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My name is Jerry Romero, and I am 23 years old. If you have found this journal, it is through your own actions. I will not comment on other entries in an attempt to make friends. I am leaving this in the hands of Fate and no-one else. This journal was created solely for the purpose of providing one last lifeline in a vast sea of hopelessness

Comments

[anonymous]

I'm afraid to say there is no higher power. And even if there was a god I doubt u can bargain with him like u r doing now "I'll kill myself if u don't show u exist" religion is all about faith. If u need proof u r lacking in it. I know how depression is and if u want to kill urself, if it gives u some peace than good for u. But realise death truly is the end there's no afterlife or any of that. Well I don't think that is and its not really worth gambling on. What's wrong with a world based on accidents and chance. I think a world based on destiny would be much more horrible, one controlled by powers beyond your grasp. If a higher power existed u don't even know they'd be good. You don't know Gods not just evil and manipulative and playing games with us all. But I don't believe. A life without a higher power empowers us as human beings. It means no rules, it means we are free. And its hard being free and its hard living a life without ne real meaning. But u learn to live for the sake of living or die cos u just can't be bothered with life. I've tried suicide I'm not exactly pro life. The worlds a horrible place but its not so bad if u sink down to its level. Its not lack of God that makes the world bad it's just how it is.

From Kylie E

PRO-CHOICE

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Thank you for your comment. I would be interested to know how you discovered my journal.

I am bipolar. Sometimes I believe that there must be a higher power, and sometimes I believe that we are simply floating through space on a precarious tether. It really depends on whether I am on a high or low at the time. Looking back, you may be confused by my statements about the afterlife and Fate. I have hope for a higher purpose, but I've never truly believed in one. I apologise if this was unclear. My thoughts are muddled at times. I feel as if I am swinging back and forth between hope for intervention and hopelessness for anything more to life.

Jerry, I know of someone whose love 4U is greater than all the hate these people have 4u combined!

[anonymous]

Hey Jerry

don't listen to the SA morons telling you to go through with it.

Just ignore those comments and look for comments from people actually trying to help you or give you good advice. You'll find that there is actually a decent number of people that care. More than the 'one voice' you said you required.

Go seek help, not from people on the internet (although you could try to get in contact with the people who were friendly to you that have a LiveJournal or posted their e-mail) but from professionals. Get medication and a therapist. Right now it may seem that those will be useless because maybe you think you're beyond help (I used to think that too) but they aren't, they can be a tremendous help. Believe me, I know.

As for evidence of a higher power, I'm a Christian, but I'm not quite sure what I'd have to say to make you believe in God. All I can say is that even though I know nothing about you, I still know for a FACT that God loves you very much and cares about you, and that He does NOT want you to kill yourself. You see, to God, every person is valuable, no matter what they've done and no matter what other people think of them. No person is beyond help as far as God is concerned, He can bring you from the brink of despair into a new life.

Besides getting medicated and seeing a therapist, which you absolutely MUST do because your problems are obviously too great for you to resolve on your own, you should go to www.christiananswers.net to find out about God's love for you, which is greater than you could imagine. Visiting a church and talking to a pastor is also recommended, I guarantee you that most pastors will care about your situation and try to help you out as good as they can, if you meet one that doesn't, go to another church.

Please don't go through with it, you'll hurt a lot of people who care about you, and your life CAN be better than it is right now if you just seek help. I don't know what else to say right now, but if you have any further questions or something, reply to this comment and I'll try to help you out. But please stop threatening to take your life if you do not get enough support, because you are placing an urfair burden on the people who do try to support you. You cannot ask of them to be responsible for your life.

I wish you all the best
Hans
Netherlands

Re: Jerry, I know of someone whose love 4U is greater than all the hate these people have 4u combine

[anonymous]

OMFG

This person is delusional and dangerous. You are more important than any superstitious mythology. And I've never read of any facts to prove God exits. God simply doesn't exist outside personal experience. And the very nature of that kind of experience that only removes the individual from any collective experience. What is important is the connection that individuals make with one another. A mythological God doesn't matter - you and I do.

I am truly sorry you want to die. I wish I could promise you paradise forever. I can't. But if you kill yourself I will lose the chance, forever, to meet, to talk to and to connect with you as a satient being.

That makes me sad.

Re: Jerry, I know of someone whose love 4U is greater than all the hate these people have 4u combine

[anonymous]

Oh, yes. The man is about to kill himself, and you tell him to seek the counsel of a vengeful sky spirit that once kicked people out of a garden for eating an apple. Good plan, Cheeves.

[appear_my_dear]

very sensitive of you...jackass

[appear_my_dear]

everyone needs self worth, in his case, he just needs someone to help him along. i don't pity him, but i do want ot help him in some way, if that makes me immature in your eyes, i don't really care

must agree with joffe

[origin4l_sin]

unfortunately others cannot determine your own self worth. you must decide on that. to reach out for help on the internet, crying for one voice that will procure a meaning in the chaos of life, a hope...is a cry from one who wants to die. you just cant find meaning or emotional support through impersonal, faceless comments.

Re: must agree with joffe

[appear_my_dear]

yes, but some people determine their own self-worth by seeing how other people react/feel towards them. and i know no one can possibly find support real support through the internet, but just a few uplifting comments can change your outlook on the world, if just for a few brief moments.

[appear_my_dear]

...what? its a picture cropped so you can only see conors face, what does it matter? sorry my icon antagonizes you.

If you were going to kill yourself youd do it right now and not set some arbitrary date you fat lose

[anonymous]

when you die can i have your car? email me chief_blaze@hotmail.com and well set something up later fat boy hahahaha

Re: If you were going to kill yourself youd do it right now and not set some arbitrary date you fat

[rexs_wife]

I had a neighbor that planned his death. He even had the date tattooed on his arm along with the date that his father committed suicide. For some reason he reached out to my younger brother and his friend for help. My brother was only 12 at the time, and didn't understand what he was doing. The neighbor basically showed him the tattoo and said what it was. I think my brother blew it off thinking he was joking or looking for pity.
He ended up killing himself. He hung himself in our front yard with some duck tape and some rope he'd borrowed from us. My little brother found him the next day when he went outside to feed the horses.
Sometimes people do plan their death for a reason. Maybe to feel like they have more control over it, or there's something special about that date.
My brother hasn't recovered completely from that and he's 18 now. He thinks he could've done something to help.
So maybe he wouldn't do it right now.

Re: If you were going to kill yourself youd do it right now and not set some arbitrary date you fat

[anonymous]

I don't think this guy could hang himself. He'd need some really heavy duty chain to get the job done...