&&
I'm sorry I'm hard to live with -living is the problem for me.
Got yrbooks yesterday, no one really has signed mine yet. I'm saving a page for Mel, Dani, Mar, Tina and Julie. (yea two of them are in TZ but whoocaress). I stayed after for the 2hr detention &hungout w/ Angela Litzzz +Kristy Colby mostly. I had a voice lesson, Terri gave me presents! Victoria's Secret body splash, an angel to hang over my bed (to protect me), a glass angel, a gorgeously written card and a lipgloss kit. I am beyond fond of her, and she loves me too. Next week is superrr busy, so I can't go to lessons for most of the summer bc of conflicting 'activities'/things to do. We'll still hangout. My mom is ridiculous. She's all like 'what's making you so upset you can't study? I don't want to makeyou more upset than you arleady are but I have to yell at you to get through to you. why do you do this to me? why do you want to fail?' EWW shutup!! I DON'T WANT to fail, I just don't put forth effort.. that doesn't mean I want to fail either. I guess. I shoulddd study.. but I fail anyway so who gives a damn! I'm suppositly SO smart but I fail everything. two on ela assessment.. two on ss assessment.. that's like TWO remedial classes +one bc I SO FAILED THE MATH! and who knows about science! WHO KNOWWWWWWWWWWWWS.
i never planned on this but its the way it goes
&now it all seems so familiar like pages turned on calendars
we get the same twelve months to fuck things up-year after year-
and i can't believe how down i am like the well i'm being lowered in,
now water stops, the bucket drops us farther and farther down.
well i guess that you never knew me, or at least not well enough.
because i've been practicing disappearing
and i think that i've got it down but now there is no sun just a cellar.