where is my fucking reality!!??!?
I think I'm afraid to type off what I really want to say. So I hide it. Because, one way or another, it will throw itself back in my face and make me feel like shit for saying how I really felt or what REALLY went on. All of the disapproving annoys me. Why can't people just fucking accept the way that it is. I have to mask everything. This is a journal but I still can't say what I really feel. One way or another, the secrets leak out. I know far too well about that from back in high school. Am I just covering up everything with an extra layer of makeup? Instead of removing the makeup before I go to bed, I let it absorb into my skin and become apart of me. Then I start the next day and re-cover it back up. How thick is it going to get? How much will it really cover? I need something REAL.