(no subject)
im so scared of everyone and everything and when i talk to my parents i want to die because they make me think about the future and how its not going to be anywhere near the way i want it to and i cant watch their heads shake at my weakness so i just go in my room and try to sleep and then when i think about the future i want to die because im so scared and nothing will turn out the way i want it to and if i ever trip and fall no one will catch me and what if i cant depend on myself so i can never fall but i already feel like im falling and i want to leave my house because i just realized all the thoughts my parents put into my head are making me even more unhealthy than i already am and im losing even though im trying to deal with things well but theyre right nobody will understand and im so mad because you did understand but now i remember that nobody else in this world is much like you so im fucking screwed and all i can do is think about today and how im going to drink until my mind is blank