The blood stops but the wounds will never heal.
I got in an argument with my Mother again, you know how that goes. This week has been horrible. That just fed the fire. I hate these arguments because I cannot talk back to her. I mean, I cannot even defend myself. I wish I was younger. So, whenever she got mad, she would solve everything by just hitting me. Words hurt too much. They stick by you, while the bruises eventually heal. Maybe I am wrong to say this, but I look back and hate her for not aborting me. She told me so many times that she was going to abort me, but she could not find a ride. Oh how I feel loved. All I want is a family. Maybe I am the one that is the flaw of this family. Why it has fallen apart, may be my fault. Everyone thinks I am a malicious bitch, am I? I look all around me.. I see my sister being loved by her boyfriend, my sister by her friends, who call her every fucking minute. My brother has his girlfriend and his little girl. My older brother has my mother in the clutch of his hand. I turn the other way and I see the ugly that I wished had never been revealed. I turn away from the mirror because it hurts a lot. Er… I hate being me. Man, I’m tired of everything, I do not know how long I can take it. I’m fucking 16 years old! Shit man, most 16 year olds are living off their mothers, taking trips to see their “Loves’ and shit. They have money saved up and shit, most don’t even work. I have to worry about rent, buying my own shit, and going walking to pick up my shit faced sister. I fucking hate her so much! Anyway I was going to bitch more, but I won’t.