Loss...
Taylor was broken up over Brooke's death - it hurt me to see him so sad. It is hard to know what to tell him, when death comes for us all. And Dylan, too - I have not been able to stop from thinking that perhaps I should have done something, rather than believing that Angel would manage.
Yet even now I can not see what I could have done differently - I wearied myself patrolling so that it would free up more of AI's time and if we had switched places, I know in my heart Brooke would have lived but how many others would have died to demon attacks? There is nothing I can do, there is always more death, more suffering - the Powers send Destiny visions that I can not save and then do not send me the ones that can save those I know.
It is as if we're just some sort of game to them. My father spoke of chess, although we never played it in Quor'toth. It was only practical as a theory. But this is how I feel, as if no matter what I do, the evil has a counter move and I am simply trying to eliminate as much evil as I can...
So I tell myself that for every failure, I have had successes and it helps. But it does not help when I can hear Taylor crying himself to sleep at night, for nothing I can do can save him from that pain. Now I know more clearly then ever how my father has felt. And I will continue to do all that I can to protect those that I love.
Yet even now I can not see what I could have done differently - I wearied myself patrolling so that it would free up more of AI's time and if we had switched places, I know in my heart Brooke would have lived but how many others would have died to demon attacks? There is nothing I can do, there is always more death, more suffering - the Powers send Destiny visions that I can not save and then do not send me the ones that can save those I know.
It is as if we're just some sort of game to them. My father spoke of chess, although we never played it in Quor'toth. It was only practical as a theory. But this is how I feel, as if no matter what I do, the evil has a counter move and I am simply trying to eliminate as much evil as I can...
So I tell myself that for every failure, I have had successes and it helps. But it does not help when I can hear Taylor crying himself to sleep at night, for nothing I can do can save him from that pain. Now I know more clearly then ever how my father has felt. And I will continue to do all that I can to protect those that I love.