I quit
I don't know anything. I don't know how to live, where to go, how i feel. have I enjoyed this trip?
Am I hurt because of the tears?
Am I hurt because of rejection?
Am I hurt because I fail at judgment?
At guessing, at wishing, at trying to hard.
I sat at work befundled for four hours last night. A nice breaze was blowing across the lots and it was relaxing. I had so much energy my mind is racing so fast yet I can concentrate for the first time in my life. All I coud think about all weekend is coming home and hanging out. I was worried before because of the presentation to me and the effort I had to put in. I was sure now...ready to leap that bridge. For the first time in a year! why does this happen to me everytime I put my heart into anything it bites me back. I will only put it on the line once... That is a rule I've always lived by. It hurts to ignore my feelings but in the end i know it would hurt less right? I spent the rest of sunday trying to find the perfect gift but I don't know you enough yet i guess. I was ready but I missed the bridge. Its a fun ride down. The wind hurting my eyes as the gravity fulls me faster... bring tears to my eyes. How far is the fall? I can't see anymore will ihit water all ground? Is there a bungy to my leg i can't feel one. Will it hurt?
By the end of my 12hour shift this morning I was tired and numb. I've never thought this before, but I'm not worried. Friends are fine and I've had so much fun under these intentions. I don't know what i was expecting. I wanted to wait till i was graduated but I figured I'd been graduated two years ago. and 18... whoever said girl mature faster was a girl... there is a diffrence between mature and being able decide but i've learned its the same thing. Maybe i still can get that last date. I was/am still excited! I just love to be around her even as a friend i guess.
Neither the way I've decided to try to be completely me always now. It will be hard because I try to be nice always. But if i ever lose myself will i be able to find out where i went?
Maybe its heartburn I should go take a tums. wish i had some...
Am I hurt because of the tears?
Am I hurt because of rejection?
Am I hurt because I fail at judgment?
At guessing, at wishing, at trying to hard.
I sat at work befundled for four hours last night. A nice breaze was blowing across the lots and it was relaxing. I had so much energy my mind is racing so fast yet I can concentrate for the first time in my life. All I coud think about all weekend is coming home and hanging out. I was worried before because of the presentation to me and the effort I had to put in. I was sure now...ready to leap that bridge. For the first time in a year! why does this happen to me everytime I put my heart into anything it bites me back. I will only put it on the line once... That is a rule I've always lived by. It hurts to ignore my feelings but in the end i know it would hurt less right? I spent the rest of sunday trying to find the perfect gift but I don't know you enough yet i guess. I was ready but I missed the bridge. Its a fun ride down. The wind hurting my eyes as the gravity fulls me faster... bring tears to my eyes. How far is the fall? I can't see anymore will ihit water all ground? Is there a bungy to my leg i can't feel one. Will it hurt?
By the end of my 12hour shift this morning I was tired and numb. I've never thought this before, but I'm not worried. Friends are fine and I've had so much fun under these intentions. I don't know what i was expecting. I wanted to wait till i was graduated but I figured I'd been graduated two years ago. and 18... whoever said girl mature faster was a girl... there is a diffrence between mature and being able decide but i've learned its the same thing. Maybe i still can get that last date. I was/am still excited! I just love to be around her even as a friend i guess.
Neither the way I've decided to try to be completely me always now. It will be hard because I try to be nice always. But if i ever lose myself will i be able to find out where i went?
Maybe its heartburn I should go take a tums. wish i had some...