mix 3 cups of emo with a pinch of optimism..the result: you SUCK
i find myself reminiscing about the past. all the good times i have experienced. i realize how much things have changed, and how people have changed. how i have changed. why did it change? for the better? everything happens for a reason. whatever happens is meant to happen. i have to keep telling myself that, because that is what will keep me going.
time is going by fast, i feel i am not keeping up. very soon my life will be forced to change, i will have to keep focused, try harder for the sake of my parents, and hope to satisfy them. why am i doing things for them, and not myself? what would happen if i pursued my own wishes, not theirs? i want their support, but i cannot acquire it unless i am pleasing them. i don't want to do what they want me to. i want to be my own person.
i have weird emotions. one minute i feel i am finally getting along well with life. i am really getting through this. the next thing i know, it just slaps me across the face. i am struck with fear and lonliness, feelings of self-guilt, and endless questions. i question my faith. i don't know what to believe. it scares me that certain things in my life could grieve such an effect on me. but, let's say i get the thing i wish for, would i really be so happy as i thought i would be? you always want what you can't have. you don't know what you have until it's gone. so cliche. so fucking true at the same time.
looking back, for christ's sake, i was so selfish and self-centered. does everything always have to revolve around me? so paranoid. i hate myself for it, but what's the point in doing so? is this self-loathing somehow going to help me cope? of course not. i have learned from the past. i have learned not to be like this anymore. because it gets you nowhere. learn to appreciate the things you have, instead of abusing their existence. because if you're not careful, they will disappear.
stand up straight, move forward. you think too much, too deeply. stop making everything such a big deal. this is high school. you are going to look back and think of yourself as foolish for considering these problems so grave.
what a stupid entry.
time is going by fast, i feel i am not keeping up. very soon my life will be forced to change, i will have to keep focused, try harder for the sake of my parents, and hope to satisfy them. why am i doing things for them, and not myself? what would happen if i pursued my own wishes, not theirs? i want their support, but i cannot acquire it unless i am pleasing them. i don't want to do what they want me to. i want to be my own person.
i have weird emotions. one minute i feel i am finally getting along well with life. i am really getting through this. the next thing i know, it just slaps me across the face. i am struck with fear and lonliness, feelings of self-guilt, and endless questions. i question my faith. i don't know what to believe. it scares me that certain things in my life could grieve such an effect on me. but, let's say i get the thing i wish for, would i really be so happy as i thought i would be? you always want what you can't have. you don't know what you have until it's gone. so cliche. so fucking true at the same time.
looking back, for christ's sake, i was so selfish and self-centered. does everything always have to revolve around me? so paranoid. i hate myself for it, but what's the point in doing so? is this self-loathing somehow going to help me cope? of course not. i have learned from the past. i have learned not to be like this anymore. because it gets you nowhere. learn to appreciate the things you have, instead of abusing their existence. because if you're not careful, they will disappear.
stand up straight, move forward. you think too much, too deeply. stop making everything such a big deal. this is high school. you are going to look back and think of yourself as foolish for considering these problems so grave.
what a stupid entry.