I solemnly swear this is not a post about anything cullen
Except for the title of course. ;P No, this is just a regular post but I'll make it short and all. Since I haven't even attempted a personal post in forever, it seemed the thing to do. Plus I was inspired to dodge work - nothing strange there.
- Yesterday my brother Clay turned 40. I'm decidedly depressed about it. I mean, we are almost 7 years apart, but he is the brother I grew up with (I have a few step and half brothers via my Dad that I hardly know, haven't spoken to my Dad in oh, 11 years I think and according to Clay he is remarried again and I have even more step siblings of which I don't know a single thing - not even their sex or ages) and to me, my only brother. Even more so than my Dad, my brother helped raise me - mostly because of our age difference and the fact that our parents got divorced when I was 2, but also because Clay was already mentally a 35 year old when I came along. You know the type, always responsible and hordes money. That's not to say that we didn't drive each other bonkers at times, because we did. We fought just like any other siblings and he was a typical big brother in that regard - we excelled in making each others lives hellish - but he was my brother and I was his baby sister and we loved each other. Then he left when I was in 5th grade for college (he was 17 when he graduated HS) and never really came home except for visits. Now, 22 years later he lives in Las Vegas and makes more money in one year than my husband and I probably make in 5 put together, and I'm proud of him for that - I don't really resent him because that is always who he was. In a way I actually feel a bit sad that all he really has in his daily life that he loves is a dog. He helped raise all of us kids so he has none of his own and is a workaholic. Over the years we just kinda stopped talking the way we used to and that makes me very sad. The last time he came home was when my aunt died the week my youngest son was born, and that was over 4 years ago. We have talked a few times since but not nearly as much as I wish we did. And I miss him. As adults we really do seem to get along as well as enjoy talking to one another - when we do. And I'm just as much to blame as he is. I am notoriously bad at aiming to keep touch with people especially when I know they are even busier than I am. *sigh* I guess my point is that I miss my brother. I know whats going on in his life because our Mother doesn't give him a choice but to talk to her regularly, but I miss talking to him and being his friend. And now we are getting old and time seems to be running past us. /personal grumblings
- Megan started 4th grade last week. I swear the summer was too short. Not that I'm really complaining, since now I don't have to worry about who has her when (grandmother shuffling and such). She seems to like her teachers OK and luckily it seems like most of her 3rd grade class and all of her friends all got laterally moved to this same class, so socially the transition seems to be somewhat smooth but we'll see. Gymnastics is going well. She is training and going to compete in Level 4 this whole year I think. And her routines look very good. Throughout the summer they have practiced 9 hours a week and it will be like that all year - 3 hours a day, 3 days a week. I'm excited for competition to start again in late September and I feel good about this year after our success last year. Plus her attitude is very good about where she is so that's nice. The one things that is going to kill me this year is the tuition. Since we picked up an extra compulsory day this year that is $75 more a month. Basically I pay what I would for a private schools tuition just for gymnastics once you add in all the meet fees and such. At least I don't have to buy new competitive leotards and such this year - thank God! *sigh* I keep telling myself that it will work out and I can do it by stretching - but honestly, if she hadn't found this newfound love of the sport - if her bad attitude that started after she won State in March and carried over until she went to camp at the University of Alabama in June hadn't stopped I was ready to let her quit like she kept crowing about. But now she's happy and positive even though she is working harder than ever so what am I to do? What any parent does, suck it up and suffer and pinch pennies because it's important right? Right? Yes, it's important to both her and me and I'd be a fool to say it wasn't.
- Brady is doing good. We just changed his preschool last week as well. There were a few reasons but mostly it boils down to this new center having more technical equipment like computers and great word of mouth from other parents on the 4 year old teacher. Some of his friends from his last daycare had already moved there and we checked it out and liked what we saw. He seems to be quite happy so far and we are already noticing less drama and more interesting papers from him at the end of the day. He's so smart that the fact that I can see him learning more, even after such a short period of time just makes me very excited to see what is to come.
- Ben has been having a rough summer but I think with work and all it is finally leveling out. He seems to be doing much better and that makes me very happy and takes an enormous load off my shoulders. He has actually seemed even somewhat happy the past 2 weeks or so. So I'll be crossing my fingers that he stays all zen-like and his job doesn't drive him to insanity - which in turn drives him to insanity - which in turn changes my role from wife to amateur therapist. I like being a wife and partner much better thank you very much. I'm not married because it's the cool thing to do or just because I love Ben, which I do. I'm married to Ben mostly because he's my partner. We can live a pretty much 50/50 existence and that is what I both like and need. But sometimes it's more like 75/25 and it gets a bit tough. But we seem to be doing better than we were a few months ago and so I think we'll be OK.
- I've been spending a good deal of time lately at my best friend Elizabeth's house. We have been best friends (and worst enemies at times, but mostly when we were MUCH younger) since we were 2. That's a 31 year friendship for anyone keeping score, and honestly we are much more like sisters than friends and she basically is my family. Anyway, we are both busy. Me with the kids and Ben and work. Her with work and personal stuff. Our norm is to like talk every week or two and maybe see each other and hang out every other month. It used to be alot more, but with our different life commitments was just hard sometimes. I always miss her, probably because I am never really myself with anyone the way I am with her, but it really just took a kick in the pants and some semi-desperate measures to make us spend more physical time together. My dryer broke and for the past like 3 weeks or so I have been going over to her house and spending the night and washing cloths and such. About the 2nd week I realized that I wasn't just there because I had to be, that I truly did love being there and spending some much needed time with just her. And both of us realized that it's something that we both want and need to keep up. This weekend I was supposed to go just to hang out (dryer is fixed) but had a pretty annoyingly nasty migraine most of the day/evening Saturday and spend Sunday recovering from the meds. But I definitely see where I need that. It's like, without Elizabeth as a sounding board my life makes much less sense or something. As time has gone by I think we have fully embraced how much we need each other and honestly, I'm a happier person when we get to spend quality time together.
I guess the point of this whole post is, my real life has kept on happening. Fast. Most of what I talk about around her is fandom and books and my distractions. But the things in this post are the what make up my day to day real life (except my work, and money issues and the hellish heat that I'm convinced is contributing to my headaches of late) - the things that are my life. So it's only right that every now and then I give them their very just do and post musings about them. Even if they are only really for myself more than anyone else.
- Yesterday my brother Clay turned 40. I'm decidedly depressed about it. I mean, we are almost 7 years apart, but he is the brother I grew up with (I have a few step and half brothers via my Dad that I hardly know, haven't spoken to my Dad in oh, 11 years I think and according to Clay he is remarried again and I have even more step siblings of which I don't know a single thing - not even their sex or ages) and to me, my only brother. Even more so than my Dad, my brother helped raise me - mostly because of our age difference and the fact that our parents got divorced when I was 2, but also because Clay was already mentally a 35 year old when I came along. You know the type, always responsible and hordes money. That's not to say that we didn't drive each other bonkers at times, because we did. We fought just like any other siblings and he was a typical big brother in that regard - we excelled in making each others lives hellish - but he was my brother and I was his baby sister and we loved each other. Then he left when I was in 5th grade for college (he was 17 when he graduated HS) and never really came home except for visits. Now, 22 years later he lives in Las Vegas and makes more money in one year than my husband and I probably make in 5 put together, and I'm proud of him for that - I don't really resent him because that is always who he was. In a way I actually feel a bit sad that all he really has in his daily life that he loves is a dog. He helped raise all of us kids so he has none of his own and is a workaholic. Over the years we just kinda stopped talking the way we used to and that makes me very sad. The last time he came home was when my aunt died the week my youngest son was born, and that was over 4 years ago. We have talked a few times since but not nearly as much as I wish we did. And I miss him. As adults we really do seem to get along as well as enjoy talking to one another - when we do. And I'm just as much to blame as he is. I am notoriously bad at aiming to keep touch with people especially when I know they are even busier than I am. *sigh* I guess my point is that I miss my brother. I know whats going on in his life because our Mother doesn't give him a choice but to talk to her regularly, but I miss talking to him and being his friend. And now we are getting old and time seems to be running past us. /personal grumblings
- Megan started 4th grade last week. I swear the summer was too short. Not that I'm really complaining, since now I don't have to worry about who has her when (grandmother shuffling and such). She seems to like her teachers OK and luckily it seems like most of her 3rd grade class and all of her friends all got laterally moved to this same class, so socially the transition seems to be somewhat smooth but we'll see. Gymnastics is going well. She is training and going to compete in Level 4 this whole year I think. And her routines look very good. Throughout the summer they have practiced 9 hours a week and it will be like that all year - 3 hours a day, 3 days a week. I'm excited for competition to start again in late September and I feel good about this year after our success last year. Plus her attitude is very good about where she is so that's nice. The one things that is going to kill me this year is the tuition. Since we picked up an extra compulsory day this year that is $75 more a month. Basically I pay what I would for a private schools tuition just for gymnastics once you add in all the meet fees and such. At least I don't have to buy new competitive leotards and such this year - thank God! *sigh* I keep telling myself that it will work out and I can do it by stretching - but honestly, if she hadn't found this newfound love of the sport - if her bad attitude that started after she won State in March and carried over until she went to camp at the University of Alabama in June hadn't stopped I was ready to let her quit like she kept crowing about. But now she's happy and positive even though she is working harder than ever so what am I to do? What any parent does, suck it up and suffer and pinch pennies because it's important right? Right? Yes, it's important to both her and me and I'd be a fool to say it wasn't.
- Brady is doing good. We just changed his preschool last week as well. There were a few reasons but mostly it boils down to this new center having more technical equipment like computers and great word of mouth from other parents on the 4 year old teacher. Some of his friends from his last daycare had already moved there and we checked it out and liked what we saw. He seems to be quite happy so far and we are already noticing less drama and more interesting papers from him at the end of the day. He's so smart that the fact that I can see him learning more, even after such a short period of time just makes me very excited to see what is to come.
- Ben has been having a rough summer but I think with work and all it is finally leveling out. He seems to be doing much better and that makes me very happy and takes an enormous load off my shoulders. He has actually seemed even somewhat happy the past 2 weeks or so. So I'll be crossing my fingers that he stays all zen-like and his job doesn't drive him to insanity - which in turn drives him to insanity - which in turn changes my role from wife to amateur therapist. I like being a wife and partner much better thank you very much. I'm not married because it's the cool thing to do or just because I love Ben, which I do. I'm married to Ben mostly because he's my partner. We can live a pretty much 50/50 existence and that is what I both like and need. But sometimes it's more like 75/25 and it gets a bit tough. But we seem to be doing better than we were a few months ago and so I think we'll be OK.
- I've been spending a good deal of time lately at my best friend Elizabeth's house. We have been best friends (and worst enemies at times, but mostly when we were MUCH younger) since we were 2. That's a 31 year friendship for anyone keeping score, and honestly we are much more like sisters than friends and she basically is my family. Anyway, we are both busy. Me with the kids and Ben and work. Her with work and personal stuff. Our norm is to like talk every week or two and maybe see each other and hang out every other month. It used to be alot more, but with our different life commitments was just hard sometimes. I always miss her, probably because I am never really myself with anyone the way I am with her, but it really just took a kick in the pants and some semi-desperate measures to make us spend more physical time together. My dryer broke and for the past like 3 weeks or so I have been going over to her house and spending the night and washing cloths and such. About the 2nd week I realized that I wasn't just there because I had to be, that I truly did love being there and spending some much needed time with just her. And both of us realized that it's something that we both want and need to keep up. This weekend I was supposed to go just to hang out (dryer is fixed) but had a pretty annoyingly nasty migraine most of the day/evening Saturday and spend Sunday recovering from the meds. But I definitely see where I need that. It's like, without Elizabeth as a sounding board my life makes much less sense or something. As time has gone by I think we have fully embraced how much we need each other and honestly, I'm a happier person when we get to spend quality time together.
I guess the point of this whole post is, my real life has kept on happening. Fast. Most of what I talk about around her is fandom and books and my distractions. But the things in this post are the what make up my day to day real life (except my work, and money issues and the hellish heat that I'm convinced is contributing to my headaches of late) - the things that are my life. So it's only right that every now and then I give them their very just do and post musings about them. Even if they are only really for myself more than anyone else.