Where it hurts most
For those of you who didn't know, two weeks ago Tuesday Justin had to have emergency surgery to have his appendix removed. He's getting better...but it's been a slow and emotional recovery. Also, if you didn't know, Justin has been busting his butt for awhile now trying to become a Louisville Fire Fighter because they are finally hiring (first time in three years, and the last time for probably a few more years). He had already passed the first test, which was the written exam, and was preparing everyday for the physical exam (which is one of the hardest physical tests to be taken). Since I've met him, he's been dying to be a fire fighter. I cannot even described how utterly disappointed he was after this surgery. He now cannot complete the final test...which he had one hell of a shot at. I ask myself everyday why bad stuff happens to good people...and in this case, the best and most honorable man alive. But I guess that's life...and you just have to keep a perspective and keep on going.
Justin is one of the most active, mobile, and physically helpful person around...and it's been a very hard transition for him to go from that to not being able to sit up on his own or walk. Like I said, he's improving alot, but it's hard...and it's heartbreaking.
We were allowed back as soon as he woke up following his surgery and I just cried. I cried because I knew he was hurting and I knew, as soon as he heard the news about the fire department he was going to be crushed. I cried so hard because I knew, no matter what...I couldn't take his place...and God, I wish I could, more than anything, I wish it was me instead of him. After he came to, he was crushed and devestated about the fire department. The kid cried.
I've been with him over two years...and I've not seen him cry like that.
God, the way things work...it breaks my heart.
Today, he came up from behind me and put his arms around my neck and buried his head in my hair and cried more. Since Thanksgiving he had some sort of relapse in his recovery and has not been able to hardly get out of bed since Saturday.
I really don't know if I can put into words what Justin means to me. All I know is that it should have been me having that surgery instead of him.
What he needs right now is friends. Friends to call him and tell him that they're thinking about him. Thank you to all those who have been there and called and whatever.
And through everything, I won't leave his side....
because True Love isn't so much a feeling as it is a choice.
Justin is one of the most active, mobile, and physically helpful person around...and it's been a very hard transition for him to go from that to not being able to sit up on his own or walk. Like I said, he's improving alot, but it's hard...and it's heartbreaking.
We were allowed back as soon as he woke up following his surgery and I just cried. I cried because I knew he was hurting and I knew, as soon as he heard the news about the fire department he was going to be crushed. I cried so hard because I knew, no matter what...I couldn't take his place...and God, I wish I could, more than anything, I wish it was me instead of him. After he came to, he was crushed and devestated about the fire department. The kid cried.
I've been with him over two years...and I've not seen him cry like that.
God, the way things work...it breaks my heart.
Today, he came up from behind me and put his arms around my neck and buried his head in my hair and cried more. Since Thanksgiving he had some sort of relapse in his recovery and has not been able to hardly get out of bed since Saturday.
I really don't know if I can put into words what Justin means to me. All I know is that it should have been me having that surgery instead of him.
What he needs right now is friends. Friends to call him and tell him that they're thinking about him. Thank you to all those who have been there and called and whatever.
And through everything, I won't leave his side....
because True Love isn't so much a feeling as it is a choice.