(no subject)

[_cows_care_too_]

I  think I figured out why it was so important for me to tell you. It really wasn't out of obligation, out of a feeling that you had a right to know. It was desperation. I was so sick of hating myself, I was desperate to tell someone, so that they could tell me I'm wrong. There's no reason to hate myself. That I'm still a good person, that I'm still someone who deserves a place in the world, deserves to be happy. I wanted someone to slay the dragon that makes me tear at my skin in anguish for this.
Maybe I should have thought it through. I thought I did...
Maybe that's why I don't feel the beautiful relief, the release I expected to feel...
But no. I just feel more disgust at myself. I'm sorry for the burden I put on you. Thank you for your lesson, your guidance: 
Trust is an acid. It's better to keep it bottled up inside of you, because the second you let it leak out, it'll just burn.
----------------------------------

"I put my faith in you, so much faith
And then you... just threw it away"
-Paramore