what do you want me to do, to make it happen now?
Honestly, I feel like it has been a while since I have been truly happy. I can't remember the last time I was happy, that's how bad it's gotten. I feel so lonely, like all I have is Al, which sometimes doesn't cut it. I look at other people's pictures and wish I was like them, going out with friends and going on trips and having fun. I feel like I've wasted so much of my life. I also feel like I'm stuck. I can't change it, I don't have the money, the time.. I'm stuck here for school. Like, what can I do? Is this it? Will I finish school and get stuck in yet another rut? Will I never, ever be happy? I feel like I will never be happy. I want friends, I want to laugh, I want to live life.
I just feel so sad all of the time and my heart beats fast and I feel sick and I get anxiety attacks all of the time. I don't know when things are going to get better. I'm probably depressed, but it seems usual. It's 12:30 and I'm ready for bed, I'm so fucking bored of my life. I don't want to wake up tomorrow. I want to fast forward or something, anything, to make this better.
I just feel so sad all of the time and my heart beats fast and I feel sick and I get anxiety attacks all of the time. I don't know when things are going to get better. I'm probably depressed, but it seems usual. It's 12:30 and I'm ready for bed, I'm so fucking bored of my life. I don't want to wake up tomorrow. I want to fast forward or something, anything, to make this better.