(no subject)
He's gone.
He told me I would regret these things,
and I laughed and said, "No, not I."
But he was right.
I do regret them.
"It's never too late."
Oh, but it is.
He told me before it was too late that it would be too late.
I just shrugged, and said, "So?"
I'm an ice queen.
A ......
He was the only boy who never hit.
Who never yelled, or expected too much.
He would beg to hold my hand, or touch my lips,
and I would deny him.
I would shrug away, and he never pulled me back.
Even in his drunken-ness, he wasn't really mean.
But there was a hint of something not right.
An undertone of anger in his sighs.
A cocky attitude that didn't fit quite right.
"Boys like this have every right to be cocky, Asha.
Have you seen how pretty he is?"
Yes, I was always well aware of his beauty,
but you see..they don't.
"Oh well, honey. It's his loss."
No, you see..it's mine.
I had nothing to offer, but he - he had everything.
And really, that's not what makes me sad.
It's that I let myself push him away.
That I gave into my fear.
&Most of all..that he was home this month.
&After wishing on all of the stars in the sky,
he still didn't call..
"Don't let this get to you."
..Easier said than done.
When I looked at him, I saw
someone who had purpose.
Someone who walked with an ease
most of us never find.
He was everything I've ever loved in anyone
else.
Feel my forehead, dear.
I think I'm coming down
with a heartache tonight.