(no subject)

[_daisyface_]

I'm really sad. I'm sad that my friends aren't happy, and i'm really confused right now. I'm afraid the usual college bullshit it catching up to me. But what i'm really afraid of is being alone. Everyone lately has been feeling like UGA "isn't for them" and they're bored and ready to go to school elsewhere. That's all fine and dandy, and you can call me jealous and a child, but I'm really afraid of being alone here. I mean, I don't hate UGA, it's a great school, and i'm thankful for all my opportunities, but i'm really upset because it seems like EVERYONE wants to get away. So, if everyone goes away, i'll be all alone here! I know that's very selfish of me, but I can't help it! I'm also a bit jealous because I, myself, don't have the opportunity to go outta state for college. Yes, I feel like I am missing out, and I have settled that within myself. BUT, if everyone else goes away, i'll be left here to dwell on my shortcomings and that won't get me ANYWHERE! I wish everyone the best, and I hope they all do what is best for them individually, but my biggest fear in life is to be alone. I feel like the one GOOD and STEADY THING about UGA is the fact that i'm around people I know, I trust, and I love. I want all my friends to be happy, but if happiness is LEAVING, i'll have to pretend it's all okay. I don't want to be alone. I know, I could and I am making new friends, but it's SO HARD for me to trust people, and I'm afraid i'll only be making superficial friendships. I can't give all of myself to someone so quickly. IT JUST ALL SUCKS. I want to support all of my kids in ALL that they do, and ALL the decisions they make, but how can I pretend i'm okay with it if I'm too scared, jealous, and sad? I'll have to force myself, I guess. I just don't know if I can stand to let them all go...
Other than that...nothing but drama ensues...
Hope things are better with you all. Tell me happy thoughts...Let me know you're still alive, leave me a message, a kind word or two, some advice, SOMETHING! Tell me i'm crazy, I don't care! Just let me know you're still there, at least halfway listening!
*Laura