im so stressed out
i feel like never seeing anybody again.
or just screaming and screaming until i lost my voice.
why do people have to make you feel like you want to die?
or make you feel like your always doing something wrong
every step, every move you make.
i shouldnt always have to feel like im under everyone
or that im not good enough for anyone
i shouldnt be scared to say or do something that i mean
and express myself
then get yelled at for it. and have to go cheer someone else up
instead of myself whos really the one feeling it.
its not how i should be living my life.not at all.
i just want the best for me. for you. for everyone.
i am always the one fucking up. or so it seems.
nobody else fucks up but me of course.
nobody lies but me. nobody cheats but me.
nobody yells butt me.
stop living in your lies. stop living in your fantasy world.
stop living in the life you want me to be perfect in.
and the life where you are dominant over me.
even if it doesnt seem like it. i do care about myself.
im not going to let me fall apart. again.
i am going to stay strong. i am going to stand up for myself
you can go cry. have your pity parties. make me feel bad for you
but no more guilt trips.
no more crying because i supposedly hurt you.
no more turning around your faults to look like they are mine.
no more no more no moreeee
fuck i want everyone to just leave me alone.
im sick of your stupid apologies.
they dont help me anymore.
i dont know what to so with you right now.
i dont even know what to do with myself right now.
you apologize and expect everything to be perfect.
and back to normal. not this time. not now.
dont talk to me.
and stop swearing like you know whats right for me
i am independent. i can live without you.
i can live without your lies and tantrums everyday
i can live without the money. and the babytalk WHICH I HATE.
but you wouldnt know that. because its always about you.
no matter how much you say you love me and its about me
its not. its not its not.
i wish you would ask me how i was feeling for a change.
im done.