love
you never truly appreciate something until its gone...really gone. i have so much to say. i didnt know i was capable of feeling so many different emotions at once. regret...disbeleif...yearning...confusion...heartbreak...reminisence...warmth...despair
i can not even begin to describe what he meant to me. he taught me so much. god, i am simply amazed. he taught me so much about how and what it means to care for another person, and about appreciating every moment. about finding balance in everything you do or think and about trust and communication and compromise. about staying grounded and staying true to yourself. about making the RIGHT choice although it may be the hard one. about what it really means to love.
regret is a miserable word. and some how i managed to cause more regret this week then i EVER have in my life. but im trying so hard to learn. its hard to learn when your hurting from it, and when youve hurt someone else. but i hope that some day both he and i will look back at everything...not just this week but all of the bad through our whole relationship that ever caused even the slightest glimpse of regret and bitterness...and learn from it.
i can't imagine that anyone will ever love me like he did or make me feel as beautiful, comfortable, blissful, appreciated, cared for, and respected as he did. i've never trusted someone's absolute care for me like i did his. and for that, i am eternally greatful. if i ever took advantage of that, or hurt that i am emensely sorry. because i am so honored and amazed and appreciative of the unwavering care you had for me. i would have and still would do anything for you.
i dont know if it hurts more to think about the good memories or the bad. both seem so close, but so far away. i want all that we had again. so many speicific memories flash through my mind but i can't capture even one of them becuase i know i can never relive them. and that hurts. knowing its over. i miss you already.
but even though it hurts and its difficult, i still know that it was the most amazing experience of my life. we were so perfect for each other, yet so opposite. it was beautiful. i will never forget you, and you truly will always remain a part of my heart. i wish you all the best in the world. you are an amazingly compassionate, promising and all aroung beautiful person. and i hope to be with you again someday. i love you, steven bookbinder.
i can not even begin to describe what he meant to me. he taught me so much. god, i am simply amazed. he taught me so much about how and what it means to care for another person, and about appreciating every moment. about finding balance in everything you do or think and about trust and communication and compromise. about staying grounded and staying true to yourself. about making the RIGHT choice although it may be the hard one. about what it really means to love.
regret is a miserable word. and some how i managed to cause more regret this week then i EVER have in my life. but im trying so hard to learn. its hard to learn when your hurting from it, and when youve hurt someone else. but i hope that some day both he and i will look back at everything...not just this week but all of the bad through our whole relationship that ever caused even the slightest glimpse of regret and bitterness...and learn from it.
i can't imagine that anyone will ever love me like he did or make me feel as beautiful, comfortable, blissful, appreciated, cared for, and respected as he did. i've never trusted someone's absolute care for me like i did his. and for that, i am eternally greatful. if i ever took advantage of that, or hurt that i am emensely sorry. because i am so honored and amazed and appreciative of the unwavering care you had for me. i would have and still would do anything for you.
i dont know if it hurts more to think about the good memories or the bad. both seem so close, but so far away. i want all that we had again. so many speicific memories flash through my mind but i can't capture even one of them becuase i know i can never relive them. and that hurts. knowing its over. i miss you already.
but even though it hurts and its difficult, i still know that it was the most amazing experience of my life. we were so perfect for each other, yet so opposite. it was beautiful. i will never forget you, and you truly will always remain a part of my heart. i wish you all the best in the world. you are an amazingly compassionate, promising and all aroung beautiful person. and i hope to be with you again someday. i love you, steven bookbinder.