Opulence in the threadbare negligee.
Saturday night at 9:30.
While you're all fucking and snorting cocaine (actually I really hope none of you are doing that) I'm at home awake, alone, and writing in the public journal that nobody reads.
Not saying I don't like my home, or writing silly shit in this wankery blog...But tonight I'd like something spontaneous to happen. I don't mean grabbing more vodka and a movie, or going next door to see queers dance badly....or maybe I do? Mmmff...it doesn't matter if they're queer or not...And I don't care whether anyone's dancing, or drinking. Just scrabble maybe? Haha. No, what I would love to do is skateboard downtown and take photos of night people with someone I don't even know.
But I just showered and my hair's all wet. She's asleep and I won't leave like that, all wet haired and bored, walking slowly in the dark. I am going to settle for reading random people's journals. Read the inaccurate portrayals of who they are. Emotions and fluff come out of people's minds in journals. Fluff because other people are reading it, and you have to censor your own thoughts. What publicly acceptable emotions we do have just sounds whiny.
I know I sound whiny when I write in this journal. But it's entertainment between work and school and getting drunk.
See what I mean?
Hmm...when I'm awake at night all of my embarrassing moments come back to haunt me. Believe, I am an embarrassing person.Fuck.....I wore pink sweatsuits to school until grade 5. The only day I wore khakis last year, I had my period and you can probly guess what happened the day of my History presentation. I had a customer ask me where to find discman's and I pointed to the area. He cursed and I couldn't figure out why until I looked up and saw his dark glasses and wheeled pole.
I've turned twenty shades of red.
...
Things I want to learn how to do this year:
1.) Knit
2.) Change a tire roadside without help
3.) Write satire
4.) Cook meat
5.) Master stickshifting
...
Oh, and being nicer with girlfriend's ex-girlfriend's, not falling on my ass in high heels, and working sans the 'inquery' voice are somewhere on that list...
While you're all fucking and snorting cocaine (actually I really hope none of you are doing that) I'm at home awake, alone, and writing in the public journal that nobody reads.
Not saying I don't like my home, or writing silly shit in this wankery blog...But tonight I'd like something spontaneous to happen. I don't mean grabbing more vodka and a movie, or going next door to see queers dance badly....or maybe I do? Mmmff...it doesn't matter if they're queer or not...And I don't care whether anyone's dancing, or drinking. Just scrabble maybe? Haha. No, what I would love to do is skateboard downtown and take photos of night people with someone I don't even know.
But I just showered and my hair's all wet. She's asleep and I won't leave like that, all wet haired and bored, walking slowly in the dark. I am going to settle for reading random people's journals. Read the inaccurate portrayals of who they are. Emotions and fluff come out of people's minds in journals. Fluff because other people are reading it, and you have to censor your own thoughts. What publicly acceptable emotions we do have just sounds whiny.
I know I sound whiny when I write in this journal. But it's entertainment between work and school and getting drunk.
See what I mean?
Hmm...when I'm awake at night all of my embarrassing moments come back to haunt me. Believe, I am an embarrassing person.Fuck.....I wore pink sweatsuits to school until grade 5. The only day I wore khakis last year, I had my period and you can probly guess what happened the day of my History presentation. I had a customer ask me where to find discman's and I pointed to the area. He cursed and I couldn't figure out why until I looked up and saw his dark glasses and wheeled pole.
I've turned twenty shades of red.
...
Things I want to learn how to do this year:
1.) Knit
2.) Change a tire roadside without help
3.) Write satire
4.) Cook meat
5.) Master stickshifting
...
Oh, and being nicer with girlfriend's ex-girlfriend's, not falling on my ass in high heels, and working sans the 'inquery' voice are somewhere on that list...