A sign i either have to much time on my hands, Or im just a weirdo
So the other day out of a spark of creative innovation and a slight blood alcohol level. i started painting my old clothes drawer. As i was painting it, i started to put together a poorly written crappy short little story to go along with it.
This is the story of Herbert. An alcohol abusing, rainbow addicted, lonely little cabinet who lives in IKEA. Herbert was born on a cold November day on the second floor of ikea. His father made an honest living as a Desk. His mother was a Mattress frame and his brother was a kitchen shelf. Herbert had High aspirations and hopes to one day be filled with freshly washed neatly folded clothes. As the years went by, new...More up to date cabinets started to come out. No one wanted an old out of date cabinet. In a realization no one would ever buy him, herbert turned to heavy drinking.
he drank and drank until his metal screws started to rust. One morning a Really poor kid went to ikea to eat 50 cent hotdogs. On her way to bathroom, she got lost and decided to just go behind IKEA. There she ran into herbert puking behind a Dumpster. The girl said "My God your a Wreck." Herbert stumbled up and wobbled over to a PT Cruiser parked right next to a Hummer and manage to throw up on both cars at once. The girl and Herbert instantly became the best of friends. She took Herbert home and after 20 years finally fulfilled his dream and put fresh neatly folded clothes into him. days went by and the girl started to wonder why her clothes wreaked of alcohol and rainbows.one day she herbert walked into the house with a suspicious bag in his hand. she asked what it was. herbert tried to avoid that question and said that he met a girl and that it was just Viagra. She swiped the bag out of his hands and opened it.....It was Rainbow.....(for those of you who are not familiar with Rainbow. In our world, rainbow is like heroine,red wine, and sparks mixed together. a Highly lethal combination.)The line was drawn,and something had to be done. The girl noticed that Herbert sure threw up alot while going through withdrawels. being the horrible person/quick thinker she was, she realized she cuould exploit his pain. She got out old clothes and put them in front of herbert. Just the sight of clothes sicken herbert to a point in which he vomits buckets and buckets of rainbow colored tye dye puke. She dunked the shirts in the tye-dye vomit solution and wrote REO Speedwagon on them. During the next nascar event she sold thousands of hideous REO Speedwagon shirts and made millions. She never worked a day in her life again and Herbert died Shortly After.
The End.
This is the story of Herbert. An alcohol abusing, rainbow addicted, lonely little cabinet who lives in IKEA. Herbert was born on a cold November day on the second floor of ikea. His father made an honest living as a Desk. His mother was a Mattress frame and his brother was a kitchen shelf. Herbert had High aspirations and hopes to one day be filled with freshly washed neatly folded clothes. As the years went by, new...More up to date cabinets started to come out. No one wanted an old out of date cabinet. In a realization no one would ever buy him, herbert turned to heavy drinking.
he drank and drank until his metal screws started to rust. One morning a Really poor kid went to ikea to eat 50 cent hotdogs. On her way to bathroom, she got lost and decided to just go behind IKEA. There she ran into herbert puking behind a Dumpster. The girl said "My God your a Wreck." Herbert stumbled up and wobbled over to a PT Cruiser parked right next to a Hummer and manage to throw up on both cars at once. The girl and Herbert instantly became the best of friends. She took Herbert home and after 20 years finally fulfilled his dream and put fresh neatly folded clothes into him. days went by and the girl started to wonder why her clothes wreaked of alcohol and rainbows.one day she herbert walked into the house with a suspicious bag in his hand. she asked what it was. herbert tried to avoid that question and said that he met a girl and that it was just Viagra. She swiped the bag out of his hands and opened it.....It was Rainbow.....(for those of you who are not familiar with Rainbow. In our world, rainbow is like heroine,red wine, and sparks mixed together. a Highly lethal combination.)The line was drawn,and something had to be done. The girl noticed that Herbert sure threw up alot while going through withdrawels. being the horrible person/quick thinker she was, she realized she cuould exploit his pain. She got out old clothes and put them in front of herbert. Just the sight of clothes sicken herbert to a point in which he vomits buckets and buckets of rainbow colored tye dye puke. She dunked the shirts in the tye-dye vomit solution and wrote REO Speedwagon on them. During the next nascar event she sold thousands of hideous REO Speedwagon shirts and made millions. She never worked a day in her life again and Herbert died Shortly After.
The End.