just keep swimming
yesterday was all in all a good day.
school itself sucked, as usual. i've lost an absurd amount of connections with people in school, while gaining them with people out of school. i suppose that's just life, though. still, school is miserable. the one friend i though i might be lucky enough to keep, who i thought i got to know so well, is too busy or who knows what. i feel like the same thing is happening that happened with chris earlier this year. they don't see me as close oa friend as i do them. it's sad really, that this happens. i need to reevaluate how i should perceive people's connections to me.
it's all i can do to try, but sometimes trying just wears me out and so im just compelled to interact with everyone in my immediate surroundings. regardless of how weird they think i am or how much they want me to go away. i can feel it, but its better than being alone and left to my own thoughts all the time.
after school was pretty awesome. lady came in creative writing and brought everyone the award stuff from the poetry contest. i again felt extremely embarassed. ut the stuff is cool i got a sbook on spoken word poetry, this fancy journal im afraid to write in, and lots of copies of my poem, some that are way big. i wish the crazy library lady didnt make mine so big...it's too ostentatious for me. im glad she fun making them though, i guess haha
also got cords, tassels and pins for nahs. pretty sweet. worked on the mural for madd long, did almost all the water and got like a 2 inch splinter and nice little blue tattoo on my finger. so much for fingerpainting
then i went home and then i went out and played frisbee with marty kp matt bryan and simone. marty and kp were shirtless and shoelss and looked like dirty hippies, and for the first time in a lnog time i was able to forget about all the superficial stupid pressures of finishing high school. and just lay in the grass and watch the ind blow the frisbee around and make fools of everyone
i also went to see iron man the other day with toni amber and ari. it was really fun. and i loved iron man
next week is gonig to be horrible, finals every day. and projects. blah. i want this to be done so i can start forgetting all the horrid-ness that is high school. wheterh i fucked it up myself or just got unlucky, it doesn't matter. i just wasn't meant to have many good memories of that place.
Turn your face to the sun and the shadows fall behind you.