Raison D'Etre?
What is the meaning of life?
I'm not saying this in any cliche'd way. But I just realized, while thinking about the two weeks I'll have off for spring break, that everything will continue to be the way it is until I graduate, when I shall be off to college, and then I'll get a job, preferably something enjoyable, maybe get married at some point, get old and die.
So what's the point? I'm kind of depressed. Exixstentialist hedonism seems like the only thing that makes sense right now.
I don't feel like I'm even wasting my time being alive, because everything is only temporary in any case. You know? Even if you do make a lasting impression on time, like Shakespeare or Dante, it still doesn't seem like enough, in return for a life. And the idea of an afterlife makes no sense in any case. At least not momentarily. Because, why would one exist? And if there is a god, which doesn't seem likely, considering the state of the world, he would have to be sadistic, which is no consolation. Like, at the ASM, when somebody was talking about child soldiers in Uganda, I was looking at the map, and there's Rwanda and the Congo and Sudan right next to Uganda, and it's all messed-up, and it's messed up everywhere you go!
I really just want to join a hippie commune right now and forget about everything. When spring break finally rolls around, I'll have even more time to think about this stuff!
I kind of hate myself too, because here I am, at a preppy expensive private school, with $200 on my terrier card and regular meals, while there are people starving every day. I hate everybody, pretty much, right now.
I'm not saying this in any cliche'd way. But I just realized, while thinking about the two weeks I'll have off for spring break, that everything will continue to be the way it is until I graduate, when I shall be off to college, and then I'll get a job, preferably something enjoyable, maybe get married at some point, get old and die.
So what's the point? I'm kind of depressed. Exixstentialist hedonism seems like the only thing that makes sense right now.
I don't feel like I'm even wasting my time being alive, because everything is only temporary in any case. You know? Even if you do make a lasting impression on time, like Shakespeare or Dante, it still doesn't seem like enough, in return for a life. And the idea of an afterlife makes no sense in any case. At least not momentarily. Because, why would one exist? And if there is a god, which doesn't seem likely, considering the state of the world, he would have to be sadistic, which is no consolation. Like, at the ASM, when somebody was talking about child soldiers in Uganda, I was looking at the map, and there's Rwanda and the Congo and Sudan right next to Uganda, and it's all messed-up, and it's messed up everywhere you go!
I really just want to join a hippie commune right now and forget about everything. When spring break finally rolls around, I'll have even more time to think about this stuff!
I kind of hate myself too, because here I am, at a preppy expensive private school, with $200 on my terrier card and regular meals, while there are people starving every day. I hate everybody, pretty much, right now.