Nov 14, 2005 12:33
i dont even know what to say anymore...
i just never thought this would happen...to me...
...for how niice of a person i have been, and very pacient, for something good to happen to me, and all this bad stuff keeps happening to me...
... i dont think im goin to have a good heart anymore, i mean ill still be niice...but idk : /
ive been trying way to hard not to cry, over this.
...she says that she doesnt think that i realli like her, she thinks that i hate her, she likes me, but she doesnt know what i want, and she thinks that i dont kno wut i want, she thinks that i cant relate to what shes going through.
when realli i do like her, && know what i want, i cant relate to exacually wuts going on with her, but its never realli been easy for me either, okay 4 years ago my dad dies, (the only person that i used to be close too) and then after that ur mom turns into a drunk and yew have to move away for a year and a half with ur aunt and uncle all the way in waterford, and there completly differnt people then ur mom and dad, then i move bak and my mom is still a drunk and treats me like complete shit...
and this still goes on, and now i have friends that are starting to treat me like shit too, i just dont kno if i can do it anymore
i still wanna talk to her, and be her friend, and im not scared to be around her,
WHY DOES EVERYTHING HAVE TO BE SO CONFUSING
why cant it all be...be...just happy...
but i never get what i want..so whatever, im seriously about readi to say fuck everything and start completly over...somewhere else...
(p.s)
and its amazing how ur real friends realli can tell whats up, when yew dont even say anything about it :/
<3
Always
Luann