtains swaying from the gentle breeze blowing into the room and her eyes narrow. She grabs Rachel by the hand and pulls her from the bed, leading her to the window. "You want to know why I make sure it's dark in here and that the curtains are closed?" Raising her hand, she points out the window. "That's why."
Rachel follows Quinn's line of vision, gasping softly when she sees her next-door neighbor, a young teenaged boy named John, peering out of his window straight into hers with a pair of binoculars.
Quinn folds her fingers down, leaving only the middle standing as she offers him a one-finger salute. A smirk spreads across her lips as the boy drops the binoculars and quickly ducks down under the window. Drawing the curtains closed, Quinn turns her attention back to Rachel. "I've noticed him peeking in here before when I've been over here. That's why, even when we're not doing anything, I close the curtains. I'd rather not put on a show for the little perv."
Rachel's cheeks flush brightly from embarrassment. All this time she had assumed the worst, thinking Quinn wasn't attracted to her body, when in reality the blonde had only been protecting her modesty from her nosey neighbor.
"Thank you," she says as she slides her arms around Quinn's waist and lays her head against Quinn's collarbone. She releases a soft sigh at the feel of Quinn's lips pressing against the top of her head and the gentle grip of hands on her hips. A thought comes to mind and she pulls back from the embrace, tilting her head back to look up at Quinn. "Why didn't you tell me before about my peeping Tom? For all I know, he could have been watching me all this time when you aren't here and possibly have seen my naked body."
"Because the only time you get undressed in here is when we're about to..." Quinn trails off, blushing slightly. "Other than that, you get dressed and undressed in your bathroom, so I wasn't worried about him seeing anything that he wasn't supposed to see. The most he's probably seen you do is sing into your hairbrush in front of your mirror."
Rachel considers Quinn's explanation for a moment and then realizes that the blonde is probably right. "At least now I know to always keep my curtains closed, or at the very least, to make sure I'm never in his line of sight. Honestly didn't his parents teach him about respecting other people's privacy?"
"I guess not," Quinn laughs softly as Rachel's arms fall from around her waist and they both move back over to the bed.
"I can accept your explanation as to why we must always have the lights off, but that doesn't explain why we cannot make love in your room. I would think, if anything, my neighbor's prying eyes alone would cause you to want us to be intimate in the safety of your room."
"You really have no idea of how loud you can get, do you?" Quinn asks dryly, with a wry smile which causes Rachel's cheeks to flush once more. "As much as my mom likes you and is fine with our relationship, I think hearing us would be pushing things a little much, don't you think?" Rachel nods meekly. "Besides that, since I moved back in, you know that she has no concept of space and would probably walk in on as at some point. At least your dads give us some warning when they're about to come upstairs and then, knock on the door and wait until we give the all clear."
"I do not think I am all that loud, Quinn," Rachel argues. "I will concede that I have a very powerful voice, but my fathers have never complained about hearing us in the midst of our sexual congress."
"Your room has been sound-proofed ever since your neighbors collectively filed a noise complaint with the police and threatened to press charges if something wasn't done to, and I quote, 'shut you up or to find a way to block any and all sound coming from your room'," Quinn snorts.
"That's rather rude. I haven't filed a complaint or threatened to press charges against John and his peeping Tom ways."
"That's because you just now found out about it. I'm surprised you haven't already marched over there and urged," Quinn uses air-quotes, "him not to peek anymore unless he wants the wrath of the local ACLU branch to rain down on him."
"I'm not sure that the ACLU handles cases such as these."
"You know what I mean," Quinn says, nonplussed, bumping her shoulder gently against Rachel's.
Rachel frowns at the turn this conversation has taken. With each issue she brings up with Quinn, the blonde has a reasonable explanation behind her actions. And while she should be happy about that fact, she can't help but think there is more to it than Quinn is letting on. "You've seemed to have an answer for everything thus far, Quinn. Answers that aren't altogether unreasonable, I suppose. But can you explain to me now, why there is little to no variation in our sexual performances?"
Quinn moves her hands nervously over the denim covering her thighs. This is the part of the conversation that she least looked forward to - the most awkward part. Standing, she moves around the end of the bed, rubbing at the back of her neck trying to figure out the best way to explain this to Rachel as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Rachel shifts on the bed and leans against the headboard, waiting patiently as she watches Quinn pace along the edge of her bed, reminding her of an animal restless in its cage.
"You and almost everyone else in this town knows about my first time," Quinn says suddenly, stopping the pacing as she turns to look at Rachel. "It only happened because I felt disgusted with my body, felt like I was fat, and Puck was there plying me with wine coolers and telling me how beautiful I was and that I wasn't fat. Being surprisingly sweet. Well as close to sweet as Puck can be."
Rachel nods even though she's unsure of what Quinn's past dalliance with Noah has to do with their current situation.
"And at any other time, I could and would have turned him down like I had so many times before," Quinn admits and she hears Rachel draw in a surprised breath. Though her encounter with Puck is common knowledge at this point, she knows that she and Puck are the only ones who know he made advances towards her before. "But I was vulnerable, and I gave in. I trusted him to wear protection, but obviously my trust was misplaced as we all know what happened next. When I found out I was pregnant, I decided then that, if and when I ever had sex again, it would be on my terms. That I would be the one in control so I'd never end up in a situation like that again."
"Quinn, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but I lack the proper sexual organs needed to impregnate you, so it is highly improbable, outside of immaculate conception, that our sexual relations could result in another pregnancy," Rachel says, tactless as ever.
"That wasn't the point, Rachel," Quinn glares. "I know that you can't get me pregnant, but the thought of feeling and being that open and vulnerable again, like I was my first time, wasn't and isn't something I am comfortable with."
"Oh, Quinn," Rachel says softly, now realizing and understanding Quinn's meaning, as she moves from her position on the bed to stand beside Quinn. Wrapping her arms around Quinn's waist, she pulls her close to her chest and places a kiss on Quinn's shoulder. "You know I would never betray your trust or intentionally do anything to hurt you. Well... not anymore," Rachel amends with a sad look, remembering memories from the past. "You are safe with me."
"I know," Quinn hums contentedly as Rachel rubs small circles soothingly at the base of her spine. "But sometimes it's hard to let go."
"I understand," Rachel mutters into the soft, sweetly-scented skin beneath her lips.
"But that's not the only reason why I like to be in control, though," Quinn adds a couple minutes later, as a mischievious smile forms.
"Oh?"
Quinn raises her hands to cup Rachel's face and tilts her head down, brushing her lips against Rachel's in a soft kiss. As she pulls back, she grins at the way Rachel's eyes slowly flutter open. "I don't know if you know this but you, Rachel Berry, are a total control freak." Her grin widens, flashing brilliantly white teeth when Rachel scoffs, knowing the words I am not desperately want to fall from full lips. "You like to be in control of just about everything, so I like those moments when I can coax the tight rein of control away from you."
Her admission causes something to spark inside Rachel, reigniting her desire to have Quinn trembling with pleasure beneath her, to have her name tumble past Quinn's lips in a breathy moan.
"Is that so?" Rachel drawls, eyebrows arching, perfectly imitating Quinn's trademark raised brow. "Well, perhaps I would like to, as you say, coax away from you the tight rein of control you have while we're making love."
Though the tone in Rachel's voice sends a shiver down her spine and causes her chest to tighten, Quinn isn't sure she's ready to allow herself to be that vulnerable again, even with Rachel. "I-I don't know."
"Do you trust me, Quinn?" Rachel presses, undeterred. Quinn nods slightly, looking everywhere but at Rachel. "Perhaps then, I could make some suggestions?"
Quinn's brows furrow. "What kind of suggestions?"
Rachel purses her lips in thought. She feels the corners of her lips lift into a smirk. "You seem to enjoy," she moves so that her mouth is close to Quinn's ear as she presses the palm of hand against the blonde's abdomen, feeling the muscles twitch from her touch beneath the thin cotton shirt, "when I manipulate you with my fingers."
Quinn swallows thickly, her nod of agreement barely perceptible.
"What if I used something other than my fingers?" Rachel breathes against the delicate shell of her girlfriend's ear while slowly dragging her nails down from the edge of Quinn's rib-cage to just below her navel. "What if..." Rachel pauses for a brief second, her thumb slipping underneath Quinn's shirt and circling around the smooth skin around her belly button, each stroke leaving Quinn's skin burning in it's wake, "instead of using my fingers to bring you pleasure, I used my mouth? My tongue?"
"I-I, I d-don't know, Rachel," Quinn gasps, even as her eyes snap shut and her heart thuds heavily in her chest, her mind becoming overwhelmed with images evoked by Rachel's words.
"I must confess something, Quinn," Rachel slowly moves around the blonde, trailing her fingertips over Quinn's hipbone as she goes. "When we make love," Rachel sweeps Quinn's hair away from her neck and leans up, peppering her nape with feather-soft kisses, "and I feel your wetness coating my thighs," Quinn shudders as a strangled moan emanates from somewhere deep inside and Rachel smiles into her neck. "I think about what it would be like to taste you."
"Rachel," Quinn groans, fisting the hem of her shirt in her hand and drawing in a shaky breath as she tries in vain to return her breathing to normal.
Curling her fingers around Quinn's hip, Rachel inches forward while, at the same time, gently guiding the blonde until her back is flush against her. "You can't even begin to fathom how often I think about that." Rachel's lips ghosts a trail from Quinn's nape to the patch of skin beneath her ear, while she grazes the back of her fingers down Quinn's arm, causing the blonde to shiver and goosebumps to rise.
Knees trembling and weak, Quinn struggles to remain upright under the effect of Rachel's words, which is only amplified her every touch, as her head falls back against the brunette's shouder, arousal burning hot in her belly.
"How often I fantasize about parting your thighs and nestling between them," Rachel purrs while nuzzling along the edge of Quinn's ear with the tip of her nose as she reaches around, the fingers of her left hand splaying across Quinn's stomach, "your fingers threading through my hair and your heels digging into my back," A soft whimper escapes Quinn's lips as Rachel holds her close, continuing to graze her right hand down the blonde's arm until she can slide her hand into Quinn's, "as I slip my tongue inside of you, finally tasting you after having wanted to for so long."
Quinn swallows hard as her mind plays over Rachel’s spoken scenario. She shudders in her girlfriend’s arms and squeezes the hand in hers.
"Do you ever think about it, Quinn?" Rachel licks at her lips, tasting her lip gloss and Quinn, but wanting more than the subtle saltiness and hint of perfume on her lips. "Do you ever think of me, doing that to you?" She moves the hand on Quinn’s stomach a little lower, feeling the slight movement of Quinn’s hips as her body trembles. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like for you, if I tasted you?"
“You’d do that?” Quinn whispers. She really isn’t sure of her footing when it comes to sex in any form. She was always taught that nice girls didn’t do it except for procreation and they certainly shouldn’t enjoy it, but Quinn does enjoy making love with her girlfriend and she does wonder what it would be like if Rachel used her mouth on her. She is afraid though; Rachel had hit that particular nail on the head, no matter how much she loathes admitting it, even only to herself. What if Rachel doesn’t like the way she tastes or smells or even her reactions to having that done to her?
Rachel’s brows furrow at the anxiety in her girlfriends tremulous voice. She moves back around Quinn until they’re face to face. Looking up into her hazel eyes she smiles gently and nods her head. “I really, really would, Quinn.”
“Really, really?” Quinn’s lips quirk up.
Rachel nods again, her eyes glitter in mirth. “If you let me.” She dips her eyes before looking back up through thick lashes. Rachel captures her bottom lip between sharp teeth when she see’s the hunger flash behind hazel eyes.
“I thought that you wanted to be the top for once,” Quinn smirks at Rachel’s little concession. Perhaps they have become a little routine.
Rachel blinks. “I do.”
Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, Quinn reaches out to touch her fingertips to Rachel’s mouth. “What if you don’t like it?” She strokes her thumb over Rachel’s lips, imagining how they would feel kissing her elsewhere.
“I seriously doubt that that will be the case.”
“Then do it, Rach,” Quinn lets the words out in a rush and feels the blush heating her cheeks, slowly paint its way down her neck and over her chest. She keeps her eyes locked with Rachel’s, knowing that she needs to push through her fears for both herself and her girlfriend.
Rachel breathes a shuddery breath. She steps closer towards Quinn as she drags her fingertips up along Quinn’s forearm and over her bicep. She momentarily revels in the feel of silky hair, running through her fingers before she cups Quinn’s head tenderly and pulls her down for a kiss.
Rachel’s fingers drop to Quinn’s waist. She slowly starts to drag Quinn’s top up along her stomach and over her chest, only stepping away long enough to remove the garment completely before returning her hands to Quinn’s waist and resuming their soft kisses. Rachel grazes her nails over the taut flesh of Quinn’s stomach, scratching lightly until she reaches the waist band of Quinn’s pants. She fingers the button, slides down the zip and pushes the denim over gently rounded hips.
This isn’t new for Quinn; but she still trembles under Rachel’s hands because this is Rachel’s show and as hard as it is not to take over, push her girlfriend down onto the bed and climb on top of her, Quinn is really enjoying the simple pleasure of Rachel undressing her as they kiss. Her breath hitches when Rachel steps back again, separating from her long enough to remove blouse, skirt and cami top, a smirk on her lips and her eyes impossibly darker than Quinn has ever seen them before. As Rachel stands before her in nothing but her little blue panties, Quinn resists the urge to take back the control and make Rachel hers.
Rachel looks at Quinn as she nips at her lip. She sees the fight warring behind her girlfriend’s eyes, so she smiles and steps back into Quinn until their bodies are flush. Warm skin against warm skin. “Trust me, Quinn.”
“I- I do,” Quinn wraps her arms around Rachel and buries her face in the crook of her neck, taking in the calming scent that is all Rachel. “I didn’t think it would be this hard.”
“I love you,” Rachel strokes Quinn’s back in soothing sweeps. She curls her fingers as she moves up and down the blonde’s spine, using her nails in a way that always makes Quinn purr. Rachel feels Quinn’s shuddery breaths against her throat and her fingers grip and release her shoulders. “I won’t ever hurt you,” Rachel sighs softly. She nuzzles into Quinn, pressing soft kisses just under Quinn’s ear, waiting until her girlfriend regains her composure.
Quinn draws in a long breath and releases it slow. She lifts her head until hazel eyes meets the warmed dark chocolate color of Rachel’s eyes. “I trust you.”
Rachel smiles widely. She never doubted Quinn's trust in her but it was nice to hear. Slowly, she walks Quinn back until her legs hit Rachel’s wooden bed frame. Rachel presses her mouth to Quinn’s, pushing gently until Quinn gets the message to sit down and scoot along the comforter with Rachel following.
Quinn lays back against the pillows, her mouth sliding sensuously against Rachel’s. She gasps when Rachel blankets her body. Having the diminutive brunette lay on top of her feels so different to having the lumbering oppressive weight of Finn covering her completely, or the hard body of Puck pressing painfully against her. Rachel is all soft curves that fit her in exactly the right way. She opens her mouth, allowing Rachel’s inquisitive tongue past her lips. No one kisses her like Rachel; she always seems to know what she needs, whether it be bruising kisses that leave her breathless or soft wet kisses that has her internally begging for more.
Rachel slips between Quinn’s legs as they continue to kiss deeply. She moves her hands between them and flicks the front clasp on Quinn’s bra, pulling the soft cotton material apart, shuffling a bit until the full warm weight of her breasts press against Quinn’s. Rachel slides her lips along Quinn’s jaw as Quinn gasps. She kisses the blondes neck just below her ear and starts to suck and kiss lightly as she makes her way downwards. Rachel stops momentarily at the hollow of Quinn’s throat. She feels Quinn’s pulse under her lips and kisses it reverently before moving on.
Quinn chokes on a ragged gasp as wet lips suckle alternately at her nipples. Sharp nails toy with her rib cage and waist, and Quinn’s head is beginning to swim from the different sensations that Rachel is producing in her body. She wants to press her legs together. She wants a little release from the delicious pressure building inside, but Rachel lays between them, keeping them apart. “Rach,” Quinn groans as she rocks her hips against the girl above her. “Please.”
Rachel lifts her eyes and stares into hazel, seeing her girlfriend's need. She can't help her smirk. Being a top is addictive and she now knows why Quinn enjoys it so much. She presses a kiss between Quinn’s breasts and then slowly trails little kisses down along pale skin, spending a second to dip her tongue into Quinn’s naval before continuing down.
Quinn’s stomach clenches, her body torn between arousal and apprehension. She bites at her lips, trying to stop the words forming on her tongue. Wait and don’t and oh God wanting to make their escape. Quinn covers her face with her hands, fear getting the better of her.
Rachel feels her girlfriend tense beneath her as she kisses the slight jut of Quinn’s pelvic bone. She looks up, her heart squeezing painfully at the sight of Quinn Fabray hiding her face from her. “Quinn?” Rachel rests her cheek against the top of Quinn’s thigh. “You smell so good.” She takes an audibly deep breath. “I’m salivating from scent and thought alone,” Rachel rubs her thumb back and forth over Quinn’s hip. “I want to taste you so badly, Quinn." She wants to continue on, her body screaming for to continue, but she won't until her girlfriend is more relaxed. “Don’t you want that? Don't you want to feel my tongue on you, inside of you?”
Quinn tries to take a few deep breaths from behind her hands. Rachel’s words are starting to get to her again. She shudders as Rachel presses open mouthed kisses to her sensitive skin, so close.
“Look at me, Quinn. Please.”
Quinn’s face is flushed with heat. She feels so foolish for letting things get this far and then freezing on her girlfriend, but Quinn doesn't know if she can let things continue. She pulls her hands from her face, thumping them down on the mattress by her sides. She turns her face to the side and stares at the wall. “I’m sorry.”
“Look at me, baby.”
Reluctantly, Quinn flickers her eyes down to Rachel and blinks. The other girl is breathing heavily, her dusky skin colored with arousal from her high cheek bones, down along her throat and over what Quinn could see of her chest. Rachel’s eyes are so dark.
Rachel lowers her mouth, keeping her eyes locked with Quinn’s, looking for any sign that she should stop. She licks at her lips before swiping her tongue through Quinn’s arousal. “Wow.” She rolls her tongue around her mouth, enjoying the full taste of her girlfriend.
“Really?” Quinn nips at the corner of her lip. She had barely felt Rachel’s tongue on her, but she does know that if Rachel doesn’t think she tastes disgusting, she wants Rachel to do it again and again.
Rachel nods. “So good, baby.” She licks again, slowly, dragging her tongue all the way along the crease of Quinn’s sex. She hums at the taste of her girlfriend and the feel of her soft flesh against her mouth and chin. She has been thinking about this so much and now she was finally getting to experience it.
Quinn’s eyes roll back and her hand reaches out to grab Rachel’s head. She grasps thick hair in her fingers and pulls Rachel harder against her, groaning as Rachel’s tongue touches that place that makes her come undone.
Pressing firmly with her tongue, over and over, Rachel moves so that she can use her elbows to hold Quinn’s quivering thighs apart and use her fingers at the same time. She parts Quinn with two fingers and reaches up over Quinn’s stomach so that she can link her fingers with her girlfriend's. Rachel circles the small bundle of nerves with her tongue before sucking it softly into her mouth.
Quinn arches, pushing herself further into Rachel’s talented mouth. Her fears melted away as obvious sounds of enjoyment filled her ears. The noises Rachel makes, the slurping and sucking, are obscene to Quinn’s sensibilities, but they make her blush and squirm for more all at the same time. She squeezes Rachel’s hand in hers and fists the fingers of her other hand in silky hair, needing the connection to her girlfriend as her eyes slam shut. She would love to be kissing Rachel right now, but is still cognizant enough to know that if they were kissing, she wouldn’t be feeling the amazing things that Rachel is doing to her.
Rachel flicks her tongue over and around Quinn’s slick bud before moving to push against her opening. She darts her tongue around and then presses in as far as she can while manipulating the swollen flesh with her finger tips.
Quinn grunts and rolls her hips. “Oh God.” She begins to match Rachel’s shallow thrusts with the rocking motion of her hips. “Rachel.” She gasps as she opens her eyes and looks down. Rachel is still watching her and she swears that she can feel Rachel smile so widely against her and that makes a giggle erupt from Quinn’s throat.
Rachel grins as she continues to thrust her tongue in and out, curling up to find that spot that makes her girlfriend fly. She pinches Quinn’s bud between her fingers, feeling it slip as she tries to keep her grip. Quinn’s strangled cry makes Rachel shudder, so she does it again and feels a sharp tug to her hair.
Quinn’s breath comes in harsh pants. She feels herself getting closer and closer. She has never come so quickly under Rachel’s ministrations, but the feeling is so near. When Rachel pinches her again, she feels the bite of nails and suddenly she’s coming. Quinn groans throatily, her pelvis jerks against Rachel and she freezes.
Moisture floods Rachel’s mouth as muscles flutter around her tongue. She eases her tongue from inside of her girlfriend and licks her lips, then carefully laps at Quinn until she shudders from oversensitivity and begins to pull at Rachel, pulling her back up her body until they’re face to face.
Rachel smirks as she settles in next to Quinn and Quinn can’t help but chuckle at the satisfaction in dark eyes.
“Proud of yourself?” Quinn blows out a breath, chest heaving.
Rachel’s smile widens, her dark eyes sparkle. “Very.” She presses a quick kiss to Quinn’s lip.
Quinn bites at the corner of her mouth and turns onto her side until she is leaning over the shorter girl. She pushes Rachel onto her back. “Maybe … we should discuss these other suggestions you have.”
“Really?” Rachel’s eyes widen in pleasant surprise. “I have an extensive list drawn up that we could look through whenever you’re ready. I’ve color-coded them into categories dependant on mood, time allowance and location.”
Quinn laughs at the evident eagerness. “You should get your list out, Rach.” She kisses the corner of Rachel’s mouth, the tip of her nose and then her chin. “Later though. We need to thoroughly explore this suggestion first,” She smiles easily at the confusion that causes a crease to appear between dark eyes. “I want to know what Rachel Berry tastes like.”
Rachel blinks and then shuffles into a more comfortable position so that Quinn can slide between her thighs. “I’m all about being thorough, Quinn, as you well know."
Quinn’s smile widens as she presses kisses down along Rachel’s neck and over her sternum. She palms Rachel’s breasts, giving them a gentle squeeze. She lifts her eyes as a thought comes to mind. She grins up at her girlfriend. “Still think I’m pusillanimous?”
Rachel blinks, momentarily forgetting the meaning of the word as Quinn’s fingers pinch at her nipples. Rachel starts to laugh, covering her face as she shakes her head. “No, Quinn. I no longer think that you’re pusillanimous.”
Quinn grins widely before pressing another kiss between Rachel’s breasts. “Good,” Quinn chuckles against warm skin. “I wouldn’t want you saying I wasn’t brave in bed.”
Author: _dangerzone911 / meremortal2k5
Pairings, Characters: Rachel/Quinn
Length: 7148
Fandom: Glee
Rating: NC-17
Spoilers: Season 1.
Disclaimer: Don't own the characters. Wish I did.
Summary: "Quinn, may we talk?"
"Quinn, may we talk?" Rachel asks, sitting leaned back against the headboard of her bed, chewing at the corner of her lip.
"Hm?" the blonde utters distractedly from across the room where she's slumped forward, head propped up with her hand, in Rachel's computer chair, working on her homework.
"I would like to take this opportunity to discuss the matter of our physical intimacy," Rachel states confidently, though the way her stomach twists and knots with nerves indicates otherwise.
Quinn turns her head in her palm to look at Rachel, eyebrow arching perfectly. "What about it?"
Rachel moves to the end of the bed, legs dangling over the edge but not reaching the floor (something Quinn still teases her about from time to time), her fingers splaying over the hem of her skirt, anxiously smoothing out the wrinkles. "Well...I-I-"
"Yes?" Quinn drawls out.
Rachel sighs under Quinn's expectant gaze. She's been meaning to talk about this, the thoughts that have been playing on her mind for the past couple of weeks, but now, when the moment to talk is finally here, her tongue feels heavy in her mouth making words difficult to form.
"Just spill it, Rachel," Quinn urges, exasperation edging her words, though it has more to do with exhaustion than it does with Rachel. Coach Sylvester has been on a war path this week, hell-bent on getting Coach Beiste fired or forcing her to quit, and with every failed attempt to get rid of the football coach, Sue has vented her anger and frustration out on her Cheerios during practice. If she wasn't in such prime shape and condition, Quinn's pretty sure she would've keeled over days ago.
"I have come to the conclusion that while I, per se, find our love-making enjoyable, I also find that we lack any kind of the variation achievable due to our ages, level of fitness and sexuality. I believe that it is highly possible and possibly probable, after our discussion, that we could take pleasure in each other without the restrictions placed on us by your fears alluding to our sexuality, your religious beliefs and your pedantic parents with their, quite frankly, lacking ideas of sex education. I trust you, Quinn and hopefully, you trust me too. As a couple, we can overcome your pusillanimity, and any concerns you may have in order to achieve, I believe, a more rounded and fulfilling sex life."
Staring blankly at Rachel, Quinn forces her tired mind to work overtime in an effort to replay and decipher the brunette's mile-a-minute monologue. The words click into place and, finally realizing what Rachel said, the blonde blinks owlishly. "Did you just say I wasn't brave in bed?" At Rachel's slight, almost imperceptible nod, Quinn bristles with offense. "What do you mean I'm not brave in bed?"
Rachel bites at the corner of her lip once more, this time to prevent herself from smiling at the expression painting Quinn's face, brows furrowed and her full bottom lip poked out into the tiniest - and cutest - pout. "During our love-making, you have the tendency of keeping to a very strict, rigid routine." Quinn narrows her eyes. "It's always pleasurable, of course. Let me be clear on that," Rachel quickly reassures, holding up her hands in defense. "What I mean to say is, I feel that you are afraid to stray from the routine we have seemingly developed since making love for the first time."
"Routine?" Quinn repeats, rolling the word over her tongue as if it were a foreign, unrecognizable word.
"Yes, routine. Before you touch me or allow me to touch you, you make sure to draw the curtains and extinguish all of the lights in my bedroom - which also seems to be part of our routine as we never make love in your bedroom - so that we are shrouded in complete darkness. Sometimes it makes me wonder if maybe you do not enjoy the sight of my body. Let me finish," Rachel says, holding up her hand when she sees Quinn's lips part as if about to speak. Quinn's jaw flexes with tension, but remains quiet. "I know that neither of us are particularly well-versed in the art of sexual relations between two girls, as we are each other's first, and I myself am not well-versed in sexual relations beyond those involving myself, but I am aware that there is more than one position that we could try as well as experimenting with the usage of various sexual paraphernalia."
"Oh, dear god," Quinn groans into her hand as she palms her face. The tips of her ears flame from embarrassment and she wonders - not for the first time - why she's dating Rachel Berry.
"Quinn, please look at me when I'm speaking to you," Rachel intones.
Quinn moves her hand from her face to her temple, using the tips of her fingers to massage it gently as she lifts her gaze to meet with Rachel's.
"I'd like to be able to take control of the situation when we're together, at least sometimes. To be able to assert my dominance over you and have you submit to me, instead of it always being the other way around," Rachel explains. "While you being on top is sexually satisfying, I would like to know what it feels like to have you writhing beneath me, panting and moaning my na-"
"Okay, can we stop now?" Quinn says, abruptly standing from the computer chair. "I really do not want to be having this conversation right now."
"But, Quinn-"
"I said I don't want to talk about this right now, Rachel," Quinn hisses, as she shoves her books into her backpack. "I'm exhausted and I have a test I need to study for, the last thing I want to talk about right now is how you apparently find our sex life unfulfilling."
"That's not what I said," Rachel contends, a frown forming.
"That's what it sounded like," Quinn says tersely.
Vaguely Rachel wonders if Quinn has experienced some sort of head trauma during practice that would result in minor hearing loss which would need checking out, because she's fairly certain she reassured the blonde more than once that she enjoys their sexual relationship.
"I'm just gonna go home," Quinn says before Rachel has a chance to argue any further.
"You don't have to leave," Rachel quickly gets up from the bed and moves towards Quinn.
"Yeah. I think I do," Quinn pulls her bag on to her shoulder and walks to the door. "I'll see you later."
"Quinn," Rachel pleads, but the blonde is already out of her room and making her way down the stairs. When she hears the front door slam shut, she sighs and sinks to the floor, drawing her legs to her chest and wrapping her arms around them.
***
The next day at school, Rachel waits by Quinn's locker hoping for a chance to talk to the blonde before class starts. Her texts to Quinn after she left had gone, unsurprisingly, unanswered and Rachel begins to worry she might have spoken out of turn last night.
Rachel checks her watch and sighs, realizing there are only a few more minutes before the bell rings and class starts. She drums her fingers against her thigh while tapping her foot rhythmically (of course) on the linoleum, anxiety beginning to seep through her small frame.
At last, she spots Quinn rounding the corner down the hall heading in her direction. Rachel straightens her posture and takes a deep breath as Quinn closes the distance between them with each step. As Quinn approaches, Rachel sees her shoulders slump and tries not to take the gesture personally and let it bother her anymore than the unreturned text messages already have.
"Hi, Quinn," Rachel says softly as Quinn comes to a stop in front of her.
"Hey," Quinn returns grumpily while dialing out the combination to her locker.
Rachel allows the less than warm greeting to roll off her shoulders; she's learned in the time they've been dating that, even when things are great between them and there have been no arguments, Quinn Fabray is not the most pleasant of people in the mornings.
Leaning in close to the blonde, so as to prevent any prying ears that might be listening from overhearing, Rachel says quietly. "I was hoping we could talk about last night."
Quinn's grip on her locker tightens as she runs her free hand through her hair before looking down at Rachel. "Rachel, I'm not having this discussion right now."
"Quinn, I feel that we need to talk about this in order to get over this hurdle that is seemingly causing problems between us," Rachel states.
"The only thing that is causing problems right now is the fact that you won't let this go," Quinn scowls, turning her attention back to her locker as she pulls out the books for her next class.
Rachel huffs indignantly. "I am only trying to maintain a line of open and honest communication between the two of us for the betterment of our relationship."
"Rachel," Quinn says calmly even as she shuts her locker with no small measure of force. She rests her forehead against the cool metal and says evenly, "Coach Sylvester ran us through the wringer yesterday at practice, which I might remind you lasted for two hours and then I was up all night studying for my A.P. chem test; I'm exhausted. And I'm really trying my hardest right now not to snap at you, but you're making that extremely difficult. You need to let this go."
"But, Quinn-"
"No 'buts', Rachel," Quinn says as she straightens, moving away from the locker. "We're not going to have this discussion right now. This is neither the time nor the place to have this talk. So, I'm asking you as nicely as I possibly can for you to, please, let this go."
Rachel frowns, but only nods in response.
"Thank you," Quinn sighs in relief, thankful that, for at least the moment, Rachel is respecting her wishes. As the bell rings, Quinn touches her hand to Rachel's shoulder and moves it down until she has Rachel's hand in hers, then gives it a small squeeze before releasing it. "I'll see you later."
"Okay," Rachel murmurs quietly, watching as Quinn walks backwards for a moment, her gaze locked with Rachel's, before turning around and heading to class.
She hopes that once school lets out for the day (she's already counting down the hours and minutes) that Quinn will be more willing to continue their discussion.
***
Rachel sits at the side of her bed, eyes trained on her phone which rests on her nightstand hoping she can will it to ring or to vibrate by the sheer force of her mind.
All throughout the rest of the day at school, she barely saw Quinn, catching only brief glances of her between classes. And during the one class they share and glee club, Quinn only acknowledged her every now and again with a tight, tired smile that didn't always reach her eyes. As the day progressed, Rachel began to fear more and more that Quinn would not only continue to avoid talking to her about the topic she had broached the previous night but also avoid talking to her altogether.
Since returning home from school, she's been doing her best to resist the urge to call or text Quinn. Even going so far as to sit on her hands in an effort to prevent herself from going against Quinn's wishes. But it feels like its going against her very nature to not call Quinn and talk through this particular issue before it causes any further disturbance in their relationship.
Her arm twitches under the weight of her anxiety and the desire to reach out and grab her phone to type out a quick message to the blonde. Before she has a chance to give into temptation, there's a knock at her bedroom door.
"Come in," she calls out, her focus still fixated on her phone. As much as she loves her fathers, she hopes whichever one of them is wanting to come in doesn't linger with her for very long and possibly cause her to miss a text or phone call (even if she does have her alerts and ringer volume turned all the way up) from Quinn.
"Hi."
Rachel turns her head, eyes wide with surprise at the sound of the blonde's voice. "Quinn? W-What are you doing here?" She shifts on the bed nervously, her voice wavering from the intensity of Quinn's gaze.
"You wanted us to talk, didn't you?" Quinn asks, her brows furrows in confusion, rolling her weight from one foot to the other.
"I did- I mean I do. But I thought you didn't want to?"
Quinn shakes her head as she moves towards the bed. "Of course I didn't want to talk," Rachel frowns at Quinn's words and Quinn can't help but roll her eyes. "I told you I was exhausted, Rachel. When I got home, I fell asleep as soon as I hit the bed. That's why I'm so late coming over here," Quinn explains, sitting down beside Rachel on the bed. "And I didn't want to talk about it at school because like I told you earlier, it wasn't the time or place to have that discussion."
"Well...you could have just told me that," Rachel says simply.
Quinn raises her eyebrow as she looks at the brunette in disbelief. "I did. Several times, in fact. You were just so determined to get your way that you didn't hear me. You know as well as I do that you can become incredibly single-minded when it comes to certain things and you pretty much develop tunnel vision."
"That's not-" Rachel stops when Quinn snorts, fixing her with a look. "Okay, so maybe it might be a little bit true. But you can't fault me for wanting to understand why you were so upset last night."
"I guess I can't," Quinn concedes. "But I wasn't upset, not really. I was just tired and I took what you said the wrong way."
"Oh," Rachel utters. She supposes she could have picked a better time, when Quinn didn't look so rundown and tired, to have that particular conversation. Now that she knows Quinn has gotten some rest, she decides to try again. "So, are you? Unattracted to my body? Is that why we always make love in complete darkness?"
Quinn lifts her head, glancing towards the window that is open, the curtains swaying from the gentle breeze blowing into the room and her eyes narrow. She grabs Rachel by the hand and pulls her from the bed, leading her to the window. "You want to know why I make sure it's dark in here and that the curtains are closed?" Raising her hand, she points out the window. "That's why."
Rachel follows Quinn's line of vision, gasping softly when she sees her next-door neighbor, a young teenaged boy named John, peering out of his window straight into hers with a pair of binoculars.
Quinn folds her fingers down, leaving only the middle standing as she offers him a one-finger salute. A smirk spreads across her lips as the boy drops the binoculars and quickly ducks down under the window. Drawing the curtains closed, Quinn turns her attention back to Rachel. "I've noticed him peeking in here before when I've been over here. That's why, even when we're not doing anything, I close the curtains. I'd rather not put on a show for the little perv."
Rachel's cheeks flush brightly from embarrassment. All this time she had assumed the worst, thinking Quinn wasn't attracted to her body, when in reality the blonde had only been protecting her modesty from her nosey neighbor.
"Thank you," she says as she slides her arms around Quinn's waist and lays her head against Quinn's collarbone. She releases a soft sigh at the feel of Quinn's lips pressing against the top of her head and the gentle grip of hands on her hips. A thought comes to mind and she pulls back from the embrace, tilting her head back to look up at Quinn. "Why didn't you tell me before about my peeping Tom? For all I know, he could have been watching me all this time when you aren't here and possibly have seen my naked body."
"Because the only time you get undressed in here is when we're about to..." Quinn trails off, blushing slightly. "Other than that, you get dressed and undressed in your bathroom, so I wasn't worried about him seeing anything that he wasn't supposed to see. The most he's probably seen you do is sing into your hairbrush in front of your mirror."
Rachel considers Quinn's explanation for a moment and then realizes that the blonde is probably right. "At least now I know to always keep my curtains closed, or at the very least, to make sure I'm never in his line of sight. Honestly didn't his parents teach him about respecting other people's privacy?"
"I guess not," Quinn laughs softly as Rachel's arms fall from around her waist and they both move back over to the bed.
"I can accept your explanation as to why we must always have the lights off, but that doesn't explain why we cannot make love in your room. I would think, if anything, my neighbor's prying eyes alone would cause you to want us to be intimate in the safety of your room."
"You really have no idea of how loud you can get, do you?" Quinn asks dryly, with a wry smile which causes Rachel's cheeks to flush once more. "As much as my mom likes you and is fine with our relationship, I think hearing us would be pushing things a little much, don't you think?" Rachel nods meekly. "Besides that, since I moved back in, you know that she has no concept of space and would probably walk in on as at some point. At least your dads give us some warning when they're about to come upstairs and then, knock on the door and wait until we give the all clear."
"I do not think I am all that loud, Quinn," Rachel argues. "I will concede that I have a very powerful voice, but my fathers have never complained about hearing us in the midst of our sexual congress."
"Your room has been sound-proofed ever since your neighbors collectively filed a noise complaint with the police and threatened to press charges if something wasn't done to, and I quote, 'shut you up or to find a way to block any and all sound coming from your room'," Quinn snorts.
"That's rather rude. I haven't filed a complaint or threatened to press charges against John and his peeping Tom ways."
"That's because you just now found out about it. I'm surprised you haven't already marched over there and urged," Quinn uses air-quotes, "him not to peek anymore unless he wants the wrath of the local ACLU branch to rain down on him."
"I'm not sure that the ACLU handles cases such as these."
"You know what I mean," Quinn says, nonplussed, bumping her shoulder gently against Rachel's.
Rachel frowns at the turn this conversation has taken. With each issue she brings up with Quinn, the blonde has a reasonable explanation behind her actions. And while she should be happy about that fact, she can't help but think there is more to it than Quinn is letting on. "You've seemed to have an answer for everything thus far, Quinn. Answers that aren't altogether unreasonable, I suppose. But can you explain to me now, why there is little to no variation in our sexual performances?"
Quinn moves her hands nervously over the denim covering her thighs. This is the part of the conversation that she least looked forward to - the most awkward part. Standing, she moves around the end of the bed, rubbing at the back of her neck trying to figure out the best way to explain this to Rachel as quickly and painlessly as possible.
Rachel shifts on the bed and leans against the headboard, waiting patiently as she watches Quinn pace along the edge of her bed, reminding her of an animal restless in its cage.
"You and almost everyone else in this town knows about my first time," Quinn says suddenly, stopping the pacing as she turns to look at Rachel. "It only happened because I felt disgusted with my body, felt like I was fat, and Puck was there plying me with wine coolers and telling me how beautiful I was and that I wasn't fat. Being surprisingly sweet. Well as close to sweet as Puck can be."
Rachel nods even though she's unsure of what Quinn's past dalliance with Noah has to do with their current situation.
"And at any other time, I could and would have turned him down like I had so many times before," Quinn admits and she hears Rachel draw in a surprised breath. Though her encounter with Puck is common knowledge at this point, she knows that she and Puck are the only ones who know he made advances towards her before. "But I was vulnerable, and I gave in. I trusted him to wear protection, but obviously my trust was misplaced as we all know what happened next. When I found out I was pregnant, I decided then that, if and when I ever had sex again, it would be on my terms. That I would be the one in control so I'd never end up in a situation like that again."
"Quinn, I'm not sure if you're aware of this, but I lack the proper sexual organs needed to impregnate you, so it is highly improbable, outside of immaculate conception, that our sexual relations could result in another pregnancy," Rachel says, tactless as ever.
"That wasn't the point, Rachel," Quinn glares. "I know that you can't get me pregnant, but the thought of feeling and being that open and vulnerable again, like I was my first time, wasn't and isn't something I am comfortable with."
"Oh, Quinn," Rachel says softly, now realizing and understanding Quinn's meaning, as she moves from her position on the bed to stand beside Quinn. Wrapping her arms around Quinn's waist, she pulls her close to her chest and places a kiss on Quinn's shoulder. "You know I would never betray your trust or intentionally do anything to hurt you. Well... not anymore," Rachel amends with a sad look, remembering memories from the past. "You are safe with me."
"I know," Quinn hums contentedly as Rachel rubs small circles soothingly at the base of her spine. "But sometimes it's hard to let go."
"I understand," Rachel mutters into the soft, sweetly-scented skin beneath her lips.
"But that's not the only reason why I like to be in control, though," Quinn adds a couple minutes later, as a mischievious smile forms.
"Oh?"
Quinn raises her hands to cup Rachel's face and tilts her head down, brushing her lips against Rachel's in a soft kiss. As she pulls back, she grins at the way Rachel's eyes slowly flutter open. "I don't know if you know this but you, Rachel Berry, are a total control freak." Her grin widens, flashing brilliantly white teeth when Rachel scoffs, knowing the words I am not desperately want to fall from full lips. "You like to be in control of just about everything, so I like those moments when I can coax the tight rein of control away from you."
Her admission causes something to spark inside Rachel, reigniting her desire to have Quinn trembling with pleasure beneath her, to have her name tumble past Quinn's lips in a breathy moan.
"Is that so?" Rachel drawls, eyebrows arching, perfectly imitating Quinn's trademark raised brow. "Well, perhaps I would like to, as you say, coax away from you the tight rein of control you have while we're making love."
Though the tone in Rachel's voice sends a shiver down her spine and causes her chest to tighten, Quinn isn't sure she's ready to allow herself to be that vulnerable again, even with Rachel. "I-I don't know."
"Do you trust me, Quinn?" Rachel presses, undeterred. Quinn nods slightly, looking everywhere but at Rachel. "Perhaps then, I could make some suggestions?"
Quinn's brows furrow. "What kind of suggestions?"
Rachel purses her lips in thought. She feels the corners of her lips lift into a smirk. "You seem to enjoy," she moves so that her mouth is close to Quinn's ear as she presses the palm of hand against the blonde's abdomen, feeling the muscles twitch from her touch beneath the thin cotton shirt, "when I manipulate you with my fingers."
Quinn swallows thickly, her nod of agreement barely perceptible.
"What if I used something other than my fingers?" Rachel breathes against the delicate shell of her girlfriend's ear while slowly dragging her nails down from the edge of Quinn's rib-cage to just below her navel. "What if..." Rachel pauses for a brief second, her thumb slipping underneath Quinn's shirt and circling around the smooth skin around her belly button, each stroke leaving Quinn's skin burning in it's wake, "instead of using my fingers to bring you pleasure, I used my mouth? My tongue?"
"I-I, I d-don't know, Rachel," Quinn gasps, even as her eyes snap shut and her heart thuds heavily in her chest, her mind becoming overwhelmed with images evoked by Rachel's words.
"I must confess something, Quinn," Rachel slowly moves around the blonde, trailing her fingertips over Quinn's hipbone as she goes. "When we make love," Rachel sweeps Quinn's hair away from her neck and leans up, peppering her nape with feather-soft kisses, "and I feel your wetness coating my thighs," Quinn shudders as a strangled moan emanates from somewhere deep inside and Rachel smiles into her neck. "I think about what it would be like to taste you."
"Rachel," Quinn groans, fisting the hem of her shirt in her hand and drawing in a shaky breath as she tries in vain to return her breathing to normal.
Curling her fingers around Quinn's hip, Rachel inches forward while, at the same time, gently guiding the blonde until her back is flush against her. "You can't even begin to fathom how often I think about that." Rachel's lips ghosts a trail from Quinn's nape to the patch of skin beneath her ear, while she grazes the back of her fingers down Quinn's arm, causing the blonde to shiver and goosebumps to rise.
Knees trembling and weak, Quinn struggles to remain upright under the effect of Rachel's words, which is only amplified her every touch, as her head falls back against the brunette's shouder, arousal burning hot in her belly.
"How often I fantasize about parting your thighs and nestling between them," Rachel purrs while nuzzling along the edge of Quinn's ear with the tip of her nose as she reaches around, the fingers of her left hand splaying across Quinn's stomach, "your fingers threading through my hair and your heels digging into my back," A soft whimper escapes Quinn's lips as Rachel holds her close, continuing to graze her right hand down the blonde's arm until she can slide her hand into Quinn's, "as I slip my tongue inside of you, finally tasting you after having wanted to for so long."
Quinn swallows hard as her mind plays over Rachel’s spoken scenario. She shudders in her girlfriend’s arms and squeezes the hand in hers.
"Do you ever think about it, Quinn?" Rachel licks at her lips, tasting her lip gloss and Quinn, but wanting more than the subtle saltiness and hint of perfume on her lips. "Do you ever think of me, doing that to you?" She moves the hand on Quinn’s stomach a little lower, feeling the slight movement of Quinn’s hips as her body trembles. "Do you ever wonder what it would be like for you, if I tasted you?"
“You’d do that?” Quinn whispers. She really isn’t sure of her footing when it comes to sex in any form. She was always taught that nice girls didn’t do it except for procreation and they certainly shouldn’t enjoy it, but Quinn does enjoy making love with her girlfriend and she does wonder what it would be like if Rachel used her mouth on her. She is afraid though; Rachel had hit that particular nail on the head, no matter how much she loathes admitting it, even only to herself. What if Rachel doesn’t like the way she tastes or smells or even her reactions to having that done to her?
Rachel’s brows furrow at the anxiety in her girlfriends tremulous voice. She moves back around Quinn until they’re face to face. Looking up into her hazel eyes she smiles gently and nods her head. “I really, really would, Quinn.”
“Really, really?” Quinn’s lips quirk up.
Rachel nods again, her eyes glitter in mirth. “If you let me.” She dips her eyes before looking back up through thick lashes. Rachel captures her bottom lip between sharp teeth when she see’s the hunger flash behind hazel eyes.
“I thought that you wanted to be the top for once,” Quinn smirks at Rachel’s little concession. Perhaps they have become a little routine.
Rachel blinks. “I do.”
Taking a deep breath and releasing it slowly, Quinn reaches out to touch her fingertips to Rachel’s mouth. “What if you don’t like it?” She strokes her thumb over Rachel’s lips, imagining how they would feel kissing her elsewhere.
“I seriously doubt that that will be the case.”
“Then do it, Rach,” Quinn lets the words out in a rush and feels the blush heating her cheeks, slowly paint its way down her neck and over her chest. She keeps her eyes locked with Rachel’s, knowing that she needs to push through her fears for both herself and her girlfriend.
Rachel breathes a shuddery breath. She steps closer towards Quinn as she drags her fingertips up along Quinn’s forearm and over her bicep. She momentarily revels in the feel of silky hair, running through her fingers before she cups Quinn’s head tenderly and pulls her down for a kiss.
Rachel’s fingers drop to Quinn’s waist. She slowly starts to drag Quinn’s top up along her stomach and over her chest, only stepping away long enough to remove the garment completely before returning her hands to Quinn’s waist and resuming their soft kisses. Rachel grazes her nails over the taut flesh of Quinn’s stomach, scratching lightly until she reaches the waist band of Quinn’s pants. She fingers the button, slides down the zip and pushes the denim over gently rounded hips.
This isn’t new for Quinn; but she still trembles under Rachel’s hands because this is Rachel’s show and as hard as it is not to take over, push her girlfriend down onto the bed and climb on top of her, Quinn is really enjoying the simple pleasure of Rachel undressing her as they kiss. Her breath hitches when Rachel steps back again, separating from her long enough to remove blouse, skirt and cami top, a smirk on her lips and her eyes impossibly darker than Quinn has ever seen them before. As Rachel stands before her in nothing but her little blue panties, Quinn resists the urge to take back the control and make Rachel hers.
Rachel looks at Quinn as she nips at her lip. She sees the fight warring behind her girlfriend’s eyes, so she smiles and steps back into Quinn until their bodies are flush. Warm skin against warm skin. “Trust me, Quinn.”
“I- I do,” Quinn wraps her arms around Rachel and buries her face in the crook of her neck, taking in the calming scent that is all Rachel. “I didn’t think it would be this hard.”
“I love you,” Rachel strokes Quinn’s back in soothing sweeps. She curls her fingers as she moves up and down the blonde’s spine, using her nails in a way that always makes Quinn purr. Rachel feels Quinn’s shuddery breaths against her throat and her fingers grip and release her shoulders. “I won’t ever hurt you,” Rachel sighs softly. She nuzzles into Quinn, pressing soft kisses just under Quinn’s ear, waiting until her girlfriend regains her composure.
Quinn draws in a long breath and releases it slow. She lifts her head until hazel eyes meets the warmed dark chocolate color of Rachel’s eyes. “I trust you.”
Rachel smiles widely. She never doubted Quinn's trust in her but it was nice to hear. Slowly, she walks Quinn back until her legs hit Rachel’s wooden bed frame. Rachel presses her mouth to Quinn’s, pushing gently until Quinn gets the message to sit down and scoot along the comforter with Rachel following.
Quinn lays back against the pillows, her mouth sliding sensuously against Rachel’s. She gasps when Rachel blankets her body. Having the diminutive brunette lay on top of her feels so different to having the lumbering oppressive weight of Finn covering her completely, or the hard body of Puck pressing painfully against her. Rachel is all soft curves that fit her in exactly the right way. She opens her mouth, allowing Rachel’s inquisitive tongue past her lips. No one kisses her like Rachel; she always seems to know what she needs, whether it be bruising kisses that leave her breathless or soft wet kisses that has her internally begging for more.
Rachel slips between Quinn’s legs as they continue to kiss deeply. She moves her hands between them and flicks the front clasp on Quinn’s bra, pulling the soft cotton material apart, shuffling a bit until the full warm weight of her breasts press against Quinn’s. Rachel slides her lips along Quinn’s jaw as Quinn gasps. She kisses the blondes neck just below her ear and starts to suck and kiss lightly as she makes her way downwards. Rachel stops momentarily at the hollow of Quinn’s throat. She feels Quinn’s pulse under her lips and kisses it reverently before moving on.
Quinn chokes on a ragged gasp as wet lips suckle alternately at her nipples. Sharp nails toy with her rib cage and waist, and Quinn’s head is beginning to swim from the different sensations that Rachel is producing in her body. She wants to press her legs together. She wants a little release from the delicious pressure building inside, but Rachel lays between them, keeping them apart. “Rach,” Quinn groans as she rocks her hips against the girl above her. “Please.”
Rachel lifts her eyes and stares into hazel, seeing her girlfriend's need. She can't help her smirk. Being a top is addictive and she now knows why Quinn enjoys it so much. She presses a kiss between Quinn’s breasts and then slowly trails little kisses down along pale skin, spending a second to dip her tongue into Quinn’s naval before continuing down.
Quinn’s stomach clenches, her body torn between arousal and apprehension. She bites at her lips, trying to stop the words forming on her tongue. Wait and don’t and oh God wanting to make their escape. Quinn covers her face with her hands, fear getting the better of her.
Rachel feels her girlfriend tense beneath her as she kisses the slight jut of Quinn’s pelvic bone. She looks up, her heart squeezing painfully at the sight of Quinn Fabray hiding her face from her. “Quinn?” Rachel rests her cheek against the top of Quinn’s thigh. “You smell so good.” She takes an audibly deep breath. “I’m salivating from scent and thought alone,” Rachel rubs her thumb back and forth over Quinn’s hip. “I want to taste you so badly, Quinn." She wants to continue on, her body screaming for to continue, but she won't until her girlfriend is more relaxed. “Don’t you want that? Don't you want to feel my tongue on you, inside of you?”
Quinn tries to take a few deep breaths from behind her hands. Rachel’s words are starting to get to her again. She shudders as Rachel presses open mouthed kisses to her sensitive skin, so close.
“Look at me, Quinn. Please.”
Quinn’s face is flushed with heat. She feels so foolish for letting things get this far and then freezing on her girlfriend, but Quinn doesn't know if she can let things continue. She pulls her hands from her face, thumping them down on the mattress by her sides. She turns her face to the side and stares at the wall. “I’m sorry.”
“Look at me, baby.”
Reluctantly, Quinn flickers her eyes down to Rachel and blinks. The other girl is breathing heavily, her dusky skin colored with arousal from her high cheek bones, down along her throat and over what Quinn could see of her chest. Rachel’s eyes are so dark.
Rachel lowers her mouth, keeping her eyes locked with Quinn’s, looking for any sign that she should stop. She licks at her lips before swiping her tongue through Quinn’s arousal. “Wow.” She rolls her tongue around her mouth, enjoying the full taste of her girlfriend.
“Really?” Quinn nips at the corner of her lip. She had barely felt Rachel’s tongue on her, but she does know that if Rachel doesn’t think she tastes disgusting, she wants Rachel to do it again and again.
Rachel nods. “So good, baby.” She licks again, slowly, dragging her tongue all the way along the crease of Quinn’s sex. She hums at the taste of her girlfriend and the feel of her soft flesh against her mouth and chin. She has been thinking about this so much and now she was finally getting to experience it.
Quinn’s eyes roll back and her hand reaches out to grab Rachel’s head. She grasps thick hair in her fingers and pulls Rachel harder against her, groaning as Rachel’s tongue touches that place that makes her come undone.
Pressing firmly with her tongue, over and over, Rachel moves so that she can use her elbows to hold Quinn’s quivering thighs apart and use her fingers at the same time. She parts Quinn with two fingers and reaches up over Quinn’s stomach so that she can link her fingers with her girlfriend's. Rachel circles the small bundle of nerves with her tongue before sucking it softly into her mouth.
Quinn arches, pushing herself further into Rachel’s talented mouth. Her fears melted away as obvious sounds of enjoyment filled her ears. The noises Rachel makes, the slurping and sucking, are obscene to Quinn’s sensibilities, but they make her blush and squirm for more all at the same time. She squeezes Rachel’s hand in hers and fists the fingers of her other hand in silky hair, needing the connection to her girlfriend as her eyes slam shut. She would love to be kissing Rachel right now, but is still cognizant enough to know that if they were kissing, she wouldn’t be feeling the amazing things that Rachel is doing to her.
Rachel flicks her tongue over and around Quinn’s slick bud before moving to push against her opening. She darts her tongue around and then presses in as far as she can while manipulating the swollen flesh with her finger tips.
Quinn grunts and rolls her hips. “Oh God.” She begins to match Rachel’s shallow thrusts with the rocking motion of her hips. “Rachel.” She gasps as she opens her eyes and looks down. Rachel is still watching her and she swears that she can feel Rachel smile so widely against her and that makes a giggle erupt from Quinn’s throat.
Rachel grins as she continues to thrust her tongue in and out, curling up to find that spot that makes her girlfriend fly. She pinches Quinn’s bud between her fingers, feeling it slip as she tries to keep her grip. Quinn’s strangled cry makes Rachel shudder, so she does it again and feels a sharp tug to her hair.
Quinn’s breath comes in harsh pants. She feels herself getting closer and closer. She has never come so quickly under Rachel’s ministrations, but the feeling is so near. When Rachel pinches her again, she feels the bite of nails and suddenly she’s coming. Quinn groans throatily, her pelvis jerks against Rachel and she freezes.
Moisture floods Rachel’s mouth as muscles flutter around her tongue. She eases her tongue from inside of her girlfriend and licks her lips, then carefully laps at Quinn until she shudders from oversensitivity and begins to pull at Rachel, pulling her back up her body until they’re face to face.
Rachel smirks as she settles in next to Quinn and Quinn can’t help but chuckle at the satisfaction in dark eyes.
“Proud of yourself?” Quinn blows out a breath, chest heaving.
Rachel’s smile widens, her dark eyes sparkle. “Very.” She presses a quick kiss to Quinn’s lip.
Quinn bites at the corner of her mouth and turns onto her side until she is leaning over the shorter girl. She pushes Rachel onto her back. “Maybe … we should discuss these other suggestions you have.”
“Really?” Rachel’s eyes widen in pleasant surprise. “I have an extensive list drawn up that we could look through whenever you’re ready. I’ve color-coded them into categories dependant on mood, time allowance and location.”
Quinn laughs at the evident eagerness. “You should get your list out, Rach.” She kisses the corner of Rachel’s mouth, the tip of her nose and then her chin. “Later though. We need to thoroughly explore this suggestion first,” She smiles easily at the confusion that causes a crease to appear between dark eyes. “I want to know what Rachel Berry tastes like.”
Rachel blinks and then shuffles into a more comfortable position so that Quinn can slide between her thighs. “I’m all about being thorough, Quinn, as you well know."
Quinn’s smile widens as she presses kisses down along Rachel’s neck and over her sternum. She palms Rachel’s breasts, giving them a gentle squeeze. She lifts her eyes as a thought comes to mind. She grins up at her girlfriend. “Still think I’m pusillanimous?”
Rachel blinks, momentarily forgetting the meaning of the word as Quinn’s fingers pinch at her nipples. Rachel starts to laugh, covering her face as she shakes her head. “No, Quinn. I no longer think that you’re pusillanimous.”
Quinn grins widely before pressing another kiss between Rachel’s breasts. “Good,” Quinn chuckles against warm skin. “I wouldn’t want you saying I wasn’t brave in bed.”