bleh
I haven't updated this thing in over a month. My interest in it has waned considerably.
Its strange, everyone around me appears to be collapsing under their own weight. I'm not exactly floating, but I get by pretty well.
But then again maybe not.
More and more I'm having days where everything goes wrong and all I want to do is huddle up in my bed and stay there.
But I trudge through. I haven't given myself a choice to do otherwise.
I thought about this while sitting in PUSH Cafe (a notch under alt. in pretention (sp?)) hiding my face away in Clark's chest. Everything, big and little is a mess and requires strength beyond my capacity to fix it. But I have this. This being our relationship.
We talked about how the city is killing me from the inside out.
We talked about the possibility of going away during mid-winter break.
Maybe Glouster. Maybe no where at all.
My mother started school again. Which means I'm left home alone until Tenpm just about everyday. Some days this can be depressing but on others its a godsent. Tonight I cleaned my room, went grocery shopping and made myself dinner-Pasta with tomato sauce from scratch. All that's left for me to do is my Government project (The one due today), my laundry and some excersize. None of which I'm looking foward to doing.
I think what I will do, is go put on a small pot of coffee and smoke a cigarette and then drink my coffee while working on the government project.
The laundry can blow me.
PS my ipod is on crack. Again. I really hate this thing some times.
Its strange, everyone around me appears to be collapsing under their own weight. I'm not exactly floating, but I get by pretty well.
But then again maybe not.
More and more I'm having days where everything goes wrong and all I want to do is huddle up in my bed and stay there.
But I trudge through. I haven't given myself a choice to do otherwise.
I thought about this while sitting in PUSH Cafe (a notch under alt. in pretention (sp?)) hiding my face away in Clark's chest. Everything, big and little is a mess and requires strength beyond my capacity to fix it. But I have this. This being our relationship.
We talked about how the city is killing me from the inside out.
We talked about the possibility of going away during mid-winter break.
Maybe Glouster. Maybe no where at all.
My mother started school again. Which means I'm left home alone until Tenpm just about everyday. Some days this can be depressing but on others its a godsent. Tonight I cleaned my room, went grocery shopping and made myself dinner-Pasta with tomato sauce from scratch. All that's left for me to do is my Government project (The one due today), my laundry and some excersize. None of which I'm looking foward to doing.
I think what I will do, is go put on a small pot of coffee and smoke a cigarette and then drink my coffee while working on the government project.
The laundry can blow me.
PS my ipod is on crack. Again. I really hate this thing some times.