blessed
i feel so blessed to have the strength i have right now, when so many others do not. and i know without a doubt, maura gave me that strength. she is my inspiration, my daily reminder to LIVE LIFE and LOVE the life you live, and i hope to honor her spirit through my own accomplishments.
i feel blessed to have had her as my best friend. to have a second sister, someone who you loved and felt completely open around. i remember the laughter, i remember the FUN, i remember nothing but the good times. I remember when she pulled out Chewbaca's hair at Disneyworld, and when we coreographed dances after school, when we sang Marilyn Monroe songs and performed it every chance we got, I remember taking dance classes together and being so much worse than the 10 year olds in our class, I remember joining the track team together and sitting in the middle of the field when we were tired, I remember choir trips and concerts, I remember playing in the rain, I remember sharing boyfriends, I remember being jealous of her boobs, I remember her smile, I remember the way her hair felt, I remember her tiny feet and hands, I remember calling her cousin Marshmallow, I remember staying up all night making our Flinstones costumes, I remember her dog Rascal eating my cream cheese, I remember all the notes written, I remember her first kiss, I remember our youth group at church every wednesday night, I remember her beautiful voice, I remember the shape of her fingernails, I remember her house- every detail, I remember her Dad pouring beer on my legs after I fell down while we were camping, I remember trying to play her sister's trombone, I remember dressing up as Spice Girls for fun, I remember endless phone conversations- back before call waiting and we'd tie up the phone lines all night long, I remember when we played French Horn because our arms weren't long enough to play the Trombone- our true wish, I remember our scrapbooks, our homecoming dances, our vacations, but most of all...I remember the laughter. And the rolling apples....the rolling apples will always be for Maura only.
I'm sad because I miss her. I've missed her for so long. I can't believe she is gone, but I am trying my hardest to accept it. I know it's okay, I know she's singing up in Heaven. I know God has a plan for her and her loved ones. And I know she gives me strength through her strength. I know she fought the good fight and I will forever and always be grateful to call her my best friend, to know her, to love her, and to have had the time I did with her.
Maura is the most beautiful person I have ever known, inside and out. And she will forever be my sister. She gives me hope in this world. I want to do the things in life she didn't get the chance to, and I want to do them for her. I want to sing for her, I want to travel the world for her, I want to honor her beauty and faith and joy.
God has blessed me with an amazing friend and amazing strength through this all. I know I am not fully comprehending things right now, but it's okay. It's all okay. Where some have found no hope, no peace, and no beauty from this whole experience, I have found all of those things. Maura showed them to me. And I cannot be weak and give up hope. She never did, so neither can I. She is amazing. So beautiful, so strong, and such an inspiration to us all.
So please, live your life to its fullest. Don't let stupid petty things ruin your days, your years, your happiness. Don't even let the really hard times stop you from appreciating life. Appreciate every moment you can. I sat in my kitchen window watching the wind blow a curtain in an open window for a very long time....simply because it was beautiful. And on my way to dinner, I looked up and saw a sign that said "Life is beautiful" and had a little yellow butterfly on it. Maura loves butterflies and loves yellow and of course, loved life. I felt...so happy.
The tears still come, but this has opened my eyes to so much. I'm trying hard to never regret the things that didn't get said, the things that didn't get done, but it is hard. There will always be that yearning to see her, to laugh, to reunite. But we will, I just have to be patient. Someday it will happen. And we will sing together again, and dance through Heaven.
I love you, Maura. You are just....amazing.
www.mauraupdate.blogspot.com
the local news in houston aired a story about her tonight. it's on the blog.
i feel blessed to have had her as my best friend. to have a second sister, someone who you loved and felt completely open around. i remember the laughter, i remember the FUN, i remember nothing but the good times. I remember when she pulled out Chewbaca's hair at Disneyworld, and when we coreographed dances after school, when we sang Marilyn Monroe songs and performed it every chance we got, I remember taking dance classes together and being so much worse than the 10 year olds in our class, I remember joining the track team together and sitting in the middle of the field when we were tired, I remember choir trips and concerts, I remember playing in the rain, I remember sharing boyfriends, I remember being jealous of her boobs, I remember her smile, I remember the way her hair felt, I remember her tiny feet and hands, I remember calling her cousin Marshmallow, I remember staying up all night making our Flinstones costumes, I remember her dog Rascal eating my cream cheese, I remember all the notes written, I remember her first kiss, I remember our youth group at church every wednesday night, I remember her beautiful voice, I remember the shape of her fingernails, I remember her house- every detail, I remember her Dad pouring beer on my legs after I fell down while we were camping, I remember trying to play her sister's trombone, I remember dressing up as Spice Girls for fun, I remember endless phone conversations- back before call waiting and we'd tie up the phone lines all night long, I remember when we played French Horn because our arms weren't long enough to play the Trombone- our true wish, I remember our scrapbooks, our homecoming dances, our vacations, but most of all...I remember the laughter. And the rolling apples....the rolling apples will always be for Maura only.
I'm sad because I miss her. I've missed her for so long. I can't believe she is gone, but I am trying my hardest to accept it. I know it's okay, I know she's singing up in Heaven. I know God has a plan for her and her loved ones. And I know she gives me strength through her strength. I know she fought the good fight and I will forever and always be grateful to call her my best friend, to know her, to love her, and to have had the time I did with her.
Maura is the most beautiful person I have ever known, inside and out. And she will forever be my sister. She gives me hope in this world. I want to do the things in life she didn't get the chance to, and I want to do them for her. I want to sing for her, I want to travel the world for her, I want to honor her beauty and faith and joy.
God has blessed me with an amazing friend and amazing strength through this all. I know I am not fully comprehending things right now, but it's okay. It's all okay. Where some have found no hope, no peace, and no beauty from this whole experience, I have found all of those things. Maura showed them to me. And I cannot be weak and give up hope. She never did, so neither can I. She is amazing. So beautiful, so strong, and such an inspiration to us all.
So please, live your life to its fullest. Don't let stupid petty things ruin your days, your years, your happiness. Don't even let the really hard times stop you from appreciating life. Appreciate every moment you can. I sat in my kitchen window watching the wind blow a curtain in an open window for a very long time....simply because it was beautiful. And on my way to dinner, I looked up and saw a sign that said "Life is beautiful" and had a little yellow butterfly on it. Maura loves butterflies and loves yellow and of course, loved life. I felt...so happy.
The tears still come, but this has opened my eyes to so much. I'm trying hard to never regret the things that didn't get said, the things that didn't get done, but it is hard. There will always be that yearning to see her, to laugh, to reunite. But we will, I just have to be patient. Someday it will happen. And we will sing together again, and dance through Heaven.
I love you, Maura. You are just....amazing.
www.mauraupdate.blogspot.com
the local news in houston aired a story about her tonight. it's on the blog.