Bowladrama
Last winter I was shooting a scene for my movie early in the morning, and I mean early, which is why I decided to take two of the stars of scene, Evan and Emma, out to the bar the night before, and when they wanted to call it a night? I said everyone should come back to my place. Like any good director I got my actors drunk and tired before a crack of dawn shoot, it’s a decision I think my mentor Ron Howard would be proud of.
The scene, as you would imagine, crawled along. On paper it was half a page, but after take seven it may as well have been ten pages. An exterior scene, the early winter morning wind stinging my sleep filled eyes.
When we wrapped for the morning a few of us headed for a local diner to grab some breakfast, it was that sort of grease filled breakfast that one only finds at diners frequented by John Deer hat wearer’s waited upon by a middle-aged woman with a cigarette tucked behind her ear.
As we worked are away towards clogging major arteries long time friend and former manager Dan entered the place. He had just gotten off the train, in town for the weekend to visit, and he was looking as tired as the rest of us, that is till the waitress got through with him.
She came over, bitterly picking up coffee cups from the table, refilling them with a sigh. I didn’t pay much attention, till I looked over at Dan.
His face had an expression of pain running across it, the waitress, who was pouring the coffee, was missing the cup and the hot liquid was splashing all over a stunned Dan… and Dan sat there, and sat there, not sure what to do.
Instead of exclaiming in pain, instead of saying “excuse me ma’am, I believe you are pouring scolding coffee onto me” Dan sat there until she left, turning to me finally, smile on his face.
“Did you see what just happened?”
This was the start of a very long day for the both of us.
Fast forward to that evening, Dan and I out of things to do, until one of us came across the novel idea of going bowling.
But wait, the thought process proclaimed, is it weird for two straight guys to go bowling together?
Now normally Dan and I, both secure in our masculinity, would probably have never thought of this. But that would be before the “partner’s comment”.
Flashback: September 2003 (I told you we were going to kick it Lost style), my sister Emily’s wedding. Dan and I were talking off to the side of the dance floor when the photographer came up to us. A kind and talented man, with an unfortunately limited grasp on English.
“Can I get a picture of you and your partner?” he asked me, we looked at each other awkwardly and took a step away.
So with this memory in our minds I went about trying to get a hold of some girls to join us at the bowling alley.
No luck.
So Dan and I climbed into the back of a cab alone and headed towards the lanes.
“So,” Dan started talking overly loud, “Suzy said she’s meeting us there?”
“Yeah,” I replied, picking up on what he’s doing, “She’s picking up Julie and meeting us at the alley.”
Satisfied that we had fooled the cab driver we sat back and listened to him ramble on about his view of the world, and his ex-wife.
When we arrived the parking lot seemed oddly empty, but I chalked that up to the fact that… well this is bowling.
We were in for a surprise though as we walked through the door and found the empty, dark, bowling lanes staring back at us.
A scruffy looking man with a ponytail stood behind the shoe rental desk, polishing the counter.
“Are you closed?” I asked, hoping maybe they were just trying to conserve power.
“Yup,” he croaked.
I looked at my watch, 7:30.
“Oh, when do you guys close?”
“Whenever people stop showing up,” he replied.
“Well, we showed up?”
He looked at us, then back down at the counter.
“Sorry.” He continued scrubbing.
Dan and I turned to leave, noticing the taxi was still sitting outside, the driver doing some paperwork.
Good, I thought, don’t even have to wait to call one. Dan opened the door and was about to head for the cab when it hit me.
“Wait!” I shouted as though all life on this planet depended on him not going through that door.
“We told him we were meeting two girls here. We can’t just leave alone, we’ll look like idiots!”
Dan and I stood there, looking at the cab driver filling out his paperwork. He was just sitting there, happily writing stuff down, as though he was just screwing with us, waiting to call our bluff.
“What if we call the cab company and ask for the taxi a few blocks away? Chances are they’ll send him, right?” suggested Dan.
It was genius, we’d send the driver a few blocks away, call back and get another cab to pick us up before the other cabbie even realizes there was no one to pick up. It was perfect; we were home free… until the plan didn’t work.
“We could walk back to my place?” I suggested. A snowstorm kicked in as if on cue.
It was at that point that pony-tail decided to lock up for the night. Looking at one another, sighing, Dan and I sheepishly climbed into the cab.
“How was bowling?” asked the driver, smiling ear to ear.
The scene, as you would imagine, crawled along. On paper it was half a page, but after take seven it may as well have been ten pages. An exterior scene, the early winter morning wind stinging my sleep filled eyes.
When we wrapped for the morning a few of us headed for a local diner to grab some breakfast, it was that sort of grease filled breakfast that one only finds at diners frequented by John Deer hat wearer’s waited upon by a middle-aged woman with a cigarette tucked behind her ear.
As we worked are away towards clogging major arteries long time friend and former manager Dan entered the place. He had just gotten off the train, in town for the weekend to visit, and he was looking as tired as the rest of us, that is till the waitress got through with him.
She came over, bitterly picking up coffee cups from the table, refilling them with a sigh. I didn’t pay much attention, till I looked over at Dan.
His face had an expression of pain running across it, the waitress, who was pouring the coffee, was missing the cup and the hot liquid was splashing all over a stunned Dan… and Dan sat there, and sat there, not sure what to do.
Instead of exclaiming in pain, instead of saying “excuse me ma’am, I believe you are pouring scolding coffee onto me” Dan sat there until she left, turning to me finally, smile on his face.
“Did you see what just happened?”
This was the start of a very long day for the both of us.
Fast forward to that evening, Dan and I out of things to do, until one of us came across the novel idea of going bowling.
But wait, the thought process proclaimed, is it weird for two straight guys to go bowling together?
Now normally Dan and I, both secure in our masculinity, would probably have never thought of this. But that would be before the “partner’s comment”.
Flashback: September 2003 (I told you we were going to kick it Lost style), my sister Emily’s wedding. Dan and I were talking off to the side of the dance floor when the photographer came up to us. A kind and talented man, with an unfortunately limited grasp on English.
“Can I get a picture of you and your partner?” he asked me, we looked at each other awkwardly and took a step away.
So with this memory in our minds I went about trying to get a hold of some girls to join us at the bowling alley.
No luck.
So Dan and I climbed into the back of a cab alone and headed towards the lanes.
“So,” Dan started talking overly loud, “Suzy said she’s meeting us there?”
“Yeah,” I replied, picking up on what he’s doing, “She’s picking up Julie and meeting us at the alley.”
Satisfied that we had fooled the cab driver we sat back and listened to him ramble on about his view of the world, and his ex-wife.
When we arrived the parking lot seemed oddly empty, but I chalked that up to the fact that… well this is bowling.
We were in for a surprise though as we walked through the door and found the empty, dark, bowling lanes staring back at us.
A scruffy looking man with a ponytail stood behind the shoe rental desk, polishing the counter.
“Are you closed?” I asked, hoping maybe they were just trying to conserve power.
“Yup,” he croaked.
I looked at my watch, 7:30.
“Oh, when do you guys close?”
“Whenever people stop showing up,” he replied.
“Well, we showed up?”
He looked at us, then back down at the counter.
“Sorry.” He continued scrubbing.
Dan and I turned to leave, noticing the taxi was still sitting outside, the driver doing some paperwork.
Good, I thought, don’t even have to wait to call one. Dan opened the door and was about to head for the cab when it hit me.
“Wait!” I shouted as though all life on this planet depended on him not going through that door.
“We told him we were meeting two girls here. We can’t just leave alone, we’ll look like idiots!”
Dan and I stood there, looking at the cab driver filling out his paperwork. He was just sitting there, happily writing stuff down, as though he was just screwing with us, waiting to call our bluff.
“What if we call the cab company and ask for the taxi a few blocks away? Chances are they’ll send him, right?” suggested Dan.
It was genius, we’d send the driver a few blocks away, call back and get another cab to pick us up before the other cabbie even realizes there was no one to pick up. It was perfect; we were home free… until the plan didn’t work.
“We could walk back to my place?” I suggested. A snowstorm kicked in as if on cue.
It was at that point that pony-tail decided to lock up for the night. Looking at one another, sighing, Dan and I sheepishly climbed into the cab.
“How was bowling?” asked the driver, smiling ear to ear.